 |
| Lucinda's gettin' some sun. |
But I digress, I am the vice-president of Bumpkin Industries. The president, and CEO, of Bumpkin Industries is a groundhog named Bumpkin. Those of you who are in the know understand how a groundhog could run a multinational corporation while planning an attack on the humans for control of the world. You see, she's got these superpowers...
The sky is the limit for Bumpkin Industries. As long as we can get off our lazy duffs enough, Bumpkin Industries is liable to become an industry leader in the world of industry. Please walk with us, hand by hand, into the cornucopia that is the future.
In Bumpkin's infinite wisdom, the full range of Bumpkin-inspired paraphernalia with ultimately unfold right before everyone's eyes.
"Hey, schmucko. Did you get a date yet?" Bumpkin asked me.
"No," I had to admit.
"Hey, Lucinda and Sloopy, he's been sending a poop-load of messages to human women on Plenty of Fish, and no one's even responded to any of them."
All 3 groundhog sisters laughed.
"I'll get a date, Bumkpin. You'll see."
"Yeah, right. If I use my superpowers to help you, maybe you could get a date. But without the use of superpowers, forget it buster brown!"
"I don't like the way this is going. Now I'm worried that you'll use your superpowers against me, to keep me from getting a date. I just can't win around here."
"Stop crying, you big baby. You're like over 40 years older than me; grow up already."
"Sorry, Bumpkin. You're right."
"If you want, I could use my powers to get you a date. I can turn women into brain-dead zombies that will obey your every command."
"That sounds nice, Bumpkin, but I'd like to get dates on my own steam."
"Have it your way. It could take years for you to get a date: good luck, buster."
"Thanks Bumpkin."
I also like to get dates on my own steam alone. I don’t get any though. Good luck!
ReplyDelete