Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Dear mama

I'm so disappointed with you. I'm so unlucky to have been stuck with you. You're shit, but you're too delusional to know it.
You don't give a fuck about me: you never have. I'm just a mistake you made. You even literally called me a "mistake" when I was a kid when explaining how I came into this wretched existence. I've just been an obligation, a drag, a killjoy, because you were young, you were 19 when you got pregnant with me. Then dad left when I was 2, so there went your help, you had to raise me on your own, more reasons to resent my existence.
So, because of your actions, you had to work 2 jobs. And when you were done, you frequently went out, because you were a young slut. So this led to me spending a lot of time home alone: not so good for social development.
You got married for the second time to Ken. he moved in. then his son, Mike, moved it, & you really weren't happy about that. Even though he was only 13 (I was too), you treated him very unfairly. You were always mean to him: & Ken too. You physically attacked Ken several times. He had a lot of patience until 1 time he wrestled you to the ground after you attacked him. You screamed at me to call the police. I didn't, but you did. they came to the house & it was humiliating. One time, at dinner, you threw your iced tea at Ken, then you immediately refilled your glass & doused Mike, even though he wasn't a part of the argument. The whole time Mike was there, you behaved like a child having a tantrum. You even made him kneel next to the toilet so you could slam his head against it for leaving the seat up. Eventually, of course, they both left. You're a 2-time loser (divorcee). No wonder I've never "tied the knot."
You smacked my head because you thought I hadn't finished my homework, but I had, & I showed it to you. You cried, apologized, & hugged me. I was thinking, get the fuck off me.
Then I was molested by your Uncle Harry when I was a teen. You knew he liked to go to gay bars, but you made it easy for him. You let him sleep in the same bedroom as me. I woke to him kissing me on the mouth, fondling my crotch, & murmuring about "young flesh." when he saw I woke, he was terrified. he gestured toward the bedroom where you & grandma were sleeping and said, "shh!" at least he stopped molesting me. I didn't say anything about it until after he died. Your reaction was very disappointing. Seems like maybe you didn't believe me. Years later, I'm in your house, & I see a picture of Uncle Harry with his sisters. I confronted you about not only having a picture of a child molester on your bookcase, but the man who had molested YOUR OWN SON, & you waddled your fat ass over to it & put it into a drawer: your body language expressing that I was the 1, not YOU, who was out of line. You're so childish & delusional. despite all evidence, you think you're perfect: typical human.
Years later, my ex was visiting me at your house, & you blamed Mike for your failed 2nd marriage. I really had to bite my tongue because I was there. YOU were responsible for the failure of that marriage: not him. He was a 13-year-old boy who was traumatized by your shit, you delusional liar.
When I was walking to your house (during daytime), 1 of your neighbors interrogated me while his fat ass was seated in his vehicle. he said, "we've had some burglaries. what are you doing here?" he obviously seems to think he has more rights than the police do when it comes to confronting people. You saw this, you attention whore, so you poked your fat ass out the front door. after you realized what the situation was, your neighbor interrogating your son because he was walking down the street, that didn't stop you from having a pleasant conversation with him, you piece of fucking shit.

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