A Letter Written by a Squirrel for Humans

My name is Nutsie.  The bald vegan named me that, because I love nuts.  I really do.  He tried to feed me a piece of carrot.  After sniffing at it for one second, I knew I didn't want it.  Fortunately, he also had a whole walnut for me too.  He gave it to me.  But that silly bald vegan kept trying.  He tossed a piece of broccoli to me.  This time, it took a few seconds of sniffing for me to decide I didn't want it.  Then he tossed a whole almond to me.  Next time, he gave me a slice of cucumber.  Once again, one sniff, and I was done.  He gave another almond to me.  He's silly, but he tries.
Other people aren't as nice as the bald vegan.  I heard they had something in Holley, NY called a "squirrel shoot."  That wasn't nice.  They had all kinds of people shooting at, and killing, squirrels.  I don't understand this.  What did we ever do to you?  We're all so afraid of you.  We know it's your world, and we're just squirrels trying to get a nut.  Some people eat us.  But is it really worth it to kill us for food?  We're so small.  And so many of you are so fat.  The meat of one squirrel can't make much of a dent in those super-sized bellies I've seen.
And please be careful when driving your cars.  So many squirrels have been run over by cars.  If you can avoid us, please do so.  The bald vegan saw someone run right over a squirrel with his or her car.  He or she killed her.  The driver made no attempt whatsoever to avoid running over the squirrel.  There were no pedestrians or other cars around, so the bald vegan thinks the driver should have tried to avoid the squirrel.  People need to be attentive when they're driving.  This person killed the squirrel, kept driving like nothing happened, and parked at a nearby restaurant.  The bald vegan thought about confronting the driver, but he was too sad to do it.  He was more sad than mad.  But if he had been more mad than sad, he might have at least yelled at the driver.  And if the driver messed with him, he might have gotten physical.  You should keep that in your mind.  There are people who are willing to fight for animals.            

Thank Godness for Squirrels and Libraries

Cute Dog

Squirrels and Libraries can save your life.  They can make you so happy.
Today, I fed squirrels.  I had some whole walnuts that I had bought for them.  I saw them out there in the freezing rain.  Their job is to look for food, and they do it 7 days a week: every week.  I distributed several walnuts to my squirrel neighbors today.  At least one of them is very smart.  I came out of my building armed with walnuts.  I saw a squirrel foraging on the grass.  I threw it in front of her.  She saw it immediately and chased and seized it.  That made me laugh.  It gave me a lot of pleasure to help that squirrel.  The fire dept. in Holley, which is near Rochester, NY, had an event last year in which they encouraged people to shoot squirrels.  That disgusted me: especially when I heard that animal rights activists showed up to protest and the hunters goaded them with the bodies of the squirrels they killed.  I knew I couldn't go to that event to protest, because I might have had to beat the shit out of someone who killed a squirrel.
Anyway, the squirrel who grabbed the walnut I tossed to her is smart.  Her back was to me when I threw it to her.  It sailed over her shoulder; then she got it.  However, the next time she saw me, she hopped toward me.  She figured out that I threw that walnut to her, even though she didn't see me do it.  Of course I gave her another walnut.  I had about 8 walnuts, and I distributed all of them to my squirrel neighbors.
I've taken out so many books, movies, and music from libraries that I don't know what I would have done without them.  Good entertainment is very important.  It can save your life.  Sometimes you really need to watch a good comedy and laugh.