Uh

 

It's been a while. I'm still unhappy, depressed, suffering, in pain, miserable, etc. I still love animals (people, not so much). Again, I'm active on Twitter; my account is here: https://twitter.com/TheBaldVegan

This is where my 1st eBook, a memoir, is on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/American-Loser-Memoir-Coming-Achieving-ebook/dp/B00HQSO9RO/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1529065613&sr=1-5&keywords=american+loser

This is where my 2nd eBook, an animal-liberation thriller, is on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Veganman-Started-Liberation-Worlds-Animals-ebook/dp/B00ZSHNT5I/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1529065845&sr=1-1&keywords=veganman&dpID=514D0eG7tML&preST=_SY445_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

This is where my 3rd eBook, a comedic collection, is on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Farts-Literature-featuring-Bald-D-Bag-ebook/dp/B074MCFPVD/ref=sr_1_2?s=digita

I use pen names.


 

Discouraged

When it comes to being creative, I continue to be more active on Twitter than anywhere else, & my account is here: https://twitter.com/TheBaldVegan
My last book continues to be an absolute failure.  No one has bought it.  I'm considering changing the title.  Obviously, I have nothing to lose.  It is here on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Farts-Literature-featuring-Bald-D-Bag-ebook/dp/B074MCFPVD/ref=sr_1_2?s=digita I haven't been working on my next book.  Considering the lack of interest in this one, it seems like a waste of time.
I've been taking Lexapro (an antidepressant) for almost a month now.  I still think that life sucks.  I still wish I'd never been born.  I still think it's selfish and cruel to bring people or animals into this world to suffer, as all sentient beings do.  So it's not working any miracles.  It makes me more wired, more irritable.  It has definitely affected my sleep negatively.  I tend to get up very early, no matter what time I went to bed, and then I can't get back to sleep.
Antidepressants won't cure everything.  As long as lots of animals are suffering to the degree that they are, I will be depressed by it.  Antidepressants won't get me out of my dead-end "career."  I am an "unskilled' worker.  The thought of going back to school to improve my work situation is a daunting one.  We're guaranteed nothing in this dog-eat-dog world.  I could spend a lot of money and time training for a certain job, and then not get hired for it.  I still have to shit, piss, and blow my nose frequently, all of which I hate.  And there's all the other boring, annoying, soul-destroying things that need to be done everyday: like brushing teeth.  I still hate to drive; it's so stressful.  I have to share the road with tons of stupid, careless people, who could ruin my life (even worse than it already is) in a heartbeat by causing me to get into an accident.
So I'm still very much discouraged when it comes to life.  I have very little hope.  I had great hopes for my book that no one has bought.  I still believe in it; I think it's funny.  But, as I've mentioned before, I'm just one of billions of human ants, desperately trying to be heard, and, as always, failing.     

 

Life of Pain

O, mother and father, why did you condemn me to a life of pain?  That was rhetorical.  I'm living a life of pain, because they had pathetic, unprotected teenage sex.  I hope it was worth it.  Now, as a result, I'm living a miserable life and thinking about suicide.
I previously mentioned that death alone is a great reason to not bring someone into this world.  Here's another: pain.  I'm in pain every waking moment.  Currently, I have pain in my buttocks, legs, feet, hips, back, and soul.  The finest biological parents in the world can't protect their sons and daughters from pain.  And there's tons of it to go around. 
I just want to finish the book I'm working on and put it on Amazon.  Then I'll promote it; I probably won't get the result I want, and then it will be a good time to leave this world.  For me, life is punishment.  It is punishing.  I really don't think I deserve the punishment that's clobbering me on a daily basis.   

This is Veganman

Don't judge a book by its cover.

The book I wrote, Veganman, is available here on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZSHNT5I It's available on other countries' Amazon websites too.
This is the description I wrote for Veganman:
There is no book like this one. It is the definitive animal liberation novel. This book informs while it entertains. It’s violent, because it is an attempt to show people how animals are treated by treating humans the same way. This is an expression of vegan and vegetarian anger. Sadly, it’s not any more violent than the way animals are treated by people every single day. This is the rare story that’s more about animals’ happiness than people’s happiness. This is fiction for a reason. It’s fiction from the heart. Numerous ways in which animals are treated cruelly are addressed. This is a strange book. One chapter might contain violence, because it was necessary to liberate the animals. However, the next chapter might be quite different, because it shows how things have improved greatly for the liberated animals. This book is both an animal lover’s dream and an animal abuser’s nightmare. It’s a result of the author’s love for all animals; he is trying to change the world for their benefit. However, you don’t have to be a vegan to enjoy this story. It’s fresh, original, well-written, well-researched, packed with action, and even funny at times.
As a result of becoming aware of animal cruelty, Mike became a vegan. He read books and learned much about the many different ways in which people mistreat animals. Since people don’t need to eat meat, he became convinced that it was wrong to do so. He dedicated himself to helping animals in need: especially those living in horrible conditions under the control of humans. He used the traditional, non-violent methods to try to change hearts and minds about the way we treat animals, but, when that failed, he realized he needed to become the first true animal liberation soldier. He sent a letter to several media organizations that warned people to become vegans or face consequences. Only after he killed his first two victims, a butcher and a fur shop owner, did the media report the existence of the letter. He continued to punish “enemies of animals.” He also attempted to recruit people to join him. Eventually, people did join him, and the Animal Liberation Organization became a force to be reckoned with. Mike, now Veganman, led by blogging. Activist computer experts made sure his blog was virtually invisible to anyone who hadn’t been authorized to see it. Veganman blogged about different sorts of animal cruelty. The purpose of the blog was to help any animals that needed it. He also commanded his soldiers to liberate animals and punish any humans who got in the way. The liberated animals were transported to spacious sanctuaries where they would be taken care of by real animal lovers. The activists turned the tables on people who abused, or paid others to abuse, animals. They needed funding, so he ordered activists to rob people who had made considerable sums of money at the expense of animals. This fortune provided them with the means to fulfill their wildest animal rescue fantasies. What began with one man became a revolution.
Thanks for all the page views.  

Trying to Survive

 
I haven't blogged properly in a while.  Part of the reason is I was working on Veganman, but that's available on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZSHNT5I
Today was a pretty good day, mostly because I met up with my best friend.
But I've been thinking about how I have been rejected throughout my life.  I was rejected by my father when I was 2 years old.  I don't have a job, and I keep getting rejected whenever I look for one.  I've written 2 books, but I haven't yet been able to get them published professionally.  They're self-published on Amazon.  But, even though I worked hard on them, I'm proud of both, not many people have bought them, which is understandable because I'm unknown.    
But how much can a person live a life of rejection?  I don't know how much longer I can deal with society shunning me.  Although I've worked as a writer, I haven't had a regular job for a while.  I think this is the biggest reason why I don't get hired.   So I feel like the odd man out.  I'm beyond  broke; I'm running on empty.  I'm living off of credit cards.  I'm pretty depressed, which is why I've been too depressed to blog.
Life isn't fair.  Some people, just because they were fortunate, never had to deal with problems like these.  Republicans would like us to think that life is fair.
Well, this is a test.  I wouldn't blame anyone for ditching this blog.  I've been too inactive.  If I can get some encouragement (page views or comments), that could spur me on to blog more.  Is anybody out there?     

Please Buy My Book

This is the cover of my book.

There are many thoughts, emotions, and experiences I could express right now, but, first and foremost, I'm asking you to please buy my book.  It's an eBook, and it is readable on Kindle, smartphones, and tablets.  It only costs a few dollars on Amazon, and it's here:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HQSO9RO
I have no job.  I realize that many writers have had to hold down jobs to pay the bills.  The problem is I can't get one.  Even though I am a vegan, I literally became desperate enough to apply to work at McDonald's.  I did not hear back from them: at all.  I have applied for many jobs and received no reply.  I am broke and living off credit cards: going further and further into debt every time I buy necessities like food.  This is not your problem, and I'm not implying that it is.  I put a lot of work into this book, and I believe it is a very interesting and entertaining read.  It is also available on other countries' Amazon websites.  The title is American Loser: A Memoir of not Even Coming Close to Achieving the American Dream, and the author's name is Zach Murphy.
Perhaps one of the points I made in the book is valid.  The book is a memoir, but I'm a bit of a philosopher, so there's some philosophy in there too.  I've gone on quite a bit here (and elsewhere) that I think way too many people have brought way too many other people into this world.  I think 7 and a half billion (or whatever it is now-probably more) people on this planet is way, way, way too much.  Since so many people procreate, it is common, not special, to be a human being.  I believe it should be special to be a human being.  Perhaps there are only a finite number of jobs this world can offer.  Maybe people are just adding to the population in a way that's out of control and irresponsible.  You can accuse me of being a whining crybaby, but you can't accuse me of being a hypocrite when it comes to this issue.  I have never brought a baby, or animal, into this overcrowded world.  I know, that when I apply for a job, I'm probably competing against a lot of other people.  Back to the main point I was making.  I believe in the law of supply and demand.  I think it applies to people as well.  The more people there are, the less each individual is worth.  So many people apply for a job, that the employer can easily pass me over, because there are so many choices.  Because there are so many people in the world, many, like me, become disposable.
An obvious issue is that life simply isn't fair.  Some parents help their sons and daughters greatly to succeed.  They seem to feel as though if their sons and daughters have failed, then they themselves have failed.  They never give up on them.  Others do only the bare minimum when it comes to raising their kids: not really preparing them to survive in the real world at all.  And, unfortunately, far too many people come from abusive and/or incompetent families.  People have obviously been unlucky enough to have a drug-addicted prostitute for a mother.  I've had lots of thoughts about biological parenthood, but a recent one chilled me to the bone.  I simply imagined how many stupid and/or lazy people have brought babies into this world.        

Still Going Strong

One of my favorite albums of all time: Heartwork by Carcass

Our minds can be amazing.  It's funny how people can have so much discipline in one area, and next to zero in another.  Many times, I've heard that this or that is "90% mental."  I think there's a lot of truth to that.  If you're mentally motivated to do something, then you will.  If not, then you won't.  The brain commands the body.
I'm surprised, but I'm doing very well eliminating processed foods and refined sugars from my diet.  I said to myself, at first, this is crazy, it's unrealistic, but I'll give it a try.  It helps that I bought a food processor: a ninja.  I've made my own hummus twice now.  It's come out pretty well.  I ate some today with carrot sticks, which is how I always eat it.  I can buy a pound of chick peas for $1.37.  The cheapest I can buy hummus for around here is $3 a pound.  But then I'm limited to 3 flavors.  I can now make any flavor I want.  The last batch I made was garlic.  I don't care if it gives me bad breath.  I can't help thinking I'd be better off with a cat or dog than a girlfriend.  Now I want to add a hot pepper or 2 and make spicy hummus.   
I can't help plugging the book I wrote, so here it is on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HQSO9RO
I haven't seen many squirrels around here lately.  The last time I went to the store, I bought some more whole walnuts for them, which they love.  It's been bitterly cold around here, and I worry about all the animals who live outside wherever it has been very cold. 

I Wrote a Book

This is the cover of my book.

I recently published a book called American Loser: A Memoir of Not Even Coming Close to Achieving the American Dream on Amazon.com for Kindle.  Although, according to a link on the page where this e-book is sold, Amazon offers a free app that allows smartphone and tablet users to read Kindle books.  Please check it out.  It only costs 3 dollars American.  If you click on the cover photo, it takes you into the beginning of the book, and a good chunk of it can be read for free.  Here is the link to it  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HQSO9RO  That's American Amazon.  Apparently, it's also available on other countries' Amazon websites. 
I've worked very hard on it, and I think it's worth reading.  I believe it's funny and entertaining.  But it also goes to show that not all middle-aged Americans are successful.  In America, there is a very wide gap between the haves and the have nots.  I have been laid off from jobs a number of times.  Aside from when I've had to move to another city, I haven't quit a job in over 20 years.  It was a horrible soul-stealing job in a dreary machine shop.  I don't know how people can work 40 hours a week, every week, drilling the same hole into the same item over and over again.  Anyway, that happened over 20 years ago.
I certainly need the money.  I'm broke.  I'm going deeper into credit card debt.  It's looking like I'll have to take out a cash advance from one of my credit cards in order to pay next month's rent.
By the way, it's a very good thing that I've been eliminating refined sugars and processed foods from my diet.  I highly recommend everyone eats this way.  I feel much better since I haven't been eating pasta, bread, cake, cookies, etc: both physically and when it comes to my mood.  I really believe this is the way we were meant to eat.  Read books about nutrition written by Dr. Joel Fuhrman.
So please check out the book.  My 2 most important philosophies, that I meditate on every single day, are both stated fully and explained there.  I know that I am a loser in this capitalist American society, but I believe that life, any life, is worth more than all the money in the world.  I believe that animals should be protected from violence by the law as much as people are.  I believe, if you want to be a parent, it makes more sense to adopt someone who's already here that needs a home, as opposed to bringing another person into an overcrowded world.