Maybe They Just Don't Care

How appropriate

I like Stephen Colbert, because he's funny enough to make me laugh, but it annoys me that he jumped onto this bandwagon.  He, and other members of the media, have said it's great that New Yorkers didn't let the 10/31/17 terror attack stop them from going on with their plans to dress up for the annual Halloween parade. 
This is something I've touched on before.  When horrible things happen to people and animals (especially animals), life just goes on, because many people only really care about themselves.  The boyfriend of one of my coworkers recently died.  She was out for a week or so; then she returned to work.  What did she come back to?  Coworkers, and customers, smiling and laughing.  Who knows how upset she is, and for how long?  But that's all part of the nightmare of this society.  Something tragic happens in your life, and nearly everyone around you doesn't care.  They just keep smiling and laughing.  Maybe they'll say, oh so sincerely, that they're sorry for your loss, and, once that's over with, they will go right back to smiling and laughing.
If you suffer a horrible loss in your life, turn off the TV, put your phone down, and go into the wilderness.  There you will find the peace and respect you need.  If you go far enough into it, you won't be surrounded by cruel, selfish, money-hungry human jackals. 
Adults dressed up for Halloween the same day that a terrorist killed 8 people and injured at least 11 in the same city.  Do what you want to do.  But should they really be given a pat on the back for doing that?  Perhaps it was just selfish, insensitive, and disrespectful.          

The Week in Wildlife: Life and Death

Baby Phoebe with mama Veronica

This is the week I realized I have new neighbors: baby groundhogs.  Love those groundhogs: especially the babies.  I had been out, and before going up to my home, I figured I'd take a peek at the groundhog hole that's been right next to my building for at least as long as I've been living here: a few years.  I saw some kids plugging up that hole with debris one day last year.  I told them to stop doing that, then I cleared the stuff out so the groundhogs could use it again.  That, and other incidents, have convinced me that I am my (groundhog) brother's keeper.  So I just wanted to make sure the hole was clear.  I peeked around the corner of the building and saw two baby groundhogs poking their little heads out of the hole and looking at me.  What a great surprise.  There are at least four of them, and they are currently the size of little fur balls.  I've taken some photos, but I need to take as many as I can, because they grow up quickly.   
While I was out walking, I saw a police car.  The cop turned the flashing lights and siren on.  Then he or she put the pedal to the metal.  Unfortunately, a sparrow was crossing the road.  If the cop hadn't been accelerating so rapidly; everything probably would have been fine.  But the police car hit the poor sparrow, which threw her violently into the street.  It was a horrible thing for someone like me (a lover of all animals) to witness, and I had a front row seat.  She flapped her wings some, and she managed to get a little bit off the ground, but, ultimately, she faltered.  Within seconds, she was dead.  On the way back, I noticed that she had been squashed completely: probably by a car's tire. 
Maybe I was meant to see that.  My car died this past fall.  I haven't replaced it yet.  One of the good things about that is not being able to hit an animal with my car.  As far as I know, I've never hit an animal with a car I was driving.  As far as I'm concerned, one of the worst things I could do is hit an animal with a car.  I hate seeing road kill.  It's a real shame how us humans have made life so horrible and dangerous for countless animals.  Maybe I'll be able to afford to live in NYC again one day.  You truly don't need a car there, and that's a great thing.        

A Letter Written by a Squirrel for Humans

My name is Nutsie.  The bald vegan named me that, because I love nuts.  I really do.  He tried to feed me a piece of carrot.  After sniffing at it for one second, I knew I didn't want it.  Fortunately, he also had a whole walnut for me too.  He gave it to me.  But that silly bald vegan kept trying.  He tossed a piece of broccoli to me.  This time, it took a few seconds of sniffing for me to decide I didn't want it.  Then he tossed a whole almond to me.  Next time, he gave me a slice of cucumber.  Once again, one sniff, and I was done.  He gave another almond to me.  He's silly, but he tries.
Other people aren't as nice as the bald vegan.  I heard they had something in Holley, NY called a "squirrel shoot."  That wasn't nice.  They had all kinds of people shooting at, and killing, squirrels.  I don't understand this.  What did we ever do to you?  We're all so afraid of you.  We know it's your world, and we're just squirrels trying to get a nut.  Some people eat us.  But is it really worth it to kill us for food?  We're so small.  And so many of you are so fat.  The meat of one squirrel can't make much of a dent in those super-sized bellies I've seen.
And please be careful when driving your cars.  So many squirrels have been run over by cars.  If you can avoid us, please do so.  The bald vegan saw someone run right over a squirrel with his or her car.  He or she killed her.  The driver made no attempt whatsoever to avoid running over the squirrel.  There were no pedestrians or other cars around, so the bald vegan thinks the driver should have tried to avoid the squirrel.  People need to be attentive when they're driving.  This person killed the squirrel, kept driving like nothing happened, and parked at a nearby restaurant.  The bald vegan thought about confronting the driver, but he was too sad to do it.  He was more sad than mad.  But if he had been more mad than sad, he might have at least yelled at the driver.  And if the driver messed with him, he might have gotten physical.  You should keep that in your mind.  There are people who are willing to fight for animals.            

Bumpkin Ate Human Flesh!

This groundhog likes the taste of human flesh.

I came home one fine day.  After saying hi to Bumpkin, Lucinda, and Sloopy, who were watching Groundhog Day again (How many times have they seen it?  I lost count, but it's well over 100 times for sure.), I changed into my pajamas and slippers.  Then I went to the fridge to get some cold water.  I opened the door, and there it was: a human head!  I screamed like a little girl.  I couldn't help it.  Then I heard it: laughter.  Bumpkin, Sloopy, and Lucinda were laughing their little groundhog heads off.  I slammed the fridge door shut and marched to their bedroom.
"What have you done this time, Bumpkin?" I asked.
"Hey, watch your tone, buster!  I'll forgive you this time, because you screaming like that is the funniest thing I ever heard!"  She cracked up laughing, and she was joined by Sloopy and Lucinda.
"It's not funny, Bumpkin.  I assume you killed that guy.  You're going to get us into big trouble."
"The harder they come, the harder they'll fall.  If they want to come after me, they know where to find me.  Anyone seeking vengeance against me will suffer a similar fate."
"Where's the rest of him?"
"We ate him," replied Bumpkin.
"Wow.  How did he taste?"
"Pretty darn good."
"I don't really have a problem with you guys eating human flesh.  After all, people eat all kinds of animals.  Who am I to say that animals shouldn't eat people?  How did this all happen?"
"There was a knock at the door.  I ignored it.  Then I heard the door unlocking and opening."
"Uh-oh," I said.
"As I was saying, I heard someone come into the apartment.  So I came out to investigate.  This guy was standing there.  He just stared at me like a big dummy.  I knew I had to snuff him, but I didn't want to make a mess in the apartment."
"Thank you."
"So I used my powers to open the window and screen.  I tossed him outside the window, and kept him suspended in midair.  Then I separated his head from his body.  I let the blood drain out of his head, then I put it in the fridge as a joke for you to find."
"Good one.  You got me."
"Obviously.  Then I burned his clothes off with a fireball.  And then I cooked him with another fireball at 400 degrees for about an hour.  He was delicious."
"Excuse me for a moment please," I said to the sisters.  I walked back into the kitchen and opened the fridge.  Sure enough, I recognized the man.  He was one of the maintenance workers at the apartment complex.  Poor bastard.  He was just trying to do his job.

Snow!

Winter wonderland

Nemo dumped a lot of snow on Rochester over the past couple of days.  It's a winter wonderland!  Even better, my guests have never seen snow before.  Bumpkin used her superpowers to levitate herself, so she could look out the window at the falling snow.  Lucinda looked at me and made lots of whiny noises. 
"What does she want, Bumpkin?"
"She wants you to pick her up so she can look out the window."
"It would be my pleasure."  I bent down to pick her up, and she opened her front legs wide with anticipation.  I picked her up and held her close to me.  Lucinda looked out the window and squealed with delight.  I felt something tugging at my left pajama pants' leg.  I looked down and saw Sloopy looking at me with her front legs open wide.
"Bumpkin, I think Sloopy wants to look out of the window too.  Could you give her a boost?"
"But of course."  Just like that, Bumpkin used her powers to levitate Sloopy so she could see the snow.  Sloopy squealed delightedly.
"That's enough looking.  Let's go outside!"  Bumpkin said.  That led to the loudest squeals I ever heard Sloopy and Lucinda emit.  I began to get bundled up for the cold weather.
"I don't have any clothes that would fit you guys, but I do have some extra hats.  You're welcome to wear them."
"We will wear the hats," said Bumpkin.  I got them out and tossed them onto the floor.  Bumpkin chose a black knit hat, Sloopy selected a blue one, and Lucinda grabbed a multi-colored hat.  They put them on.  They looked so cute, but their heads are so much smaller than mine.  The hats covered their entire heads and then some.  Lucinda and Sloopy began to whine, because they couldn't see.  Bumpkin immediately used her powers to make holes in the hats for their eyes and mouths.  Lucinda and Sloopy cheered. 
"Let's go!" said Bumpkin.  I opened the door for them, and my groundhog friends exited the apartment.  It was beautiful outside.  All 3 sisters began to run around in the snow.  I made a snowball and tossed it playfully at Lucinda.  I missed.
"Hey!  What the freak do you think you're doing, buster?  I would think you'd know better by now than to attack one of my sisters!"
"Whoa!  Hold on a second, Bumpkin!  Before you eradicate me with one of your fireballs of destruction, please let me say something."
"I'm listening.  This better be good, buster."
"Sometimes, when it snows, friends throw snowballs at each other.  It's just for fun; it's not attacking."
"OK.  I forgive you."
"Thank you, Miss Bumpkin."  I noticed that many snowballs were rising out of the snow on the ground.  I had a feeling about what was going to happen next.  Sure enough, I was pelted with over 100 snowballs at once.  I was knocked down immediately.  They continued to hit me while I was down.  It was like an avalanche.  I soon was completely covered with snow.  I couldn't breathe.  My life flashed before my eyes. 
When I came to, I was in my bed. 
"Sleeping beauty has awoken," said Bumpkin.  "Here, have some of this."  A mug floated toward me and I grabbed the handle.  The aroma emanating from it was quite familiar to me: hot chocolate.  I took a sip.
"Delicious cocoa, Bumpkin.  Thank you."
"It's the least I could do.  I killed you: by accident.  No harm done though.  Obviously, I brought you back to life."
"Wow.  Thanks for bringing me back to life Bumpkin."
"What are friends for?"

Bumpkin Hit China!

Spring isn't that far away.

Bumpkin has struck her first international blow by striking an area inside the country of China with a long-range, super-sized fireball!  Oh, you won't see it on the news.  After all, the Chinese officials haven't even told their own citizens about it, because the\y have no idea how it happened.
Mistress Bumpkin was watching a documentary about the horrible treatment of animals by people.  She saw that many Chinese citizens had a record of treating animals very poorly.  Once she'd seen enough, she unlocked my door, and opened it with her superpowers.  She did not use her superpowers to hop down the steps; it was so cute.  However, she was on her way to killing more people than she had ever done over the course of a single day.  General Bumpkinismo killed 34 people, and wounded dozens more, with a single fireball, that was launched from my apartment buildings' grounds in Rochester, NY.
Unless she's been practicing behind my back, that's, by far, the largest fireball she's ever flung from her left front paw.
"Wow, Bumpkin," I said.  "I don't know what to say.  The good, ole u s of a is a direct competitor with China.  Yet, you killed a lot of people, which, depending on the people killed, might be a bad thing."
"It is done as my will requested," retorted Bumpkin.  "I'm thinking about hitting Japan next with one of those babies."
"Just not Tokyo, please, Bumpkin.   Also, not Hiroshima or Nagasaki.  It wouldn't be right," I said.
"Don't try to give me a history lesson, buster brown!  I know all about that stuff!  Jeepers!  Look at World War II and the Holocaust.  How could Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini been allowed to do so much damage to the world!  Humans have had their chance.  It's time for the groundhogs to have their shot.  Well, really just me.  I'll have to take on the world's humans by myself, all the other groundhogs can do is give me moral support, which is a good thing to have, especially the support I get from my 2 sisters: Sloopy and Lucinda," said Bumpkin.  "Their support will give me what I need to be victorious against the human folk.  And victorious I shall be, by the hammers of Nutsie and Cleopatra (groundhog gods)," said Bumpkin.
"Wow, Bumpkin," I said.  "Is that the largest fireball you'll ever be able to toss?" I asked.
"No."
Sometimes, she's rather outgoing and articulate, other times, she just says what needs to be said : nothing more.