Pets

my ex-girlfriend's dog

I have mentioned the benefits of writing here.  It helps one remember things.  One can thoroughly explore an issue and save that information for posterity.  For instance, while I was drinking and smoking weed, I began, and added, to a document on my computer called "STOP DRINKING AND SMOKING," which listed reasons why I should do that, and now I've been clean and sober since 7/31/16. 
The question of whether to get a pet or not is very complicated for me.  The first thing that comes to mind is they make me happy.  I love all animals, but especially dogs.  I love cats too, but I have had less experience with them.  Some of my happiest memories involve playing ball with my ex-girlfriend's dog.  She loves playing ball so much.  She has so much fun, it's inevitable that whoever's playing with her will have fun too.  I am alone.  I am untouched.  Touching is important.  Companionship is important.  Petting a pet is therapeutic.  Pets can extend your life, because they improve the quality of it.
But there are drawbacks.  I hate the thought of a pet being alone while his or her mom or dad is at work for over 8, 9, etc. hours.  What if a fire started, and the pet couldn't escape?  That would destroy me.  There's also a loss of freedom involved.  My ex-girlfriend adopted a dog, Barney, while we were living together, who became the love of my life.  He's gone now, but I still love him more than anyone, human or animal, I have ever known.  But, whenever I was using my computer, I'd feel guilty, cause I was ignoring him.  I don't think he understood it.  He may have thought, "Why are you staring at that thing when you could be petting me?"  And that's a good question.  However, I feel a need to get on the computer and write.  There are also issues with traveling.  Dogs need to be walked: even when one doesn't feel like it (shitty weather).   
Then there's the vegan question.  I haven't spent money on meat, milk, or eggs since 2002.  Can I have a vegan dog or cat?  Someone tweeted a picture of their 10-year-old vegan dog, and he looked healthy and happy.  I don't want to support the slaughterhouse in any way, shape, or form, even if the food is for a pet. 
I recently mentioned Lyme disease.  Can you really keep ticks off a dog or cat?  If not, they could transfer a Lyme-disease-ridden tick to me.  Of course it would be horrible if the pet got Lyme disease.  Knowing what I do about the disease, I am terrified of it.  Anyone who is at risk should be too.
The added expense is also an issue.  As I've previously mentioned, I don't make a lot of money, and, as a result, I'm frugal.  However, I definitely believe pets are more than worth any money you spend on them.  One of the biggest problems with society is money being more important than life, which is horrible.
Not being able to communicate can be frustrating.  Your pet could be in pain, and you might not know it.  Is my pet suffering or not?  The worry, and the uncertainty, could be frustrating and devastating.
Pets can get on one's nerves (again, usually because of communication issues).  A lot of things get on my nerves.  Adding to that list might not be such a great idea.
I've mentioned my OCD, and issues I have with poop.  This is where I favor cats.  I think they lick their own assholes, which is gross, but at least they have clean assholes.  I think a poopy dog ass would bother me quite a bit.  Would it be fair to a dog to expose him or her to my disorder?
When you get a pet, you are making a commitment to take care of him or her for the rest of his or her life (or your life).  That is what I believe.  That's quite a commitment to make, and I haven't made it before.  My ex-girlfriend adopted Barney against my wishes.  I didn't want to have to walk a dog, and pick up shit, regularly.  Regardless, I never once suggested that she get rid of him.
I hate the fact that people have pets that ever get to go outside; I consider them to be "cute prisoners."  I could go on for quite a while about this, but I certainly disagree with making an animal spend most of his or her time in a tiny space.  I strongly disagree with keeping fish in tanks and birds in cages.  It's just plain cruel to not allow a bird to fly and be free.  Therefore, if I had a cat, I would take him or her outside.  I can picture the looks of contempt people would give me.  "You don't walk a cat," is what they'd likely be thinking.  Fuck them, and fuck being "normal!" 
Of course, life is fragile, and I could die at any time: making my pet an orphan.  My pet could even die of hunger or thirst if he or she wasn't rescued in time.  I could become paralyzed from a car accident, or stroke, and therefore unable to take care of him or her anymore. 
Which brings us to the most important reason why I wouldn't get a pet.  If I had a pet, I believe I would not allow myself to commit suicide.  It wouldn't be fair to him or her.  I need to have the freedom to do that at anytime.  I have no kids, pets, wife, girlfriend, or friends, which means, as far as I'm concerned, I'm good to go.  I'm allowed to kill myself.  I am now back on antidepressants as of a few days now.  But knowing that I can kill myself at anytime, and escape from this hellhole, gives me a certain amount of peace that I don't want to relinquish.
   

Always Bet on Violence

sweet, little, vulnerable groundhog

There are so many things I could be, should be, doing.  But a hawk's cries reminded me that I have wanted to write this for a while now.  A bunch of small birds were chasing a beautiful hawk.  I've seen this sort of thing plenty of times.  The first time I saw it, it didn't make much sense to me.  Why would a small bird chase a much larger one?  Why would the larger bird allow the smaller one to pursue him or her?  The answers are what they are.  I have my theories, but they're not important.  The point is violence is the way of this world.
This world has probably always been violent.  Perhaps it should be called "violence" instead of "earth."  This animal kills and eats that one, and that one kills and eats this one.  It's just the way things are.  Of course, humans have taken violence to a new level.  It's only natural that the most "evolved" species would be the most violent.  We have used our "intelligence" to make guns, biological weapons, nuclear warheads, and many other evil, deadly, and destructive weapons.  Don't have a weapon, but you want to kill and injure?  No problem.  All you need is a car or a truck, as we have seen in France, England, and, most recently, in Charlottesville, VA.  At his point, is anyone really surprised when a terrorist attack occurs?  Or a mass shooting in America?  No, this is the norm.  
Yesterday, I saw a dead turtle on a road.  I think it was a snapping turtle.  It was lying in a pool of blood.  Strangely, it had crawled away from a park, with ponds, toward a highway.  He or she was killed shortly after crawling onto the service road: sad, frustrating, and depressing.
I heard a dog barking, and I went to a window to see what was happening.  There are no pets allowed in my apt complex, but an annoying woman here has a dachshund.  She allows the dog to run around off-leash.  Then, when she's trying to find the dog, she calls out her name in an incredibly nasally voice.  It's horrible to hear.  So I went to the window, and saw, to my dismay, that the dog was barking at a groundhog.  She was very close to the groundhog.  She must have snuck up on her before she had a chance to run away.  The dog kept barking and circling the poor groundhog, who must have been scared to death.  The groundhog kept turning to face the dog.  The groundhog displayed no aggression whatsoever.  What could I do?  I yelled "Stop it!" as loud as I could at least a couple of times.  One of those times, the dog stopped barking and looked to see who said that.  I wished the groundhog would have taken the opportunity to run away from the dog, but she didn't.  Finally, the stupid woman called out the dog's name once again, which distracted the dog for real, and the groundhog made a run for it.  The dog chased her, and tried to bite her.  I don't know if the groundhog was bitten.  It's quite possible she was.  If this stupid woman had the dog on a leash, like she should, then that wouldn't have happened.  Once again, I'm in a quandary.  Do I tell the office about the woman with the dog?  What if her response would be to get rid of the dog?  That would be horrible.  I hate it when people get rid of their pets.  It can be so traumatic for the animals.  But, because of this stupid woman, this dog is free to terrorize little animals around here.  It's another no-win situation.  And that's life: a no-win situation.             
 

Life Is

Life is a dove perched alone on a wire under a cold heavy rain (Which I saw today but didn't take a photo, because my cheap phone can't do that, and my digital camera isn't charged.).

Pain & Suffering

I've accepted that life will bring pain & suffering every day.  Every day DOES bring pain and suffering.  The pain is physical, mental, and emotional.  The suffering is mental and emotional.
But it's nothing compared to what animals have to endure because of selfish people.  At work, I have to deal with so many people buying deadly mousetraps and other animal killers.  I want to say something to them, but I don't want to risk losing my job.  I'm trying to live.  Without a job, suicide is more of a possibility.  I want to suggest they use humane methods to trap and release them: unharmed.  If I ever stop giving a fuck altogether, which is a distinct possibility, I might say things like that.  They even buy gopher poison.  I don't know if there are gophers around here, or if they're just targeting my beloved groundhogs.  I'm not in favor of killing either, but it really saddens me to think that people want to kill groundhogs.  They are so cute.
I'm also forced to see a sea of leather.  Some sickos are turned on by leather.  It's dead cow skin.  Cows are peaceful vegetarians.  It's disgraceful, and caveman-like, to wear leather.
At a department store I worked at during the X-mas season, I heard and saw a real cretin in the break room.  She was hideously ugly: inside and out.  She was talking about some sort of family gathering.  "We had 2 things of meatballs, which I didn't need!  I also had sausage."  She told some story about kids who were allowed to shoot birds, which is disgusting and despicable.  She thought it was funny,  In fact, she said a pastor was fine with it: killing for fun.  There's religion for you; people matter (because they put money in the collection plate) and animals don't.  She said she sent a thank you card to the family that contained the bird killers that had a picture of birds on it, and she thought it was hilarious.  Apparently, the father of these kiddie killers got pissed off when squirrels stored nuts in his boat.  She mentioned that, in the card, she wrote that the kids should shoot squirrels instead, and she thought this was very funny.  Hey bitch, animals are cute, and you look and sound like a walking, talking pile of shit.  Fuck you.          

Not Such a Bad Day (So Far)

I've decided to file for bankruptcy.  I didn't really have a choice.  I can't pay my expenses and my minimum monthly credit card payments on what I earn.  It occurred to me what a loser I am.  When a local legal aid society said they would represent me for less than most lawyers probably would, it sort of made my day.  Successful people's days are made when they make loads of money.  Today, I got another boost.  The legal society sent lots of papers for me to fill out.  I did as soon as I received them.  I worked a full day, then filled these papers out for at least 4 hours.  With all the questions about what I own, I became a little paranoid.  Are they gonna take my CDs?  Are they gonna take my car?  I called the legal office, and they said I wouldn't lose them. I had a bunch of questions, and I liked the answers to most of them.
Having a job gives me purpose.  I'd still rather be dead than alive, but, in a weird and stupid way, I'd feel guilty about killing myself, because I wouldn't be able to show up for work.  I'd be letting people down (that are depending on me).
Twice now, I've seen shows about people killing others by poisoning them with antifreeze, which I've contemplated doing to myself.  It seems like a gradual process: not a one-day thing.  One of these poisoners said that you can kill someone in 10 days with antifreeze poisoning.  Since I have a job, it seems like a bad idea to do that to myself.  I wouldn't want to get really sick, or fall, at work, cause then I'd probably get rushed to the hospital and maybe get "saved," which would defeat its own purpose.  Apparently, if you get saved from it, you could be left with brain damage.  Life is already hard enough without that.
They tried to deal with the birds-trapped-in-the-store situation I mentioned previously.  After the store closed for the evening, they set up nets.  Then a hawk was released.  The hawk herded the birds into the nets.  That's all I heard about it.  I hope the birds were released: unharmed.  At any rate, once again, there are plenty of birds in the store.  These poor birds are trapped there without water.  It just goes to show how humans dominate and harm animals even when they don't intend to do so.       

Work

It's so surreal to transition from unemployment to working full time.  There are times when I'm just standing there:waiting to service customers (I'm a cashier.).  Oh well, I'm miserable when I'm home; I'm miserable when I'm there.  At least there I'm earning money and socializing to a degree.
I've noticed certain things at work.  There are birds in the store.  I had seen this sort of thing before at Wal-Mart.  Birds come into the store.  Then what?  I think, in most cases, it's over for them.  Their chances of escape don't seem to be very good.  I think they would most likely die of thirst or hunger.  It's so sad to hear them calling out to their friends or family.
Someone bought a large poster.  It was a drawing of someone holding bacon in their fist, and the caption said, "bacon power."  It's obviously supposed to be funny.  It isn't funny at all.  Bacon is the result of the murder, and, most likely, cruel confinement of pigs.  It disgusts me that people are so callous that bacon has become a funny thing to them.
In the break room, I overheard someone casually saying that someone was going to get rid of their dog because they were worried about their baby.  That sort of shit is so typical.  Get a dog, then get rid of the dog because you're worried he or she might hurt your child.  Animals aren't things to be returned to the store.  Many dogs have been devastated when they've been rejected by (what they thought were) their families.  They often go from a house to a cage in a shelter: dog prison.  But they haven't committed any crimes.  Hey assholes, have some foresight.  Don't get a dog if you're just going to get rid of him or her once you have a kid.    
A lot of old folks come into the store where I work.  It's horrible to see what old age does to people.  It beats them down.  Some of these people are barely standing: let alone functioning.  They are walking dead.  They are nearly complete messes.  I hope I die before I get old(er).
And, ultimately, as usual, I ask myself, why shouldn't I throw my tired old broken, pain-ridden body off a bridge? 

A Letter from a Parakeet to Her Human Warden

How would you like to live like this?

Why do you keep me in this cage?  I don't understand you.  You tell me you love me.  I don't believe you.  I don't believe you at all.  You say you love your kids too, but you don't imprison them in cages.  You say you love your husband, but he doesn't have to live in a cage.  Why me?  What did I ever do to you?  I've never hurt any person or animal.  I've never stolen anything.  I've never robbed a bank.  I'm not a terrorist.  I don't understand why I'm locked in this cage.
Are you jealous of me?  Are you jealous of my ability to fly?  Is this your response to that jealousy?  To imprison me in a cage so I can't fly?  It's not my fault I can fly.  I was born to have this advantage.  And I guess you were born to have the ability to take it away from me.
I want to be free.  I want to fly.  I want out of this cage.  If you really loved me, you wouldn't keep me in this cage.  Polly want a cracker?  No.  Polly wants to be free: free to spread her wings and fly.

The Bald Vegan adds-"If you have a pet bird, that bird is dependent on you.  Perhaps he or she has spent his or her entire life being dependent on humans to be fed.  So, if by some miracle, what you've read here has moved you, and you want to free your pet bird, that might not be the right thing to do.  On the other hand, it might be the right thing to do.  You should do some research into the matter before setting the bird(s) free: to see if it's the right thing to do.  Find out how they would fare in the wild before doing it.  Please don't buy any more birds that you'll imprison in cages.  You know you wouldn't want to live that way, so why force an animal to live like that?  Sting sang, 'If you love somebody, set them free.'  If, after doing ample research, you've determined that your bird inmates would thrive in the wild, then set them free.  Ideally, you'd leave the cage by an open window, with the cage door open, so the bird can make his or her own choice whether to remain  free or return."     

Where's Penny?

Lucinda

I haven't seen any groundhogs for at least a few days: maybe even a week.  I hope Penny is okay.  I miss seeing her.  Maybe she went with an early hibernation.  I've read that groundhogs start hibernating after the first frost, which I'm pretty sure hasn't happened here yet.
It always cheers me up to see groundhogs.  A day without groundhogs is like a day without sunshine.  They make my life better.
At least I've still got the squirrels.  I like them too.  I've been thinking about feeding them again.  I haven't done it in a while.  I've seen the food that some of my neighbors have left out for birds and squirrels: stuff like white bread, white rice, and even Pringles.  I wouldn't give them processed foods like that.  I'd only give them pure, unsalted nuts: preferably still in the shell.  It's fun to toss a whole walnut to a squirrel and see her seize it between her paws.
Some people think people shouldn't feed wild animals.  We shouldn't make them dependent on us, but I think the occasional, healthy, whole walnut would make a nice treat for them.
Well, there's not much more to say.  Think of animals as your brothers and sisters.  Treat them well.  Don't eat them.   

I Love Penny

Got your back.

I finally named her.  She may be the last groundhog left in this immediate area.  There might be another, but she rules the territory around my windows.  It is possible that she has chased all her sisters and her mother away.  She has claimed the hole she grew up in as her own.  The hole is right next to the building I live in.  The first groundhog I ever named, Sheila, used to live in this hole.  Anyway, her name is Penny.  I think it fits her well.  She's very cute, but, then again, the vast majority of them are.  She's been frightened a little too much lately.
The birds were driving me crazy.  Whoever designed the kitchen fans in these buildings is a real dummy.  Birds seem to think they make perfect bird houses.  Since I love animals, I put up with them for the longest time.  Thump!  That's the sound of a bird landing behind the kitchen fan.  You could hear that several more times than you would ever want to in any given day.  Chirp, chirp, chirp!  Birds make so much noise.  Especially baby birds, who are probably saying "Feed me!" most of the time.  I'd finally had enough.  They made so much noise on a daily basis; they were driving me nuts.  I began to try to scare them away.  They'd make their noise, then I would go over to the fan and tap hard on the outside of it: hoping it would scare them away.  It was just a temporary solution, though.  They always came back.  I called the office about it.  The office manager said they can put a cover on it, but they don't like to, because the fan keeps the units from getting too smoky.
I said, "I don't care about that; these birds are driving me crazy!"  Besides, I don't fry, or burn, anything.  I bake potatoes, boil pasta, and so on.  I never do any smoky cooking.  So they put the cover on.  Things were fine for months, but I recently heard the birds again.  I went outside to look, and, sure enough, the cover came off and was hanging open on one side.  But when I went outside to look, I scared Penny.  She had been grazing, and she ran into her hole when she saw or heard me.  So I called the office again and asked them to put the cover back on.  But the next day, I kept hearing the birds.  Since I saw one of the maintenance guys spraying freakin' bushes, instead of covering my fan, I called the office again to say that no one had done it.  I was told it would be done that day.  I went for a walk.  When I returned, I checked to see if the fan had been covered.  Poor Penny, I scared her again.  She dove into her hole.  But then she stuck her head out to look around: very cute.  Finally, the fan was covered.  And no birds were trapped inside.  There were none in there at the time; I checked.  

I Got Time to Blog

Groundhog.

It was so smart of me to mention the standup comedy contest.  I just failed to advance to the finals.  But it was only my second time doing it, and it went much better than the first time.  It was a good crowd, though.  I was lucky to perform in front of a house that was nearly full.
I've previously mentioned here that I've seen nasty birds pecking at, and, I assumed, bullying groundhogs.  But I recently saw something quite strange.  A bird went so far as to jump onto the back of a groundhog, who seemed to do nothing to get the rider off of her.  The bird pecked at the groundhog, and I couldn't help wondering if the purpose of the pecking is to remove bugs from the groundhog's fur.  After all, as cute as they look, I don't know how clean they are.  They live outside: mostly underground, so I suppose they have to deal with their share of parasitic bugs.
I'm so happy to have met a very nice vegan woman.  We had a date, and it went very well.  It's more important that someone I'm dating be vegan or vegetarian than anything else.  It doesn't hurt that she's very pretty with a great smile.  I'm so glad she let me cuddle with her.  For those that don't know, touching, even non-sexual, is so incredibly beneficial to those being touched.  Massage, for instance, can do a world of good to someone.  It can help heal physical ailments.
Once again, I felt the need to intervene on behalf of my beloved groundhogs.  I heard kids talking around the area where the groundhog home is.  I looked out the window, and a kid was trying to fill the hole they live in with debris.
"Stop doing that," I said out the window.
The 2 kids looked up at me.  "Why?"  one of them asked defiantly.
"Cause there are animals living in there," I replied.
"Do they bite?" the kid asked.
I did not answer that.  I should have.  They certainly bite each other; that's for sure.
This kid did something strange.  He proudly pulled a $10 bill from his pocket and showed it to me.  "I'll give you $10 if I can fill this hole," he said with all kinds of braggadocio, as though $10, in his world, equaled a million dollars.
I declined his offer, and eventually, they left.  I went out there to clear whatever he had put in the hole.  The branch was the easy part, but he also had thrown a rock down there that I wasn't able to reach: even with my baseball bat.  But I was overjoyed to see that, later, the groundhogs had gone out anyway.  That rock hadn't stopped them, and that was the important thing.  

Groundhog Chronicles

A young groundhog

I've seen some strange stuff in the groundhog world lately.  Unfortunately, the mother groundhog chased one of her kids around.  It might be real aggressive behavior, but I've seen the same thing, a generation ago, when Sheila attacked Sloopy.  Then I saw a bird perched on a groundhog's back for possibly close to a minute.  I can't stand mean birds stalking groundhogs.  Birds love to attack cute little groundhogs, and they're too loud, they need to get their act together.  I have, in the past, assumed the birds were just bullying the groundhogs.  But it seems possible that the birds are eating bugs/parasites off of the groundhogs.
Another strange thing I saw was the mother doing a little maintenance on the family hole in the ground.  I saw her digging dirt out of the hole.  She also seemed to go under the bush where I hid all the rocks and glass, so people wouldn't throw them at groundhogs, and she dragged most of it out to put around the hole/home.  I think she's trying to protect their home, but she doesn't realize she's setting up bullies with things to throw at her and her kids.  It's a shame.  It's a shame she's setting them up, but more so for those who would take the bait.
Attacked by humans twice, that I know of, the groundhogs continue to flourish.  After all, they have my protection.  I'd gladly lay my life down for any one of the 6 groundhogs living around here.  They are great. I saw a couple of youngsters wrestling the other day.  They are so cute.  I watched them carefully.  I didn't want to see one dominating the other for sure.  What I was glad to see if that both of the groundhog wrestlers went on to their backs, the submission position, which, to me, meant that one wasn't dominating the other.  Maybe they love each other and are playing for fun.   They are so freakin' cute.  They get scared of lots of things.  Lots of noises and such, it sends them running to a bush near the building to hide.  I fully love all the groundhogs in the world.  I challenege you to treat animals as well as you can.  They live under our thumb, and we don't treat them well.  Things need to change.  Become vegetarian, it's easy, or vegan.

They're Back!

Brand new baby groundhog: spring of 2013.

"Will you cut it out already?" I said to the sparrow perched on the telephone line.  She had been chirping the same way over and over and over again.  It's amazing how loud a tiny bird can be.  It's also amazing how annoying they can be.  She just kept on chirping.
"Enough!"  I yelled out the window at her.  I think she heard me, but still she chirped continuously.  This time, I went right up to the window and screamed at her.  She just kept chirping.
"What the heck is going on over there?"  yelled Bumpkin from the bedroom.  "We're trying to watch Groundhog Day here!"
"I'm sorry, Bumpkin," I replied.  "But this bird is driving me nuts!"
Suddenly, the screen slid open, and one of Bumpkin's fireballs of destruction zoomed past me and out the window.  It hit the sparrow and exploded.  The bird had been disintegrated completely.
"Thanks Bumpkin," I said.  Now that that bird was gone, I could hear all the other birds chirping and singing.  One of them was singing a sort of intricate tune.  The problem was it was a very short tune, and she just kept repeating it endlessly.
"Shut up!"  I yelled out the window.  That had no effect whatsoever.
"Hey buster, I told you we're trying to watch a movie in here!" said Bumpkin.
"I'm sorry, but these birds are driving me crazy with all the noise they make.  They never stop; they just keep chirping and singing, chirping and singing till infinity!"
"Do you want me to kill 'em all?" asked Bumpkin.
"No, I guess not," I said.  "Can you think of any other solutions?" I asked.  I immediately noticed that the case that holds my ear plugs opened up.  The ear plugs flew across the room toward me.  Then they gently lodged themselves into my ear canals.
"Thanks Bumpkin, but I was listening to music.  I can't hear the birds now, but I also can't hear the music."
"Shush!"  yelled Bumpkin.  "You always do this when your ear plugs are in.  Your voice gets way too loud!"
I took them out of my ears.  "Sorry Bumpkin, but it seems like there's just no solution to this problem.  Do you think you could ask them to be quiet?"
"I can try, but their bird brains might be too small to properly receive my telepathic request."
"I'd be most grateful if you could give it a shot, Mistress Bumpkin."
"If I do, will you quit your whining?"
"I promise."
"Okay, here it goes."
The birds continued to chirp and sing.
"Did you do it?" I asked.
"Yes, I did it.  I told you I didn't think it would work.  Now will you quit your complaining?"
"Yes, ma'am."  You can't win with these birds.  They're cute, but they're way too noisy.    

Let's Fight Bullying

I won't let them bully you Lucinda.

I did it again.  Yesterday, I looked out the window and saw Sloopy eating grass.  I also couldn't help noticing that there were many birds all around her.  I don't know exactly what kind of birds they are.  I've previously referred to them as black birds, but I doubt that's really accurate.  They're not black; they're multicolored, but mostly brown.  It's easier to list what they're not.  They're not crows, ravens, robins, sparrows, cardinals, doves, hawks, falcons, or eagles.  They are aggressive.  They attack each other.  One had something in her beak, and was trying to enjoy it, but the other brown birds kept chasing her wherever she went.
Anyway, because these brown birds were surrounding sweet Sloopy, I decided to watch for a little while.  It didn't take long for one of them to approach Sloppy from behind.  I didn't like the looks of it.  Sure enough, the bird started by pecking her tail.  I was ready to go, but I held off a bit.  I wasn't sure if Sloopy could feel her tail being pecked.  Soon after, the bird pecked her in the butt.  That's it!  "Leave her alone!" I yelled out the open window  Sloopy ran for cover and several birds flew away.  I regret that when I do this, I frighten the groundhogs I'm trying to protect, but at least it puts a temporary end to the bullying.  Until I come up with a better idea, it will have to do.
I was bullied when I was a kid.  It was so bad, that I may never forget it.  I don't remember anyone stepping in to help me.  I would have appreciated it.  This is a violent and cruel world; it always has been.  I encourage you to try to end bullying when you see it.  You'll feel better if you do.  Years ago, I was in Central Park, and I saw some kids throwing rocks at some ducks in a pond.  I wanted to tell them to stop doing it, but I was afraid.  I was thinking that one or more parents of these kids might become irate if I tried to tell their kid what to do.  I regret being a coward in that situation.  There would have been nothing wrong with me telling those kids to stop throwing rocks at the ducks.  They had no business doing that.  The ducks didn't deserve to be attacked like that.  Sometimes, there really is a right and a wrong in a given situation.  The kids were in the wrong, and they needed someone to tell them that.  I was in the wrong for not doing anything about it.  I hate fear.  I'm always trying to overcome it.  "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."  FDR said that, and it's one of the quotes that I agree with the most.
I'm not suggesting becoming a vigilante, like Batman, to fight bullying.  I'm just suggesting that we speak up and stand up for what is right and against what is wrong.  Calmly and politely asking someone to stop bullying an animal or another person would probably get the best result.  Even if it doesn't end the bullying, at least you took a stand and tried to stop something that shouldn't be happening.  At least it probably gave the bully some food for thought.  He or she will probably realize to some degree that he or she can't necessarily bully with impunity.   Of course, if a situation is out of control, and a person or an animal is being beaten mercilessly, and verbal attempts to stop the abuse haven't worked, then the abuser might need to hear a warning.  And if he or she doesn't heed that warning, then it might be time to take action to protect a person or an animal who needs it.  I'd rather be the person that took action than the guy who watched a man stab a woman to death.    

Lucinda

Lucinda as a baby.  What a furball!

I love Lucinda.  She is a beautiful groundhog.  As I mentioned before, she's put on a lot of weight.  But she was even chubby as a baby.  She gets around via the cutest waddle I've ever seen.  She, perhaps due to her heavyweight status, also seems to be the most fearless groundhog I've ever seen.  One of my (human) neighbors left his building while she was grazing just outside of it.  Usually, a groundhog in this situation will run for his or her life: not Lucinda.  She stood her ground while keeping an eye on the human.  Once he walked away, she went back to stuffing her face with grass and weeds.   One day I was walking to my car.  I noticed that Lucinda was standing right next to the sidewalk.  I couldn't believe how close she let me get to her before she started to waddle away.
I put my plan into action.  I saw a bird pecking a groundhog, so I shouted "Leave her alone!" to the bullying bird.  As a result, all the birds in the immediate area took wing, and the groundhog ran for the cover of a nearby bush.  She came out again shortly afterward to graze again.  The birds also returned.  She was pecked by a bird again.  It made me so angry.  "Leave her alone, you goddamn bird!" is what I yelled that time.  Once again, the groundhog ran away.  The plan basically worked.  Both times, it put an end (temporarily) to the bullying.  I suppose I'll do it again if I witness any more of it.  Bullying, whether it's human against human, human against animal, or animal against animal, should be stopped.  By the way, I wouldn't interfere with the natural order of things.  I understand there are predators and prey and they are all a part of the food chain.  I think it's clear that some animals were meant to survive off the flesh of other animals.  The birds don't eat groundhogs, that's a ridiculous thought, they really are pretty much just bullying them.  Not if I see it though.
Birds are crazy though.  I heard a sound, so I went over to whence it came from: a window.  I realized that a sparrow was pecking on the window screen while another one looked on: craziness.  When I walked right up to the window, they both took off.  She made a hole in the screen.  I sure hope no money gets taken out of my security deposit for that.  What the hell was she doing?  Did she want to move into my apartment?  Put a tent on this freaking circus. 

Bumpkin's Vengeance

It's not a very good idea to bully Bumpkin or her family.

It finally happened.  Bumpkin found out about birds bullying her mother and sisters.  Let's just say it's gotten a lot quieter around here.  The chirping had been out of control.  The birds seemed to be in charge, and they never let any of us forget it.  They chirped all the time: and loudly.
Bumpkin climbed out of the family hole with revenge on her mind.  The birds, like me, have trouble telling the 3 groundhog sisters apart.  Well, 2 of them anyway.  Lucinda continues to pack on the poundage, which distinguishes her from her sisters.  Anyway, it seems like Bumpkin strategically chose when she was going to emerge from her home.  There were many birds in the apartment complex at the time.  She purposefully crawled to an area that contained many black birds, which are the sort that have bullied groundhogs around here.  Sparrows, doves, and robins seem to mind their own business, but those black birds have pecked groundhogs too nastily and too often.  Bumpkin picked a spot and began to munch on weeds and grass.  It didn't take too long for one of those angry black birds to peck her in the butt.  It took even less time for Bumpkin to turn around and decapitate the bird with one casual swipe of a paw.  Then the fireballs took over.  I had seen her hurl fireballs from her paws before, but never so many and never so quickly.  She stood up on her hindquarters and shot fireballs out of both paws like Clint Eastwood used to do with bullets in spaghetti westerns.  Those fireballs came fast and furious.  One black bird exploded into flames.  Another black bird was hit.  After a while, I lost count.  I'm pretty sure she toasted at least 30 of them.  It was chaos.  She hit them on the ground and in the air.  They tried to fly away, and she picked them off one by one.  I hated seeing those birds attack groundhogs, but I didn't enjoy seeing them trying to fly away while engulfed in flames.  What's even scarier is that I didn't see her miss even once.  I think she's been practicing.
Charred black bird bodies were still smoldering when Bumpkin returned to her first victim: the one she beheaded.  She dragged the unfortunate bird to the sidewalk.  I had a feeling I knew what was coming next.  Sure enough, next to her name, she wrote "Sloopy" "Lucinda" and "Mommy" on the sidewalk in bird blood.  As far as who shouldn't be messed with around here, she left no doubt.  How far will she go though?  Sometimes the maintenance workers cut the grass and use weed whackers.  When they do those things, they scare groundhogs away.  A maintenance worker armed with a weed whacker is no match for Bumpkin.  I don't care if they hire Chuck Norris to whack the weeds here.  Chuck Norris is tough; I wouldn't want to fight him.  But what can he do about multiple fireballs coming at him with great speed?

Bullying

Sheila attacking one of her babies.

Cute little animals have been bullied around here, and I don't like it.  Sheila has attacked her own groundhog children at least twice.  She made one of them cry.  I love Sheila; I can't help it.  She's my first groundhog love.  I loved her before I realized she was living in a hole right next to the building I live in.  After it was confirmed that we were neighbors, I loved her even more.  Then she brought her three babies into my life.  I tell myself there's a reason why she's attacked her own young.  She's just trying to toughen them up.  One of them scampered up to her mommy to say "hi," and this led directly to one of the attacks.  Maybe Sheila's trying to teach them that you have to have your guard up when you're out of the family hole; it's a tough world out there.
The birds are the worst.  One day I saw two baby groundhogs near each other; they were both eating grass.  A black bird pecked one of them in the butt.  The poor baby groundhog stopped eating grass abruptly.  She looked surprised.  It seemed like she was too scared to turn around to see what had happened.  Then she went back to eating grass.  That bird did the same thing to the other baby groundhog, who reacted the exact same way her sister did.  I was angry at this bird, but I also thought it was a little funny.  I don't think it's funny at all anymore.  Another day, I watched a bird peck one of the sisters repeatedly.  The poor thing didn't fight back at all.  It's frustrating, because the groundhogs are definitely bigger than these birds, so they shouldn't be taking any crap from them.  I hate seeing groundhogs being bullied.  What was this bird's problem?  Why was she attacking her instead of foraging for food?  Why is there so much aggression in this world?  Even the toughest of the groundhogs around here, Sheila, has been bullied by birds.  I've seen birds pecking groundhogs plenty of times now, but I've never seen one fight back against the feathered fiends.
I've decided to take matters into my own hands.  If I see birds bullying groundhogs, I will yell "Fight back!" out the window.  I'm not expecting them to fight back against the birds when I do that, but it will probably scare the groundhog, which would cause her to run for cover, which would, temporarily at least, put an end to the bullying.
What's really disturbing is the patches of fur that are missing from one of the sisters.  I can only conclude that she has been bitten where the fur is missing.  And I can't help suspecting that Sheila is responsible.
I think the heat is a factor.  The first time I saw baby groundhogs being bullied was on a very hot day.  In addition to that craziness, I saw a rabbit threaten a couple of squirrels.  One of the squirrels got into a standoff with the rabbit; she laid her tail on her back completely, which is something I'd never seen before.
Speaking of rabbits, it's strange that groundhogs, even babies, seem to not be afraid of them.  I've seen groundhogs intimidate rabbits at least twice.  The rabbits are larger than the birds who bully them.  I suppose it's true what they say; size isn't everything.  

Birds Are Driving Me Crazy! (Part Deux)

Little bird make big noise

This is one hell of a noisy world.  In my home, I'm either hearing people making noise, or animals, or both at the same time.  Sometimes I'm hearing several people and animals making noise simultaneously.  I never thought this would be true, but birds are worse than people when it comes to making noise that bothers me.  They really don't seem to mind being annoying.  I'll admit that some of them sing sweetly.  However, even when they do, they tend to be very repetitive with their singing: like a human singer who sings the same line over and over again.
Chirping is much worse than singing.  Typically, I'm hearing one or more birds making the same exact sound repeatedly.  It seems like some of them have no plans to stop.  They're usually pretty loud too.  I suspect that these are juvenile birds who are saying, "feed me," and it's clear that their hunger never dies.  Unfortunately, birds don't seem to sleep very much.  At a certain time of night, they finally quiet down.  However, they've woken me up around 5:00 a.m. several times.
I believe that people have committed suicide because birds have driven them to do it.  Many, many people have committed suicide for many different reasons.  Every 17 minutes of every hour of every day, someone commits suicide in the United States.  I suppose I should get out more and go to places where there are less birds, or the birds are quieter.  
We humans believe that this is our world, and everyone else is a squirrel trying to get a nut.  I'm not so sure.  Ever imagine how many sparrows are currently living in this world, let alone the total amount of birds?  They can fly, and we can't.  They are thriving.  They are driving me insane.  They're not letting me forget about them.  They're reminding me that they're there nearly every one of my waking moments.
I'm not going to hurt any birds.  Sometimes I can hear a bird chirping on my bedroom windowsill.  I usually march right over there and say, "chirp!  chirp!  naughty birdie!"  The sparrow looks at me, jumps off the windowsill, and usually flutters down to the ground.  Sometimes she has nest-building materials in her beak.  This is preferable, because she isn't as loud when she's got stuff in her beak.
I love all animals.  I just love the quiet ones more.  

I Love Animals

Bumpkin with her mama, Sheila (standing)

I really do.  I like animals more than people.  An animal has never insulted me.  An animal has never taken my job away from me.  An animal has never treated me in a condescending way.  I have had problems with depression, but it always cheers me up to look out my window and see a groundhog.  It's hard to feel like shit when I'm looking at a chubby little groundhog nibbling on grass.  Today I looked out my window, and right in front of me, a robin, who was perched on a telephone wire, took a dump.  "Thanks," I said.  "Right before I eat breakfast."
I like them all.  Mice are cute.  So are birds.  I love to look out my window and see rabbits.  It's very sad that someone would look at a rabbit and want to hurt or kill her.  I can only assume that such a person is evil.  The other day, I watched a rabbit approach a particularly bushy clump of grass.  Then she pawed at it with her front legs.  She moved both of them in a circular motion.  I have no idea why she did that, but it was very cute.
I like watching robins too.  They stand with their head up high, then they duck down, walk briskly for several steps and stop.  The head will pop back up again, and it will all be repeated. 
The love I feel for all animals is so strong.  I don't understand why so many people don't feel the same way.

Birds Are Driving Me Crazy!

Please keep it down!

I have dealt with birds living in the space behind my kitchen fan before.  They probably discovered it and thought, wow, what a great place to live!  What a great place to raise some babies!  It all began with a bird who tweeted in the morning.  Sometimes, he woke me up.  I knew that the time adjustment for daylight savings time was approaching, and I hoped that it would improve the situation.  If he began tweeting at the usual time (for him) after the clocks had been moved forward an hour, he'd now start an hour later (as far as the clocks and I were concerned).  That's pretty much how it turned out.
However, today, things have exploded!  It seems like the loudest bird family in the world moved in to the space behind my kitchen fan.  They have been chirping and tweeting loudly all day long.  They've been making all sorts of weird noises. I kept telling myself, they have just as much right to be here as you do (even though they're not paying rent and I am).  I wanted to yell at them to shut up, but I resisted the urge.  I didn't want to scare the bird shit out of them.  I love animals.  How can a bird, who's chirping constantly, realize that he's being annoying?  I resisted the urge for so long.  I finally said, "that's it."  I marched over the the kitchen fan and said, toward it, "quiet please!"  I showed some restraint.  I didn't yell.  I just said it clearly and sternly.  I don't think it had much of an effect.  I tried it again.  I've said it a total of three times so far.
Currently, finally, it is silent behind my kitchen fan.  But how long will it last?  For how long must I endure this chirping Armageddon?