Date Chat (continued)

 

her (in quotes): "The world has good things in it too. How about music and art?"

me (not): i know it does. But it's little consultation for many. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death. I love music, but i can be quite miserable while listening to it. life is hard. life is pain. so why are there 7.7 billion of us? those are the 2 most backward things about society to me. it's socially acceptable to perpetrate/support animal cruelty & bring people into a very messed-up world, & that most people do these things. belief in god as well, but that's a distant 3rd for me. the 1st 2 bother me everyday: multiple times a day. I also think it's stupid & dangerous to ride motorcycles in traffic & climb mountains like Everest. I think it's stupid to get tattoos

"Tell me about the daily sacrifices that you make for the sake of animals."

That seems confrontational. when you DON"T eat whatever you want, EVERYDAY, when you refuse to support animal cruelty, that is a sacrifice. i get the message out on Twitter. i receive emails asking me to take action, sign petitions, contact elected reps & i do. i spent a lot of time & effort writing an "animal liberation" book https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZSHNT5I & if you are judging me, i'll remind you what i said about not caring at all what people think about me. after all, i did not ask for this existence. my parents forced it on me, which i've never done to someone

"I didn't mean to be confrontational. I'm wondering what you could do that would be a sacrifise. Those things that mention are things that you do, but they don't seem like a sacrifice. I think of sacrifice as you giving up something for their benefit. Does that mean that you really love eating meat and not eating it is a sacrifice for you? I was vegan for many years and I didn't ever consider it to be a sacrifice."

if i didn't care about animals, i'd be eating bacon cheeseburgers. i don't like veggies. it is a sacrifice. doesn't everyone like pizza? i haven't bought it since 2002

"I didn't eat any of that stuff for about 15 years and it was no big deal."

i guess it was because you went back to eating it

"There are soilders who fall on bombs to save their comrades. There was a mass shooting in New Zealand recently and an unarmed student rushed the shooter to let others get away. Those are sacrifices. Not eating a burger is nothing."

is that how you want your son/daughter to go out? wonderful world you brought them into, right? all these mass shootings, terrorist attacks, tons of other assorted violence, &, of course, nasty, judgmental people

"My son sitting here reading this with me tells me that he is very happy to be alive."

will he be when he's 85 & a weak (body & mind), pain-ridden mess?
(no reply as of posting)

Probably the End

I thought i'd heard the last from the woman I went on 2 dates with, then she messaged me again. I read this (from her) today:
"My attraction to someone develops through feeling a connection with them. I don't know yet if that will happen with you."
my reply:
i'm not someone who's driven by the pursuit of $, greed & selfishness. what people think about me, their judgements, it doesn't matter to me. I do my best to not support animal cruelty, & i've never gotten a woman pregnant. you may as well know sooner than later (she's procreated twice) that I think it's cruel for people to bring people or animals into a world that is so obviously cold, cruel, brutal, & dangerous. You seem intelligent, so I don't need to list all the problems with this world. the news does that everyday anyway. so i am proud of the way i've lived my life. I'm a merciful person who makes sacrifices everyday for the sake of animals. & if people don't appreciate me for who i am, then I'm not interested in them.

Current Online Dating Profile

this is my current online dating profile:
"CAUTION: this was written by someone who's REAL. w/all the fakeness out there, it might be a shock to the system.
i refuse to support animal cruelty (buy meat, egg, dairy, leather, etc). if you think there's nothing wrong with supporting animal cruelty, if you never see yourself being a vegetarian or vegan, then i'm not interested in you.
If ya want to have kids, I ain't interested in ya either.
i'm not an optimist; i'm a realist.
i don't care to be a conformer. i have my own mind.
it's sad, but i find that women are more likely to judge me when it comes to how much of a loser i am as opposed to my morals & values, which i'm proud of
my experience is, if women are considering dating me, they will interrogate/judge me: fine. i will be brutally honest, because there's no point in wasting time, nor do i want to be w/someone who's obsessed w/$, status, because that's so typical."

Pros & Cons

Pros & Cons lists can be helpful.  I have made them before.  As I have mentioned, I am indecisive, so such lists can help me make decisions.  This one is about relationships.
Cons-
There are at least several cons associated with being in a relationship with a woman.  Since this recently happened, I will address it now; this weakened, debris (I think they were bricks.) fell off a truck in front of me.  I believe my car ran over at least one brick as a result.  I have told myself that I should avoid driving behind cars or trucks that are carrying stuff, because stuff is always falling off such vehicles and onto the road, but I suppose I thought I was far enough behind this truck: obviously not.  Any moron can load a truck with stuff, but many of them won't do it properly, and will put other drivers at risk as a result.  I checked my car, but there seems to be no damage.  I got most of the license plate number of the truck and called 911 anyway.  The point of this in regards to a relationship is that a relationship means going out more, which leads to more driving.  All sorts of horrible things can happen when we drive: accidents, hitting animals, dealing with road rage, etc.
One of the biggest cons associated with being in a relationship is not being able to be who I am.  I am real.  Using the woman that wants to go on a date with me as an example, as I mentioned, she only keeps her "positive" friends.  I'm not "positive;" I'm real.  I don't' consider myself to be a pessimist; I prefer the term "realist."  As a matter of fact, I've already thought of so many cons here, that I think I shouldn't be phony with her at all.  I shouldn't hide who I am at all from her (or any potential girlfriend), because it could just result in wasted time.
That's the next con: wasted time.  Perhaps my time would be better spent writing, or reading, than being with a woman.  There is a finite amount of time in one's life to create.  Should I allow a woman to chip away at that?
Wasted money is another con.  I come from a very thrifty family.  I like to save money.  I don't' like to spend it.  I pretty much only spend it on necessities.  I don't want to spend it on a woman.
As I've mentioned, I think sex is disgusting.  That being said, I'm a human animal that is hardwired to want it, and I do.  The vaj is only a few inches away from the bunghole, which is so gross.  Women poop, and that is disgusting.  I know, I poop too, and I fully admit I'm disgusting.  Making out is gross: exchanging saliva with someone.
I love metal.  I have to be able to listen to it.  Most people, especially women, don't' like metal.
She looks good in the picture, but the woman who asked me out recently is lying in some grass in one of her photos.  My thoughts eventually went to Lyme disease, which I recently wrote about here.  Did she check herself for ticks after lying in the grass?  Lying in the grass is basically an invitation for ticks to bite into your flesh.  I will have to talk to her about ticks and Lyme disease if things progress between us, because I don't want her to transfer a Lyme-disease-ridden tick to me.
I have mentioned here that I am a slob.  I hate to clean, and I only do approximately the minimum amount of it.  If she came over and saw my apartment the way it is now, she would probably lose interest in me immediately.  So I would have to clean for her, which is both a pro and con.  I'm not happy with the filthiness of my home, so if she inspired me to do extra cleaning, that would be a good thing.  On the other hand, it seems like I'm content to be a lazy slob.
I'd have to do more laundry, and I hate it.  I'm content to wear dirty clothes, as long as I think people won't smell them (I admitted that I'm disgusting.).
The woman who asked me out eats meat, and that is a big problem.  Should I compromise who I am as I vie for nookie?  She suggested that we go to a vegetarian restaurant, and it is good that she is sensitive to the issue.  But anyone who knows this blog knows I am very passionate about this issue.  I am willing to get into a very loud argument about it, because, again, it is simply wrong to support animal cruelty by buying meat and leather. 
The woman who asked me out also has kids.  Again, people who know this blog know how I feel about procreation.  So, you see, I'm concerned about all the things that she wouldn't like about ME, when I, quite frankly, have 2 very important issues with her (and many people).           

Pros-
For some reason, when the dating website I frequent sends me an email with potential matches for me, I look at it, and I contact some of them.  I suppose I wouldn't do that if I didn't want to be with a woman.
Companionship is important, and aside from talking to coworkers a little, I don't have it in my life.
Touching is important, and aside from petting dogs a little at work, I don't have it in my life.
They say these things are quite necessary when it comes to combatting depression.