Chickens

This is how chickens should be treated.

Think of how small and vulnerable chickens are.  They don't have a chance against humans.  What people do to them is absolutely horrible.  I've mentioned before how I'm always being offended by people's callus attitude toward many animals: especially "food" animals.  I was watching a TV show, when a couple of characters started talking about chicken.  One of them called chicken the "queen of meats," and the other laughed.  This was obviously supposed to be funny.  I didn't even smile.  I was offended.  When I think of chickens, I think of animals who need to be liberated incredibly badly; I don't think of them as meat.  To make a joke about chickens being nothing more than meat is disgusting.  To laugh at their suffering is unbelievably shitty. 
That was yesterday.  Today, I stopped watching a movie, because a scene began in which a guy chased a terrified chicken around, as other people helped contain the chicken to a certain area.  Again, I'm pretty sure this was supposed to be funny.  Once again, I didn't think it was remotely funny; I was offended.  Seeing a chicken who is running scared, trying to get away from people, is just a sad reminder of the way things are.  People terrorize chickens, on a massive scale, everyday.
It's so sad that chickens, and those who want to liberate them, face such an uphill battle.        

People Ruin Everything

People ruin the environment, the lives of animals, the lives of other people, everything.  If I am having a rare good day, then it's highly possible that someone will ruin it.  I sort of don't understand why people would have friends.  I understand that loneliness is not good; I deal with it everyday.  But take the example of my aforementioned frenemy.  There are plenty of times when he and I got along very well.  But it was always just a matter of time until he ruined it by judging me, criticizing me, or yelling at me (for no good reason).  My ex-girlfriend used to be absolutely pissed off that she HAD to go see friends of hers.  What's the point of that?  If seeing friends is like work, then why do it?  My frenemy told me he was going to a Springsteen concert with a friend.  At no time did he want to go.  He complained and complained about it.  Why complain about it to me?  I'm not the one that's going to the concert with you.  But he went, and complained about it some more afterward.
Work sucks, but it's preferable to work outside, where we sell colorful flowers; it's a marvelous display.  As I've mentioned here before, it's good to be outside.  It's natural.  It's the way it should be.  But the outside area at work is definitely ruined by people.  It's amazing how different the two ends of the massive home improvement store I work at are.  In lumber, the customers are mostly men, and they sometimes expect me to know how to build or fix this or that.  I don't know how to build or fix anything.  The garden area of the store might as well be a world away.  Most of the customers are women, and they expect me to know about plants and gardening.  I don't know shit about that.  Lots of the customers there are elderly ladies.  Plenty of them have lashed out at me.  It must be hard to be an old lady.  I'm sure a lot of people treat them like they're slow and in the way, which they sort of are.  I've seen, and dealt with, a depressing amount of elderly people that I never want to be like.  They say, "death before dishonor."  Well, it's dishonorable to be half dead physically and mentally.  I think it makes sense to kill yourself before you become a ghost of your former self.
The elderly lady was buying something from me at the outside register, and she was saying the usual boring shit that I've heard tons of times before.  It's amazing how dull and unfunny many people are when they try to be funny.  I didn't react to what she was saying.  She said something about not talking much.  "Who?" I asked.  "You," she said angrily.  So, once again, I'm the lowest on the food chain.  My position in society is to take undeserved abuse from pathetic old ladies.  The young, tattooed woman who was next in line heard the exchange.  She, unsolicited, mentioned to me how the old lady's attack (on me) was bogus. 
Since we're outside, there is, obviously, no roof to block sunlight.  This means that direct sunlight hits the PIN pad; the glare makes it hard to see.  You wouldn't believe how many morons complain that they can't read its screen, as though it's my, or anyone's, fault.  What do I want to say every time?  "Hey, if I could control the brightness of the sun, I wouldn't be here."  Or, "You could pay inside, which has a fucking roof over it."
Last night, a bit of a connection was made.  I was dealing with a customer who's a very nice guy.  The total came up, and he mentioned that it was the same as the year he was born.  I didn't tell him, but it was the year I was born too.  He talked to me a little bit.  He mentioned that he works 12-hour days, 7 days a week.  Then he added that he's making a lot of money.  You see, he ruined it there by bragging about all the money he's making.  It wasn't necessary.  I think bragging about the money you have, especially to someone who doesn't have much of it, isn't classy.  My frenemy was like that.  Not only did he brag about his money, he told me several times that his sister is rich: rubbing other people's money in my face over and over again.  He is such a piece of shit.  
If you want to laugh, try my Twitter account where I tweet jokes.  It's here: https://twitter.com/TheBaldDBag        

It's Gonna Kill Me

The mad dash before work: hurriedly grabbing keys, sunglasses, and other things.  Time just before you need to leave for work goes fastest.  I hate driving.  It is so stressful.  Every time I'm passing someone's car on the highway, I'm worried that he or she, not seeing my car, will change lanes and hit mine.  An old guy almost did that to me recently.  His car nearly hit mine, but he saw it just in time.  My car has hydroplaned several times: terrifying.
Yesterday, I was waiting to make a right turn.  The approaching car was making a right turn, so I thought that would be my opportunity to make the turn, because the driver behind the one making the turn would certainly slow down for the car in front of him, but that didn't happen.  I ended up cutting off that driver a little, which resulted in him giving me the finger.  I gave him the finger.  A little further down the road, as I was waiting to make a left turn, he honked his horn as he passed me, so I could see him give me the finger again.  I flipped him off again.  I was very angry.  I was thinking how I could quickly communicate to him that I wanted to beat the shit out of him.  I've seen plenty of accidents and road rage incidents.
It seems like virtually all my problems are society related.  I hate my job.  I hate my neighbors.  For the most part, I hate people.  A meat-eating biological parent that believes in god is someone that I really don't relate to.  Why am I here?  Why am I in my apt, where I don't want to be, getting ready for work, where I don't want to go?  My writing gives me a little bit of hope.  I have written 3 books, which, of course, have generated very little interest, but that can change, I tell myself.  Yeah, right.  Most people don't read.  Should I start taking antidepressants again?  Is that what life is all about?  Taking unnatural medications so you can tolerate life in a shitty, human-made society? 
I'm thinking that maybe I should just leave it all to live in the wilderness: not live as a homeless person in a city; that seems horrible.  No, truly living in the wilderness.  My neighbors have chased me out of my apt on my days off, and I've been spending more time in nature as a result.  It feels good to be there; it feels right.  I believe that is how we're supposed to live.  Society hasn't improved life; it's ruined it for many.  Of course, I'm a have not.  Wealthy people probably love life in our society.  They have poor bastards like me doing everything for them: like cleaning.  But, for someone like me, I don't think it's a good deal to live in civilization. 
Civilization, another joke of a human word.  Humans are a nightmare: an incredibly violent species that terrorizes, on a massive scale, animals, the environment, and each other.  It's civilized to support horrific animal cruelty by buying meat and leather.  It's civilized to bring people into the world to suffer.  It's civilized to worship gods, that never existed, like a fucking Neanderthal.  It's civilized to pretend that life in society is great, and you're so happy in it, even if you're miserable.  Don't complain.  Whiners are weiners.  Don't rock the boat.
There are problems with living in nature.  Can I get by without showers and toilet paper?  It seems like those things would be the hardest to live without.  Bugs are also a problem.  They are very annoying.  I think I'll start reading books about living off the grid.  All I'd need for entertainment is a library card.  If I ever just walk away from my apt and job, I'd make sure to pack one very important item: the rope I bought, to hang myself with, years ago.  If things didn't work out, I could hang myself from a tree in the middle of nowhere.      

I Tried

I realized I've explored the spectrum of negativity here while I was bored out of my mind at work yesterday.  I came up with a more positive mantra than the one I usually go with (Time is passing; death is closer.), which is "Time is passing; you have paid time off to take."  Despite the soul-crushing boredom, I was trying to feel positive.  Then I shaved my bald head, and some hair fell into my eye, and it was bad.  My eye is tearing up again just thinking about it.  There was pain, discomfort, and worry.  I have no health insurance.  I couldn't go to a hospital without breaking the bank.  And that's life.  Just when it's going okay, something shitty happens. 
That's another "life is."  Life is suffering with hair in your eye, trying to finish cutting your hair, while, as usual, hearing your scumbag neighbors through the wall.  You want to scream at them to give you a break, because you're suffering worse than usual, but you realize they have a right to make their shitty noise; it's not too early or too late.  And screaming at them would probably just make it worse.  And when horrible things happen to you, other people, and animals, the rest of the world just smiles and laughs, because they don't care.  What a cruel, cold place.  

Double Selfish Monstrosities!

Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!  That was a scream of pain, frustration, and despair.  It's official.  It's happened again.  I dread going to work.  The best thing about my workplace is dogs are allowed to be there.  Also, a very cute little girl with a lot of curly blonde hair recently blew a kiss to me.  So it only sucks 99% of the time.
I don't talk very much to my coworkers, because I don't wish to participate in certain recurring sorts of conversations.  They frequently talk about the meat they like to eat.  What am I supposed to say to that?  "I hope you fucking choke on it" comes to mind.  They also talk about their kids and grandkids.  They show pictures as well.  What do I say to that?  "Now, just how many kids have you brought into this brutal, miserable world to suffer?"  That's what I mean by double selfish monstrosities.  Eating meat is selfish, because it's cruel, and you don't need it to survive.  Bringing babies into this fucked-up, dangerous world is selfish.  Procreating is arguably the most selfish thing you can do.  Or perhaps eating meat is.  They're both way up there.  But, unfortunately, for people and animals alike, it's the norm.  It's typical.  And that's what these people are: typical.  They bore and anger the fuck out of me.      

Horror

Every single day-
For animals, horror
For people, horror
For Mother Nature, horror
 

Reaching Out

I posted this on Facebook today-
"Everyday, I see a lot of people who are quite content with themselves. They really seem to like themselves and think they are good people. But they eat meat. Eating meat is unnecessary. I've survived quite well without it since 2002. I'm slim and probably healthier than a lot of meat eaters. When one buys meat, one supports animal cruelty. There's no way around that. It doesn't matter that most people are meat eaters. Two wrongs don't make a right. Billions of wrongs don't make a right. No amount of wrongs make a right. Yesterday, I heard a coworker talk at length about how he prepares lamb and how delicious it is. It's a real shame that it's socially acceptable to be so thoughtlessly cruel. He spoke in such a pleasant, carefree tone, as though he couldn't possibly be offending someone, but I was definitely offended. Not only are lambs living, breathing, gentle animals, capable of feeling fear and pain, they are also juveniles. So, if you think you are a wonderful person, but you eat meat, ask yourself, are you really?"    

Death World

Any faithful reader of this blog will agree that I've gone on, at length, about how cruel it is for a person to bring animals or people into this world.  This time, I'll focus on one reason.  The existence of death alone is reason enough to not bring someone into this world.
If one doesn't die young, then one will have to deal with the deaths of beloved pets, friends, relatives, spouses, significant others, famous people they're fans of, etc.  Having to deal with the deaths of others has obviously shattered people's lives.  Some never recover from it.  And, compounding the situation, more deaths will follow; it's guaranteed.
I can still recall when, as a kid, I first began to grasp the concept of death.  It blew my little mind.  It was traumatic.  All this will just fade to black? I thought.  I won't wake up anymore?  I won't think anymore?  I won't see or hear anything anymore?
Perhaps this is part of the reason why metal is my favorite sort of music.  There is a subgenre of it called "death metal."  Obviously, death metal doesn't dance around the subject of death.  It's right there: in your face, in the name.  Metal lyrics tend to be more honest than what you'll find in other sorts of music.  For instance, as far as I know, there isn't a subgenre of metal called "love metal."  As far as I'm concerned, most love songs are garbage.  Is love between a man and a woman (or a gay couple) real?  Sometimes.  Or, in most cases, is it really lust that will fade?  How many pop stars have released songs where they're singing about how they'll love one person forever?  Meanwhile, they're getting more ass than a toilet seat.

It's All Shit

Trump is shit.
Meat eaters are shit.
People who hurt animals, directly or indirectly, are shit.
People who don't care about animals are shit.
People who get off by closely controlling animals are shit.
People who can't stop being violent are shit.
Sadistic people are shit.
Selfish people are shit.
Hypocrites are shit.
Narcissists are shit.
Greedy rich people are shit.
Being a nobody with little money is shit.
People who enjoy being mean are shit.
Sexual predators are shit.
Litterers are shit.
Polluters are shit.
People who don't recycle are shit.
Arsonists are shit.
Terrorists are shit.
Biological parents are shit.
My father is shit.
My mother is shit.
Breeders are shit.
TV commercials are shit.
My neighbors, and their guests, are shit.
My ex-friend is shit.
Loud people are shit.
Shitty drivers are shit.
Stupid people are shit.
Human society is shit.
Trying to find a woman that I want to be with, who will want to be with me, is shit.
Aging is shit.
Pain is shit.
Depression is shit.
OCD is shit.
Work is shit.
Cowards who fuck with people who are working are shit.
Shit is shit.
People are shit.
Life is shit.

 

The Loneliness of Being in the Minority

It's a lonely life to be the way I am.  I'm an atheist who thinks that meat eaters and any people (with the exception of children and the mentally disabled) who have brought people or animals into this world are cruel.  What are the chances I'll find a girlfriend that feels the same way, or will even tolerate my beliefs? 
I tell myself I shouldn't even try to find a girlfriend.  I've started to make a list of pros and cons of being in a relationship.  So far, the cons are winning.  However, when OkCupid emails me my latest "top matches," I check them out.  Logically, I shouldn't want to be in a relationship, but it can be hard to go against what is natural.  Touching (even non-sexual) is very therapeutically beneficial, and it's something I don't have in my life.     

Things People Care About More Than Animals

This is a list of things people care about more than animals (especially animals like pigs, cows, and chickens, etc.)-money (obviously), TVs, football, golf, basketball, baseball, NASCAR, soccer, tennis, ping pong, Tiddlywinks, god, Jesus, flags, Scandal, phones, The Price Is Right, what they look like, wallpaper, cars, Wheel of Fortune, soap operas, shoes, shoelaces,  tools, furniture, bug spray, hammocks, paperweights, Jeopardy, their weight, letter openers, their lawns, pens, Frisbees, hula hoops, jewelry, crystals, alcohol, drugs, bubblegum, bubble bath, sex, The Walking Dead, etc.
I could go on and on here, but the point is obvious.  To the average person, animals' lives are practically worthless.  I may have mentioned this here before, but I'll probably never forget this line from a movie called The Boost.  James Woods' character bought a car and a dog for his wife.  He said something like, "A $50,000 car and a $2 mutt: go figure."  I think this was meant to be a funny line, but it makes me very sad, because it's true.  Dogs are pretty much free to adopt, but they're put to sleep because they're not wanted.  It seems to me like the only way to enjoy life with all this suffering going on is to have no conscience.
 

What a Wonderful World

What a wonderful world to bring babies into.  Terrorists driving trucks through crowds of people is the new norm.  If you haven't already, imagine the brutality of what happened in Berlin and Nice: people's bodies being smashed, crushed, dragged, and brutalized.
I remember hearing that there was a baby boom after 9/11.  Apparently, people are so fucked-up, that when terrorists hijacked passenger jets and used them to knock the Twin Towers down, they thought, what a great world to bring babies into!
Life is pain, fear, shit, boredom, frustration, and agony.

Too Many People

As I mentioned previously, I'm working on an eBook, so I don't have much time for this, but I feel it's time I express myself again.  I've endured plenty of onslaughts at work.  As a cashier in a store, I feel as though I've had to deal with wave upon wave of zombie shoppers.  Today was certainly one of those days: just one person after another.  People lining up to buy stuff.  An endless stream of people.  I've written it before; I have no kids, but I have to deal with the result of too many people.  I have to be bombarded with them over and over again. 
Some might think I should be grateful.  Without all those customers, I wouldn't have a job.  Without all those customers, I might have chugged antifreeze or jumped or hanged myself by now.  According to my beliefs, death is a nice long slumber.  I'm not really suicidal.  It occurred to me, what if antidepressants are just good enough to keep people from killing themselves?  They're still living shitty lives that they hate; they just don't want to kill themselves as much as they used to.  It's a scary thought.  I imagine the so-called elite, the super rich, would want it that way.  They don't want the people who scrub their toilets to die, because they certainly don't want to do it.
That's part of the reason why I continue here.  If I kill myself, there will be some sort of an explanation left behind.  Maybe it will help people understand depression and suicide.
I work with someone who has autism.  Today, a customer was wearing some sort of a run to stop autism shirt.  It made me think-if you don't want your kid to get autism, then how about not bringing him or her into a world where autism exists?
Money and status aren't the most important things.  Animals are more important, and so is being someone who can truly say that they have brought neither people nor animals into this brutal world.
Pregnant women are disgusting to me.  The men who got them pregnant are equally disgusting.  I certainly don't think pregnant women deserve any special treatment.  They are bringing an innocent baby into a fucked-up, violent world of pain and despair.     

Why Am I Like This?

I haven't done this in a while, because, as I wrote, I have less discipline for sitting at the computer and writing when I'm sober.  I've also been working on some comedy writing.  I've been sober since 7/31/16.  I'm also back on antidepressants: this time, Lexapro.  There have been times when I've been tempted to buy some alcohol, and I've gone through he pros and cons.  But what really seems to help is to simply remind myself that alcohol is a DEPRESSANT, and I have DEPRESSION.  The two things obviously don't go together.  Besides, it just wasn't working.  I was miserable.  I wasn't so miserable when I was drinking, but I was afterward.  In my experience, there's a price to pay for "enjoying" alcohol.
My philosophies haven't changed.  I'm not as miserable as I was when I was drinking and not on Lexapro, but I'm not happy as a clam either.  It's very hard to live among people that are living in ways I don't identify with. 
I still think it's cruel to bring people or animals into this world, which is why I haven't done so.  I turn on the TV, I go out, I go to work, and I see tons of people with kids.  I watched the news tonight.  So many kids are suffering in Syria.  Their parents brought them into a brutal world.
I'm still a vegan.  People are so thoughtlessly cruel.  I was eating lunch at work and so was a coworker.  He had gone out to get fast food.  He was eating a burger, and he said, to me, with a smile, "Everything is better with bacon."  To him, that was funny.  To me, it was not.  I did not laugh.  Animals face such an uphill battle against these selfish, uncaring, leather-wearing meat eaters.
I'm still an atheist.  I think it's stupid to believe in god.  Only children and the mentally disabled have good excuses to believe in god.
I still have no tattoos.  It's beyond me why someone would pay somebody to mutilate their bodies.
I still don't have a smartphone.  I'm so sick and tired of seeing people that are transfixed by their fucking phones.
Since I've been at my job, several customers have complained about my coworkers.  One of them even tried to get me fired.  They've complained to me about my coworkers.  They've made "customer complaints" (his words), and they've bitched and moaned about my coworkers: trying to get them in trouble, perhaps fired.  How shitty.  You weren't treated like the Queen of fucking England, and now you want someone to be unemployed as a result?  Fuck you.  I listen to their shit, but I never rat on my coworkers.   
 

Father's Day

Another bullshit holiday.  The only fathers who should be honored are good adoptive fathers.  Good adoptive parents (who only adopt and don't procreate) are heroes.  Biological parents are selfish misery spreaders.
This one is dedicated to all the people who don't have fathers: like me.  I've written it here before, but it's Father's Day here in the states, so cut me some slack.  I'm the result of a teen pregnancy, which led to a shotgun wedding.  My father left when I was 2 years old.  I saw him occasionally over the years, but I haven't seen or heard from him since I was a teen.  He is the typical deadbeat dad.  He doesn't care about me, and my mother had to take him to court at least once to get him to pay child support.  He is, as far as I'm concerned, trash. 
Today, I was watching a movie called Antonia's Line.  There was a character in it that reminded me of me.  He said things like, "The best thing is to never have been born.  The second best thing is to die."  He said other things like that.  Like me, he believed that to live on this planet is to suffer.  If memory serves, this film won the Oscar for best foreign film.  I think it goes to show that people appreciate reality in their entertainment. 
As far as the world we live in is concerned, the other day, a coworker told me that one of our fellow employees shot himself on the way to work.  He killed himself.  I didn't really know him.  I can't picture who he was.  I Googled him: but to no avail.  All I know is that he is free from pain.  Meanwhile, my foot pain is severe, and I must stand fulltime for my job.
So many fathers have been little or nothing more than sperm donors that I think we should abolish this bullshit holiday.  People like me don't need to be reminded that plenty of people have been lucky enough to have decent fathers.  I see it everyday at work: fathers with sons that are older than I was when he stopped going to stores with me (if he ever did).