Cowards

I'd always gotten the asshole vibe from this regular customer at work. He'd made fun of me before, & I'm sick of seeing his ugly face. I work as a lumber cashier at Lowe's, & I see some customers everyday or nearly everyday: frequently multiple times a day. It sucks. This guy is 1 of those customers.
When this guy is there by himself, there aren't problems. But when he has an audience, watch out. He's been there with his kid(s), & asked me, "Are you having fun?" & I've said, no, & he's laughed, which might not sound so bad (Certainly, trust me, it's boring & typical.), but context is everything sometimes. I'm real; that's how I am. If I'm miserable, I have neither the energy nor the inclination to act happy. & I'm frequently miserable at work for good reason; my job sucks.
Lately, this asshole has been coming into Lowe's with a young guy: a teen. So they come to my register. While I'm doing my job, the asshole asks me, "Do you like your job?" He's such an asshole, I was expecting him to laugh when I said, "no," but he didn't. "What's your passion?" he asked. As I mentioned, I'd gotten the asshole vibe from him before, so I didn't answer. he said, "not this?" I said, "no." The teen said, "Are you certified in anything?" "No," I said. "He don't give a fuck about you," the asshole said. "He's angry," 1 of them said as they were leaving. It was humiliating. They ganged up on me. If you don't see it, you had to be there.
I'm such an easy target. I stand there, they approach me, & I have to deal with them. Realistically, to be a cashier at my age means I'm a loser. & that's how they treated me. & people are so shitty, they don't care WHY you're a loser, just that you ARE 1, & therefore, it's OK to treat you like 1. Maybe I'm a loser because I'm the result of a teen pregnancy, my father left when I was 2, my mother has always been cold, selfish, lazy, uncaring, stupid, etc, & I was molested by a family member (the short version).
So that in itself sucked, but it wasn't over. That occurred at the "front end" of the store, where the main exit is. Then, as usual, I moved to the lumber register to relieve the woman who starts there at 6:00 am. So they returned. Fucking great, I thought. Even though he's well into adulthood, I saw the asshole jump onto a cart & ride it a bit.
So they approached me again. The asshole said, "hi." I was still pissed at them, so I said nothing. He laughed & so did the teen. Then he asked, condescendingly, "which register do you like better: this or the other 1?" Again, I said nothing, & again they laughed at me. I'd had enough.
"I don't appreciate you hassling me while I'm trying to pay my bills & keep a roof over my head!" I said very angrily to the asshole. I had bagged his purchases & tossed them hard onto the counter, which may have hit him a little bit, & there was hard stuff in that bag. He looked shocked; I didn't care; I was furious.
"You got it wrong," he said. "I was trying to be nice." "You laughed at me!" I replied. He said, "Yeah, but- (don't recall the rest)."
Then he called me a prick. Obviously, you can get fired for cursing out a customer, so I said, "You are!" The whole time, the teen is smirking at me: so fucking disrespectful & shitty. Then the teen bought an energy drink. I virtually always hand the change to the customers: not this time. I definitively put his change & receipt on the counter; our hands touched a little. I did not thank them for their purchases; again, I virtually always do that. The teen continued to smirk, as he said, "Have a nice day" (sarcastically) to me.
As they were leaving, the asshole loudly said, "What a fucking asshole!" or something like that, which was obviously meant for me. The teen laughed.
For quite a while, hours, afterward, I felt sick: possibly the result of an adrenaline dump. I also had, & still do, some fear. What if they come back to beat the shit out of me? I spend a lot of time alone over there: especially at night. What if 1 or both of them know Karate, etc.?
That's why I titled this "Cowards," because that's what people who fuck with other people while they're working are. It's not fair. He can call me a prick, an asshole, but I can't unless I don't mind getting fired, which doesn't seem so fucking bad, & hasn't for a while now.
Now I can "look forward" to dealing with them again (& again & again).

Human Society: Great for a Few, Horrible for Many

I've probably touched on this before, but I believe that war, terrorism, and mass shootings are generated by life in human society, which, as the title suggests, is fantastic if you're rich and shitty if you're not.  Our society is fake, false, and unfair.  People that come from stupid, shitty, loser families supposedly have the same chances for success as those who come from intelligent, caring, successful families.  It's a bold-faced lie.
Look at Donald Trump: one of the most vile, stupid, and disgusting examples of an asshole the world has ever seen.  His father lent him $14,000,000.  He owns Manhattan real estate.  If you can afford it, buying Manhattan real estate is a no brainer.  Unless it gets wiped off the face of the map, it will always be worth a lot.    
By contrast, most terrorists probably don't have a pot to piss in.  If you have nothing, your life is shit, and you see that others have everything (especially if they have it unfairly), then you might want to lash out at society.  Likewise, many of these mass shooters are society's losers.  Frequently, it's the loss of a job that will set them off.  Many people who have committed suicide couldn't stand being losers in this society. 

Things I've Heard

Life sucks.
Life is hard.
Life's a bitch.
Life is pain.
Nobody ever said life is fair.
Stop the world; I want to get off!
"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." (Friedrich Nietzsche)
Growing old ain't for sissies. (The horrible implication is obvious.  Getting old means more pain, weakness, vulnerability, deterioration of the body and mind, less independence, possibly being put in a "home."  I went with my ex-girlfriend to the hospital where her mother was spending her last days.  It was horrible: a nightmare.  Frail, desperately lonely elderly people waiting for death.  Impending death was in the air; it was palpable: a horrifying experience.  I had to leave before she did: waiting for her outside in nature: glorious nature, I needed it's natural antidepressant qualities quite badly after that.  This is how life ends for many.  Let that be a grim warning to all you parents out there.  It makes sense that, the shittier the parent, the less your kids are going to want to help you when you need it so badly in your old age.)
"It's the terror of knowing what the world is about, watching some good friends screaming, 'Let me out'" (from "Under Pressure" by David Bowie and Freddy Mercury)
"I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.  That's the two categories.  The horrible are like terminal cases and blind people, crippled, I don't know how they get through life.  It's amazing to me.  And the miserable is everyone else." (from Annie Hall by Woody Allen)

If these things are known and true, and they are, then why bring others into the world to suffer?
 

This World Is Not for Me

These are reasons why this world is not for me:
Violence-there is way too much of it, and there probably always has been.
Misery-I see it all around me.  I'm miserable.  Many of my coworkers are, etc.
Pain-it hurts.
Way too many people are cruel to animals (Buying meat is being cruel to animals, because one supports animal cruelty when one does it.).
Way too many people bring people and/or animals into this world to suffer.
Eating meat and procreating are part of the status quo.
Depression-it's horrible; it makes you choose between suffering and suicide.  And it's extremely expensive to treat it in this greedy country that cares so much more about money than its citizens.
Too much shit-literally and figuratively.  I hate shitting and wiping.  I hate all the shitty things I have to do.
Horrible possibilities-I could be falsely convicted for murder and spend the rest of my life in prison.  People have been paralyzed from the neck down by strokes that came out of nowhere.  Car accidents kill and main people everyday.
Facing the deterioration of the mind and body due to aging.
It's unfair-pieces of shit like Trump get to be rich (and president) as a result of being born with silver spoons in their mouths.  Rich people obviously enjoy a better quality of life than other people do.  They don't have to clean their homes.  They don't have to hear their neighbors.  They don't have to work shitty jobs: surrounded by stupid, boring people.
This smartphone culture is shit.  I hate it.  I hate seeing people staring at their phones.  These smartphone zombies are ruining things.  New York is a great city, but the sidewalks are clogged with these assholes.  They could be looking at the incredible architecture, but, instead, they're looking at Facebook.  I hate selfies.  I don't have a smartphone, and the only reason I joined Facebook and Twitter is to promote my writing.  I have posted some substantive stuff about animal cruelty there: very little frivolous crap (I've posted some things I thought were funny.)..  What I really can't stand is all the self-centered shit you'll find in places like that: boring, stupid people putting up boring, stupid content.  I ultimately think that Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. are shit.
I'm repeating myself here, but it could serve as a posthumous explanation.