Human Society: Great for a Few, Horrible for Many

I've probably touched on this before, but I believe that war, terrorism, and mass shootings are generated by life in human society, which, as the title suggests, is fantastic if you're rich and shitty if you're not.  Our society is fake, false, and unfair.  People that come from stupid, shitty, loser families supposedly have the same chances for success as those who come from intelligent, caring, successful families.  It's a bold-faced lie.
Look at Donald Trump: one of the most vile, stupid, and disgusting examples of an asshole the world has ever seen.  His father lent him $14,000,000.  He owns Manhattan real estate.  If you can afford it, buying Manhattan real estate is a no brainer.  Unless it gets wiped off the face of the map, it will always be worth a lot.    
By contrast, most terrorists probably don't have a pot to piss in.  If you have nothing, your life is shit, and you see that others have everything (especially if they have it unfairly), then you might want to lash out at society.  Likewise, many of these mass shooters are society's losers.  Frequently, it's the loss of a job that will set them off.  Many people who have committed suicide couldn't stand being losers in this society. 

Everyday

The cover of Veganman

Two things are on my mind every single day: multiple times a day.  After all, I'm frequently reminded of them.
First, and foremost, I'm angry, depressed, and frustrated about animal cruelty, and how widespread it is, which is why I wrote Veganman, which is here on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZSHNT5I It is the rare story that's more about animals' happiness than people's happiness.  I'm reminded of animal cruelty everywhere: online, while watching TV, listening to the radio, while reading, and every time I go anywhere.
Secondly, I strongly believe it is an act of cruelty for a person to bring people or animals into this world of boredom, frustration, misery, agony, pain, suffering, injustice, hostility, violence, rage, rape, child molestation, hurricanes, floods, tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, avalanches, landslides, rockslides, mudslides, wildfires, arson, (car, plane, train, etc.) accidents, disease, mental illness, suicide, murder, war, terrorism, and death.  I am still sober, and I am taking antidepressants.  I am less depressed than when I was drinking and not taking antidepressants, but, obviously, I still feel this way.
 

Garbage Society

 
I can only speak for the American society, because that is where I have lived my entire life, but I suspect societies in other nations are quite similar.
Nature is perfect.  Nature is beautiful.  Sure, violence exists in nature, and it certainly exists in our society.  But this is a violent world.  It always has been, and it probably always will be.  But our society sucks compared to nature.
Society is very hypocritical.  Murder is a serious crime.  Thou shalt not kill is a commandment.  But animals are killed, unnecessarily, on a massive scale.  It's also okay to kill during war.  In fact, the more foreigners you kill, the more of a hero you are.
Society is not fair.  In the wild, life is more fair than human society.  It's simple: survival of the fittest.  Conservatives like to pretend life in our society is fair, but this is the problem.  Some people are born into a situation in which there is no father and the mother is an abusive crack whore.  Many people are born into situations in which their parent(s) are lazy, stupid, or uncaring.  Other people have parents that are intelligent, successful, and caring.  Perhaps they feel as though if their sons or daughters are failing, then they are failing.
So we're not all dealt the same hand.  I pretty much fall into the middle category.  I am the result of a teenage pregnancy.  I was not wanted.  I was, as my mother once told me, "a mistake."  How am I a mistake, when you're the one that made the mistake?  My father left my mother and me when I was 2 years old.  My mother is stupid, lazy, and uncaring.  I come from a cold family that, I believe, has a history of mental illness.  What I find to be interesting is that I have 3 cousins, and we're all in our 30s and 40s.  None of us have children.  The odds are certainly against that.  I think we all know we come from a crazy family, and we shouldn't pass the insanity on.  People that come from situations like mine (and worse) have lived miserable lives in poverty, prison, and they have committed suicide.
And, of course, there is the treatment of animals.  Humans have decided that animals are here for them to use in any way they see fit.  Again, people don't need to eat meat to survive.  The healthiest foods to eat are veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, beans, and whole grains.  In our capitalistic society, animals are things to make a profit from.  "Food" animals, like pigs and chickens, are crammed into buildings, as many as possible, because that is the way that will make the most money.  They frequently aren't given needed medical care, because it would cost money to alleviate their suffering.
I could go further, but I'm making too many keyboard gaffes, and I'm over it.       

I am not a human being; I'm an animal

I hereby officially renounce my human status.  I am no longer a human.  Hopefully, I will retain my humanly rights.  I'm lucky to not be a pig, chicken, cow, fish, lobster, cow, or turkey.  Obviously, most people don't care about the way these animals are treated.
Which is why I don't want to be a human.  Every single day I'm reminded how insane this "human" society is.  I'm a vegan.  Most people eat meat, which means they don't care about the animals they're eating.  HUMANS DON'T NEED TO EAT MEAT TO SURVIVE.  In fact, it's much healthier to eat vegan whole foods: veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, and whole grains.  Most people procreate, which means they don't care about their sons and daughters.  This is a f**cked-up, violent world.  I love my kids too much to bring them into this world.  There is so much pain, misery, and suffering in this world.  To continue this cycle of misery is practically the definition of insanity.   
Animals are innocent.  They are following their natural instincts.  They don't understand things the way humans do.  Their societies aren't nearly as crazy as human society is.  They kill because they are hungry or to protect themselves or their young uns.  Obviously, humans are the biggest murderers in the history of the world.  Even the dinosaurs didn't kill at the levels that humans do ("food" animals, the holocaust, war, terrorism).          
I am so crazy, that I briefly considered crawling instead of walking.  I decided against it because it would probably be too painful and uncomfortable (knees on asphalt).
So people don't think they're animals.  That's crazy.  People have so much in common with animals: mouths, heads, teeth, blood, lips, lungs, brains, drinking water, eating food, sleeping, peeing, pooping, living, dying, skin, noses, limbs, etc.  People are animals.  They're just the worst animals to ever walk the Earth.  The most violent.  The most selfish.  The most destructive.  Good riddance.     

I Don't Want to Live in a World...

I don't want to live in a world...
where alcohol exists.
where alcohol doesn't exist.
where cruelty to animals is institutionalized.
where so many people's faces are in their f**king phones.
where depression exists.
where it's socially acceptable to eat meat.
where suicide is among the leading causes of death.
I don’t want to live in a world of “likes” and “favorites.”
in which people want to be terrorists.
in which violence occurs regularly and frequently.
in which money matters to people more than the lives of animals.
in which I’m allergic to cats, dogs, and hogs (and I am).
in which war exists.
in which people claim to be happy, but only if they can believe in imaginary friends (god, jesus).
in which people who believe in imaginary friends can call ME crazy.
in which rodeos, which feature cruelty to animals, are considered to be entertainment.
in which people have all the rights (freedom and safety from violence) & animals have almost none.
where pain exists.
where poop exists.
where pee pee exists.
where blood is spilled everyday.
where people are forcing many animals to live horrible lives in intense captivity.
where intimidation and brutality thrives every day.
where people bring other people & animals into a world of violence and misery every day.
in which unfathomable suffering (animal and human) occurs each and every day.
in which animals are murdered on a massive scale every day.
in which the strong (humans) mostly agree that they should brutalize the weak (animals).

I'm a Mess

It's true.  I'm a mess.  I don't fit into this world.  I'm not the normal person, and I don't want to be.  The normal person gets married, brings children into this wicked world, and aspires to have the best landscaping on their block.  And, of course, they want to have more money than anyone they know.  I must be crazy, I think the life of one mouse is worth more than all the money in the world, and I stand by that sentiment.
By the way, I was sure about it, and now I'm super-sure about it.  It is cruel for people to bring people and animals into this world.  This is why.  Animals bring other animals into the world, and that's fine.  They are just following natural instincts and urges.  It's completely possible that no animal has ever made the connection between sex and procreation.  They have sex because they are driven to do so.  But humans know what life has to offer on this planet: pain, depression, suicide, bullying, sickness, disease, suffering, paralysis, loss of limbs, rape, pedophilia, war, murder, violence, incest, torture, terrorism, loss of loved ones, deterioration of mind and body due to aging, and death.  But even though we're aware of all this misery, most of us choose to bring people into the world.  I've never brought anyone into the world, and I'll never want to.  Just because it's been done to me, that doesn't make it okay for me to do it to someone else.  I suppose that's what a lot of biological parents are thinking.  "It's good enough for me, so it's good enough for you."     
I can't believe I forgot to post last week.  It was shocking for me to realize that.  I blame being a mess and drinking on that.
I survive mostly for the sake of others.  I am ready to die.  I think life sucks; it's a lot more unhappiness than happiness.  But I try to survive, because I want to help animals, many of whom are living in a hell that's much worse than mine.  I also want to convince people to not bring other people and animals into this world of pain, misery, and violence.  So I have a reason to live, but how much pain can I endure?    

9/11 in Manhattan

This is where I watched 9/11 happen in New York.

             “A plane just flew into one of the twin towers!” Kelly exclaimed.  She had just opened the door to the apartment after having walked our dog Henry. 

            That was how I woke up on September 11, 2001.  I loved those buildings.  From our apartment, it took about twenty minutes for me to walk down there.  Sometimes I walked down by the Hudson River and crossed the pedestrian bridge at Stuyvesant High School.  Most of the time, I paused on the steps to the street to take a long look at the twin towers.  I marveled at their size and symmetry.  I gazed at them frequently.  Walking around New York, buildings often block your view of other buildings.  Whenever I could see them, I drank them in.

            "What?" I uttered.

            "This plane was flying really low.  It was very loud!  I was talking to this woman, who was also walking her dog, and we both heard it and looked up at it.  Then we heard this loud explosion and saw that it had hit the World Trade Center!" she said.

            I immediately got out of bed, put some clothes on, and went down to the east corner of our block.  There it was: the gaping, smoking hole in the building that was left by the first plane.  I stared at it, along with other people who had stopped at the same street corner to look at it.  After giving Henry some food, Kelly joined me.

            “Wow.  What if a terrorist had been flying that plane?” I asked Kelly.

            “Wow,” she said.

            We continued to stare at it.  We were transfixed by what we saw.

            "Does anyone know how it happened?" a man from our corner group asked.

            "A plane hit it," Kelly replied.

            "I don't know about that," said another guy at the corner.  "I didn't see a plane hit it."

            "Well I did," said Kelly.

            This guy continued to verbally doubt that a plane had hit the building.

            We were looking at the burning building when a huge explosion occurred on the face of the other building.  One of the things I'll never forget about that explosion, from seeing it on the street, is the huge fireball that slowly rose and poof!  It disappeared.

            Our corner group reacted to that.  I went back inside, grabbed my camera, and took pictures of the burning buildings.  Equally interesting to me are the people who were caught by my camera's eye, who were on the street watching the buildings.

            "It was a plane!  I saw it!" said one of the men on our corner about the most famous explosion in world history.  Strangely, he had a smile on his face when he said that.

            It was confirmed that we were under attack.  I looked down and kicked the concrete below me.  I was an angry American.  Not only was this my country, but it was my city and my favorite buildings.

            Our group became larger as more people stopped to watch.

            "There's niggas inside there?" a man asked.

            Kelly and I looked at him and nodded.

            "Oh, shit!" he exclaimed.

            I saw some people on the street who were laughing.  I saw a woman running uptown; she was crying.  I saw our downstairs neighbor, Danny.

            "Hey, Danny," I said.

            This little old man was angry.  "Can you believe this?  They hit the Pentagon, too!" he said.

            That was news to us.  We followed him into our apartment building like zombies.  It was time to turn on the television.  We were freaking out.  What if more planes are headed to New York?  What if one of our planes shoots one down, and it crash lands on Manhattan and kills us?  Those thoughts were running through my mind.

            Poor Henry seemed to be confused and troubled.  I remember him looking at me.  He knew that Kelly and I were upset, but we weren't fighting.

            The phone rang.  Kelly picked it up.  "Hello?" she said.  "Oh, hi Doug!  I know!  So I assume that the store is closed until further notice.  Okay.  Good-bye."  She hung up the phone.  "The store is closed until further notice," she said to me.  That meant I had the day off from work.

            When the towers fell, I was shitting: literally.  I felt like I didn't have the luxury of being glued to the TV set; we might have to run for our lives.  I better take care of business while I have a chance to.  I've never been more afraid for my life before or since.  Upon exiting the bathroom, I realized that Kelly had gone out.  I went out as well.  While standing on LaGuardia Place, I saw World Trade Center Building 7 collapse.  More cries from the witnesses were heard.

            A white man, who appeared to be in his late fifties or early sixties, passed by on a bicycle.  "Deport every Arab.  Kill every Arab you see," he was chanting to whoever might be listening.

            "Shut the hell up!" a voice yelled loudly from behind me.

            The man on the bike shut up.

            I turned in the direction that the angry voice had come from.  I saw a young man with an olive complexion return my glance with furious eyes.

            I saw a man jogging shortly after the Towers fell.  That's a man who's serious about his exercise.  I suppose that would make some people angry: not me.  I exercise four days a week without exception.  It's important to me.  Besides, if he had nothing to do with the attacks, then why hate him for jogging?

            What bothered me was seeing a man and woman, both in their twenties and dressed in black, riding bicycles on Bleecker Street right after the Towers fell.  They looked like East Village bohemians.  They were smiling and laughing, and they seemed to be completely unaware of the catastrophe that was only a twenty-minute walk away.  Oh, you're so different from everybody else, aren't you?  You're so cool.

            Kelly and I got dinner from a Chinese restaurant and ate it in front of the television.  We were listening to an interview with a man who had escaped from one of the Towers.  He was covered in dust, and he was telling the story of how he had survived.

            "As I was going down the stairs, I passed by handicapped people who were waiting for someone to help them," he said before choking up.

            Kelly and I both cried for the first time that day.

            The next day, like many people all over the world, we continued to watch television coverage of 9/11.  The phone rang.  Kelly answered it.

            "Hello?  Hi, Doug," she said.  She became very angry.  "Are you serious?!" she yelled.

            "Give me the phone," I said to her.  She had just yelled at my boss.

            "Hi, Zach," Doug said.  "We are opening the store today."

            "Okay," I replied.  It was Wednesday, one of my scheduled work days.

            Kelly was really pissed off.  She thought it was a terrible idea to open the bookstore the day after 9/11.  I understood why she felt that way.  You're living on a small island, and the day after thousands of people were murdered on that island, you're going back to business as usual.  In fairness, Lynn and Doug, the owners of the store, opened it seven days a week.  They probably reopened it out of habit.  I was concerned about the fires that were raging fairly close to my home.  In retrospect, it was very unlikely that the fires would be allowed to spread that far.  At the time, though, I was still a little shell-shocked.  I was thinking, okay, I'll go to work.  However, if I need to leave, to help Kelly evacuate, I won't hesitate.

            Doug had told Lynn about Kelly yelling at him over the phone.  She was angry at Kelly.  "Wouldn't you rather be here than watching TV?" she asked me.

            No, I thought.  "Yes," I said.

            The store was busy that day.  It annoyed me.  It’s the day after 9/11, and you're shopping?  We had no break room to eat our lunches in.  We would just sit in a corner of the store and eat.  Sometimes we had to move because we were blocking books that a customer wanted to browse.  Frequently, we had to stop eating to help a customer.  It was pretty annoying, but at least it was paid time.  Once again, my lunch was interrupted by someone who needed help finding a book.  This time, I was more irritated than usual.  I have to be here.  Why are you here?  I know that a lot of people demonize television, but aren't you interested in what's going on in the world today?

            I’ve heard people say, "Never forget what happened on 9/11!"

            I couldn't forget it if I tried.  I think about it nearly every day.  Even after that day, I would still look in the direction of the Towers, hoping to see them.  Ground Zero burned for months.  One night, there was ash on the sidewalk in front of our apartment building that looked like snow.  It’s still a little hard for me to believe that it all really happened.  I'm somewhat obsessed with 9/11.  I have magazines and newspapers from the day after.  I've recorded lots of documentaries about it.

            I love music: especially heavy metal.  The next CD I wanted to buy was Beneath the Remains by Sepultura.  Before I went into the Sam Goody store that used to be on Sixth Avenue near Eighth Street, I looked south toward Ground Zero.  The familiar plume of smoke emanating from there was drifting toward New Jersey.  This is a pretty morbid title to be purchasing, considering what happened down there.  Should I buy it?  Sure, I thought.  I had nothing to do with those attacks, nor would I ever do anything like that.  I bought it.  Besides, if I hadn't bought it, then the terrorists would have won, right? 

            I walked down to Ground Zero while it was still burning.  I was very familiar with the route I took, it was the circumstances that had changed drastically.  I came as close as I could, and in doing so joined a small group that had gathered at the gates of hell.  Two cops were there to keep anyone from getting any closer.  They appeared to be quite irritated.  Traffic was also blocked from coming any closer to Ground Zero.  A man walked onto the street so he could get a better picture with his camera.

            “Get out of the street!” yelled one of the cops angrily at the man with the camera.

            “Okay,” he said, while snapping another photo.

            “Get out of the street or you’re going to be arrested!” shouted the cop.

            That did it.  The man went back to the corner, where we were looking at a building that had tons of steel and other debris on top of it.  That was all we could really see, but it was an incredible sight nonetheless.  A woman went into the street to snap a photo or two.  Apparently, you could see a little more from the street.

            “Get out of the street now!” the other cop roared.

            “Okay,” she said.  She continued to take pictures.

            “Do you want to go to jail?!” he shouted.

            “No,” she replied.  She went back to the corner.

            “These people are pathetic,” one cop said to the other, who agreed with him.

            I disagree.  I can’t speak for the rest of the people on that corner, but I was there to see part of an unbelievable moment in world history.  I believe that 9/11 is the most incredible day in human history.  You almost can’t overstate the importance of 9/11.  Who knows?  It may turn out to be the beginning of the end of our world.  It led directly to one American war, and, as many people have alleged, it made the war in Iraq possible.  How many people have died in these wars?  How many people have been killed in the war on terror?  As for the cops, instead of being angry at us, they should have directed their anger at those who were responsible for planning and carrying out the attacks. 

            Life must go on though.  9/11 happened on a Tuesday.  Kelly took the rest of the week off from work.  After all, she had seen all the major events in New York with her own eyes: not through the filter of television.

            Weeks later, I was working at the store with my coworker Jose.  The phone rang.  Jose picked it up. 

            "Memoir Bookshop," he said.  His demeanor suddenly became serious.  "It's started?  Okay.  We'll turn on the radio.  Thanks.  Bye-bye."  He hung up.  He turned on the radio and twisted the knob to find the station that he wanted.

            "We're attacking Afghanistan," he declared.

            "Wow," I said.

            Some of the customers heard that exchange.  "Excuse me, what did you say?" a lady asked.

            "The military is attacking Afghanistan," Jose replied.

            Some of the people in the store displayed fear on their faces.  They knew our country was heading down a dangerous road.  I'm sure they knew that a response to 9/11 was inevitable, but it seemed like they weren't quite ready for it.

Suicide Should Be Easy

 
I wonder if, in the future, we'll be able to go to one of many stores, show proof that we're 21 years old or older, and then purchase pills that are specifically made to kill us.  If we choose to, that evening, before going to bed, we can swallow those pills and die a peaceful and painless death in our sleep.  I firmly believe we should have this option.  There are exceptions, though.  If you're a biological parent, then you shouldn't be allowed to buy such pills, because you have one or more sons and/or daughters to take care of.  Similarly, you also shouldn't be able to buy them if you have one or more pets to take care of.
I wish I could swallow some pills or push a button and end my pain.  I don't want to wake up tomorrow.  Yet I find it difficult to commit suicide.  I've tried it before.  I attempted to hang myself, but my toes were touching the floor after I stepped off the step ladder, so I was able to get out of it, and I did.  Life sucks.  If you think life is good, then you're either lucky, or a total moron.
Only the living suffer.  If you think the dead suffer, then you might be a brain-dead imbecile.
F religion.  God never existed.  God was created out of fear and ignorance.
To me, this world is backwards.  The average person believes in god, brings children into this f-upped world, and eats meat.  It's like a Twilight Zone episode.  Why believe in god?  There's not a shred of evidence.  Is he supposed to be looking out for us?  Then how do you explain war, genocide, murder, rape, child molestation, assault, and so on?  This is a very messed-up world.  There is so much pain and misery in this world, that you couldn't possibly measure it.  And why would you eat meat?  You don't need to.  You'd be better off if you ate fruits, veggies, beans, nuts, seeds, and whole grains.  Why terrorize the creatures that share the world with us?  It's because humans are the worst animals to ever walk this planet: violent, selfish, brutal, and greedy.

And, as I've written before, this goes out to anyone who isn't disabled, a child, afflicted with a horrible disease, or elderly.  It goes out to the average person.   

Start Caring

Viva las groundhogs!

It's so clear that most people don't care about animals beyond pets.  God forbid they control what they eat, if they did, then we might cease to be a nation where most of the citizens are overweight.  When you eat meat, in many cases, not only do you not care about the animals you're eating, you also don't care about your own health.  Things are completely backward.  People would rather be fat and unhealthy than stop eating meat and improve their health.
As one of the minority of people that loves all the animals, including mice and rats, I feel the need to voice my opinion.  I believe that animals should have the same rights as we do when it comes to freedom and protection from being beaten and killed.  People like me will never be content until it's a crime to attack any animal.
If you can't quit eating meat, first of all, you're weak.  Second of all, if you eat meat and you're fat, then you deserve to be fat.  Thirdly, if you eat meat, and you've gotten heart disease or cancer, then it's possible that you deserve it.  There are exceptions.  I would not say such things about disabled people and children.  But if you eat meat, then you are actively supporting cruelty to animals, and you deserve whatever bad karma is coming to you.
Here are examples of places of evil: butcher shops, steakhouses, and fur shops.  I hope that all businesses that profit off the exploitation of animals will go out of business as soon as possible.
I'm anti-violence.  As long as murder is against the law, it would \make sense that war is illegal as well.  Killing is killing.  We'll give Johnny a medal because he killed a bunch of Arabs in the Middle East.  But when Johnny comes home with PTSD and kills his family, that's where we draw the line.  I've never owned a gun, and I plan to never own one.  I bet the odds of getting a chance to successfully use a gun to shoot an intruder in your home are astronomical.  But people say this is why they need guns.  People who own guns are much more likely to shoot themselves: either accidentally or on purpose.
Every single day, an incredible amount of violence and cruelty is inflicted upon countless animals by people.  It's gotten to the point where I don't bother bugs in my home.  If you feel the need to kill every bug you see in your home, then you may be a real coward.  I'm not afraid of bugs.  Why are you?  There are exceptions.  I have seen spiders, then gone online to see if they were dangerous.  I knew a guy who was badly hurt by a brown recluse spider bite.  So as long as the bugs aren't potentially dangerous, I will not hurt them.

Peace is the Way

Lovable furball.

Wouldn't you rather be like Gandhi or Martin Luther King, Jr, than Hitler or Stalin?  War makes me ashamed to be human.  Animals only kill when they feel they need to; when survival is at stake.  Humans are hypocritical enough to say that murder is a sin and a gravely serious crime, yet do it in a war and you're a hero.  Smoke some towel heads and we'll give you a medal.  What hypocrisy!  I said that to someone and he got pissed off because he had served in the armed forces.  That's a great side to take: pro war, pro destruction, and pro killing. 
People love to mention Hitler when it comes to explaining why war is sometimes necessary.  Hitler would not have been able to do as much damage as he did if he did not have access to the tools of war: tanks, guns, battleships, warplanes, and so on.   
We are a bad-tempered breed.  I always suspected that some of the people who join the military do so because they want to kill people.  Last year, I watched a documentary about an American soldier that fought in Afghanistan.  There was a scene where he interviewed to become a marine.  He was asked why he wanted to be a marine.  He said he wanted to be a marine so he could kill people.  One of the soldiers interviewing him said something like, "Well, that's the best answer I ever heard."  How psychotic.  I wonder how well I'd do trying to impress potential employers by letting them know that I'd like to kill people.  How freaking savage.   
War is stupid and people are stupid.  It's time to get rid of it.  We cannot consider ourselves to be civilized as long as war is being waged.
I can't help thinking about the animals that are killed in wars.  I hate when the police and military train dogs to do their dirty work.  How dare they.  The dogs don't understand the risk: the danger.  It's so wrong to exploit them like that.  Dogs trust us instinctually.  Their trust shouldn't be exploited.  Leave dogs out of wars.  Just feed them, give them water and any needed medical care, pet them, hug them, and love them, because that's what they deserve.