Antinatalism

It's been a while. As I've mentioned previously, I've been more active on Twitter, & the account is here: https://twitter.com/TheBaldVegan In fact, I've been sort of addicted to the instant gratification one can get from posting there.
It was there that I recently discovered the word "antinatalism." This is from Wikipedia:
"Antinatalism is a philosophical position that assigns a negative value to birth. Antinatalists argue that people should refrain from procreation because it is immoral. In scholarly and in literary writings, various ethical foundations have been adduced for antinatalism.  Some of the earliest surviving formulations of the idea that it would be better not to have been born come from ancient Greece.  The term "antinatalism" is in opposition to the term "natalism" or "pro-natalism", and was used probably for the first time as the name of the position by Théophile de Giraud (born 1968) in his book L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste."
So those who know me from here know that I am an antinatalist.  It turns out that there are quite a few people like me. I didn't know that.  It seemed like I was surrounded by breeders.  Of course I am, but there is a whole community of people who, like me, think it's cruel to bring someone into this world of pain, fear, misery, violence, suffering, addiction, depression, suicide, death, disease, disabilities, hostility, stupidity, frustration, etc.
I'm still not working on my next book. I have no hope that anyone will have any interest in it, so it seems like a waste of time.  

Contempt

I find it very difficult to live in this society, because I have contempt for
-mentally-competent adults that selfishly support animal cruelty by buying meat, leather, fur, etc.
-mentally-competent adults that have procreated
-mentally-competent adults that have brought animals into this world
-mentally-competent adults that spend a lot of time with their faces in their smartphones.
So, once again, obviously, I am not targeting children or the mentally disabled.  I get along with the sorts of people I have just mentioned, mostly because I have to.  I get along quite well with a coworker who eats meat and has kids.  I like her.  Interestingly, we were talking one day, and she admitted, unsolicited, that life is shitty.  Do you regret having kids?  That's the question I wanted to ask but didn't.  I need to do whatever I need to do to get through the day at work.  If I hated, and scowled at, all my coworkers that eat meat, have procreated, and have their faces in their phones every chance they get, I'd be hated.  I have no friends, so I need to try to get along with my coworkers as well as I can.  But whenever I see them eating meat, or hear them talking about their favorite meat dishes, I can feel the contempt bubbling up inside me.  Likewise when I see them with (or hear them talking about) their kids.  Seeing them with their faces in their phones reminds me of the contempt too.
So, again, leaving it all for the wilderness seems like a good idea.  I wouldn't have to be around people I have contempt for.  But the same issues come to mind: bugs bugging me, lack of heat, showers, and toilet paper.  It seems like I can't win.     

No Right to Complain!

Another shitty day: literally.  Once again, I started work at 6:00 am: so early.  Because of OCD, I get up at 4:09 am when I have to be at work at 6.  I need the extra time to wipe my ass, which I do excessively: even when I'm on antidepressants, which are supposed to help with such compulsions.  What can I say?  I hate shit; it's gross.  I almost never get all the shit out of me before I have to leave for work at 5:40 am.  I hate shitting and wiping, but I REALLY hate to do it anywhere besides my home.  It's an OCD thing.  So I frequently end up holding my shit in at work on days I start working at 6.  This day was no different.  It can be quite uncomfortable.  But unless it's an absolute emergency, I will hold it in: even if it's a lot of shit.
It was a busy day at work, which reminded me that I wanted to write this, so I'll get to the point.  If you have brought a child into this world, and you are waiting in line (at a store, for instance) or you are stuck in traffic, then you have no right to complain!  A line at a register in a store, traffic, these are the results of overpopulation!  And you have either contributed it by having kids or you haven't (like me).  You did the typical thing.  You wanted a little baby to cheer you up, and that mattered more than your concern about all the horrible things that could happen to your baby.  You also don't have the right to complain about overpopulation.  I heard Al Gore, on TV, complaining about overpopulation.  My first thought was "hypocrite!"  Al Gore has 4 kids!  He's contributed to the overpopulation of this planet 4 times!  Shut the fuck up!  You have no credibility when it comes to this issue! 
Then I came home, and my neighbors were playing their TV very loudly.  I'm glad they're leaving at the end of the month, but who will replace them?  What do you prefer: the devil you know or the devil you don't know?  They could be worse.       

A Lesser Conspiracy

A day off from work (one day off after working six straight days, then back to work tomorrow), and, once again, there are all these options and choices to make.  There are two books I could work on.  I could try to promote Veganman (Which has, as they say, a niche: in this case, people who are angry about animal cruelty.), which is here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZSHNT5I
But it's Sunday, which means that two of the radio stations I listen to regularly, because they play no commercials, will play gospel music, which I hate.  I'm sure I don't hate all gospel music, just the sort they play, because it's overtly religious.  In fact, in my massive music collection, I have both satanic and Christian metal.  I just care about how it sounds; I don't care about the lyrical content; as long as it isn't anti-animal.  And of course I wouldn't support a satanic band that had been cruel to animals (beyond the usual meat eating and leather wearing).  In fact, years ago, when I was reading reviews to decide which metal CD I was going to buy next, I came across a band called Pig Destroyer.  Based on what I had read, I was very interested in their album, Terrifyer.  The name of the band bothered me, though.  If it was about the pigs (the animals) then I wouldn't buy any of their stuff.  I tried to find out why they named their band that.  I finally found it in an interview.  One of the band members said they wanted to call it Cop Destroyer, but decided against it, because it was a little too extreme (Their music is quite extreme.).  Once I read that, I was all clear to buy the album, which is great.  I don't advocate destroying cops, but at least they know what they're getting into with that job, and they are given training, support, and weapons with which to defend themselves, whereas pigs have virtually no protection from bloodthirsty, meat-eating humans.
But I digressed.  The lesser, compared to animal cruelty and procreation, conspiracy is religion.  I call it a lesser conspiracy, because I'm much less passionate about this issue than I am about the other two, though religion is certainly responsible for its share of death and destruction.  God was created out of fear and ignorance.  The more time passes, the less need we have for god, because it should be obvious that there's no big guy in the sky who has our backs, and science gradually reduces our ignorance about worldly matters.
Belief in god is one of the three obvious (to me) things that society is backwardly wrong about.  Socially acceptable animal cruelty and procreation are the others.  The only good excuses for believing in god are being a child, being stupid, or having a mental illness.  Religion is ridiculous.  In thousands of years of human existence, there is no proof that god exists: not a shred.  People, perhaps, have been dead for a few minutes and come back to life.  But has anybody been dead OVERNIGHT (like Jesus) and come back to life?  In addition to the reasons just mentioned, I think believing in this shit means one is either chickenshit or a follower.  Some believe because they are following others.  Some believe because they can't handle life without the big guy in the sky "protecting" them.
Some lie about believing.  In America, you need to say you believe in god in order to be elected president of the country, which I think is obviously backward.  If you believe in imaginary friends, then that's a very good reason why you SHOUDLN'T be president of a country.  I resent my mother forcing me to go to church every week when I was a kid.  I consider it to be brainwashing.  "Try to put belief in god into them when they're young:" an insidious plan.  The way I see it, in church, I was surrounded by adults who were, in addition to the backwards believers, liars.  Of course, it is widely acceptable for parents to lie to their children.  It is customary for them to lie about (spoiler alert!) Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and the Easter bunny.  In fact, many parents would be very angry if I told the TRUTH to their young children about Santa Claus.  How dare you tell the truth to my child!  How dare you expose my lie!  It's just another example of how backwards this society is.
Belief in god is a sort of drug.  It's a break from reality, which is what drugs offer (but don't really deliver).  It is insulting to me that, because I have depression, I'm considered to be mentally ill, but someone who believes that there is an all-powerful guy with a beard hanging out in the clouds isn't.  It makes sense to be depressed.  Watch the news.  Go to your shitty job.  It doesn't make sense to believe in nonsense.  Once again, backward.
God, if you really exist, then prove it to me.  I work with a beautiful young woman that I would love to fuck (If you exist, then you know who I mean.).  If she asks me out and tells me that she loves me, and, if I come home from work to find $100 billion dollars in my apartment, then I will believe in you.  Deal?  

Pros & Cons

Pros & Cons lists can be helpful.  I have made them before.  As I have mentioned, I am indecisive, so such lists can help me make decisions.  This one is about relationships.
Cons-
There are at least several cons associated with being in a relationship with a woman.  Since this recently happened, I will address it now; this weakened, debris (I think they were bricks.) fell off a truck in front of me.  I believe my car ran over at least one brick as a result.  I have told myself that I should avoid driving behind cars or trucks that are carrying stuff, because stuff is always falling off such vehicles and onto the road, but I suppose I thought I was far enough behind this truck: obviously not.  Any moron can load a truck with stuff, but many of them won't do it properly, and will put other drivers at risk as a result.  I checked my car, but there seems to be no damage.  I got most of the license plate number of the truck and called 911 anyway.  The point of this in regards to a relationship is that a relationship means going out more, which leads to more driving.  All sorts of horrible things can happen when we drive: accidents, hitting animals, dealing with road rage, etc.
One of the biggest cons associated with being in a relationship is not being able to be who I am.  I am real.  Using the woman that wants to go on a date with me as an example, as I mentioned, she only keeps her "positive" friends.  I'm not "positive;" I'm real.  I don't' consider myself to be a pessimist; I prefer the term "realist."  As a matter of fact, I've already thought of so many cons here, that I think I shouldn't be phony with her at all.  I shouldn't hide who I am at all from her (or any potential girlfriend), because it could just result in wasted time.
That's the next con: wasted time.  Perhaps my time would be better spent writing, or reading, than being with a woman.  There is a finite amount of time in one's life to create.  Should I allow a woman to chip away at that?
Wasted money is another con.  I come from a very thrifty family.  I like to save money.  I don't' like to spend it.  I pretty much only spend it on necessities.  I don't want to spend it on a woman.
As I've mentioned, I think sex is disgusting.  That being said, I'm a human animal that is hardwired to want it, and I do.  The vaj is only a few inches away from the bunghole, which is so gross.  Women poop, and that is disgusting.  I know, I poop too, and I fully admit I'm disgusting.  Making out is gross: exchanging saliva with someone.
I love metal.  I have to be able to listen to it.  Most people, especially women, don't' like metal.
She looks good in the picture, but the woman who asked me out recently is lying in some grass in one of her photos.  My thoughts eventually went to Lyme disease, which I recently wrote about here.  Did she check herself for ticks after lying in the grass?  Lying in the grass is basically an invitation for ticks to bite into your flesh.  I will have to talk to her about ticks and Lyme disease if things progress between us, because I don't want her to transfer a Lyme-disease-ridden tick to me.
I have mentioned here that I am a slob.  I hate to clean, and I only do approximately the minimum amount of it.  If she came over and saw my apartment the way it is now, she would probably lose interest in me immediately.  So I would have to clean for her, which is both a pro and con.  I'm not happy with the filthiness of my home, so if she inspired me to do extra cleaning, that would be a good thing.  On the other hand, it seems like I'm content to be a lazy slob.
I'd have to do more laundry, and I hate it.  I'm content to wear dirty clothes, as long as I think people won't smell them (I admitted that I'm disgusting.).
The woman who asked me out eats meat, and that is a big problem.  Should I compromise who I am as I vie for nookie?  She suggested that we go to a vegetarian restaurant, and it is good that she is sensitive to the issue.  But anyone who knows this blog knows I am very passionate about this issue.  I am willing to get into a very loud argument about it, because, again, it is simply wrong to support animal cruelty by buying meat and leather. 
The woman who asked me out also has kids.  Again, people who know this blog know how I feel about procreation.  So, you see, I'm concerned about all the things that she wouldn't like about ME, when I, quite frankly, have 2 very important issues with her (and many people).           

Pros-
For some reason, when the dating website I frequent sends me an email with potential matches for me, I look at it, and I contact some of them.  I suppose I wouldn't do that if I didn't want to be with a woman.
Companionship is important, and aside from talking to coworkers a little, I don't have it in my life.
Touching is important, and aside from petting dogs a little at work, I don't have it in my life.
They say these things are quite necessary when it comes to combatting depression.  
 

The Second-Worst Conspiracy

The second-worst conspiracy is procreation.  There are way too many people in the world.  The law of supply and demand states that the more there is of something, the less the item in question will be worth.  This applies to people as well.
Trillions, quadrillions (or more), people throughout the years, have essentially said, "Sure, life sucks.  It's hard.  It's more shit than sugar.  Maybe, if I brought a baby into the world, that would cheer me up.  And then, when I'm old, too old to take care of myself, then that baby, now an adult, will take care of me; sign me up!  Yeah, sure, in this dangerous, violent world, all sorts of horrible things can happen to my child, but my parents did it to me!  If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for my child.  In fact, it's a kind of revenge.  Someone brought me into this hellhole to suffer, and now it's my right to do it to someone else!"  How much pain and misery has this course of action led to?
Think for a second about how the quality of life has sucked throughout the years.  Imagine life without electricity, toilets, running water in the home, or cars.  It was REALLY shitty to bring people into a world in which those things did not exist.  But procreation is still a very shitty thing to do.  I'm not going to list all the things that are wrong with this world; I've done that over and over again.  It's a very long list.  At anytime, you could be struck by a serious illness, you could be the victim of a nasty car accident, and so on.  SUICIDE IS CONSISTENTLY A LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH.  Doesn't that tell you a lot about human existence?
Even at its best, life sucks.  There's always the pooping, ass wiping, and pissing.  Things haven't been going too badly for me lately.  It looks like I'm going to have a date with a woman I met online, although there are tons of reasons why things wouldn't work out between her and I.  She mentioned, in her dating profile, that she only keeps her "positive" friends.  Well, if she reads this blog, I'm in trouble!  She also doesn't like "loud, crazy" music, and I do.  Maybe I've been feeling better because I recently purchased healthcare, so I know that will begin 1/1/18.  I also have an old prescription for antidepressants, so, if I'm willing to pay over $100 for a months' worth, I can do that.  But there is still the shitty, boring job.  There's no getting away from the knowledge that, considering my age, I make, and I have saved, very little money.  I am a loser in this society.  That's me.  It is what I am: my place in society.  There is still the need to make so many decisions. What should I be doing with my time?  I'm indecisive.  I don't like too many choices and decisions, which is what life in this society consists of.  Inevitably, there's guilt over not doing this, or not doing that.     
I mentioned that some people seem to be addicted to having kids.  I haven't had cable TV for years, but I know there are reality shows about people who have tons of kids.  People who know this blog could probably figure out that I'm disgusted by such people.  But my parents only had one kid, and I wish they hadn't.  I've already experienced too much pain and misery; I shudder to think what the future holds. 

Words

Words are all you have.  The only way in which you make sacrifices are with the words you use.  You have criticized me, plenty of times, for things I have said.  You are a politically correct pussy in that regard.  But you're not consistent.  You utilize a double standard that favors you every time.  One day, you'll yell at me for something I said.  The next, you'll say something that's essentially the same thing, but you said it, and that makes it okay, because you, according to you, are perfect.
It got to the point where, when you would criticize me for something I said, I'd remind you that I haven't spent any money on meat, milk, or eggs since 2002.  I refuse to support the ultra-cruel meat industry, the slaughterhouse.  "That has nothing to do with it," you'd respond.  Oh, but it does.  You say that because you eat meat.  You care much more about yourself than the animals you're eating.  When you buy meat, you're paying people to keep animals in concentration-camp-like conditions.  You're paying them to kill the animals too.  That is much, much, much, much, much worse than anything I can say.  What would you rather deal with?  Someone saying something that you don't like or being put into a concentration camp to suffer until you're murdered?
Then there's another one of my major issues: procreation.  I've never brought someone into this wicked world, but you have.  You have a beautiful young daughter.  You have put photos of her, wearing yoga pants, on Facebook.  Did it ever occur to you that perverts might be drooling over those pictures?  Did it ever occur to you that some of them might stalk her?  I don't care if that's what everybody else is doing; I think it's incredibly stupid.  Now she's off to college.  Have you ever seen the documentary The Hunting Ground?  It's about the huge problem of rape on college campuses.  Have you told her about the date-rape drug, Rohypnol?  She should know about these things. 
I haven't eaten exactly what I want to since 2002.  I've never experienced the joy of holding my own child, because I refuse to bring anyone into this incredibly violent world of pain, misery, and death.  The only sacrifices you make involve not saying certain words.  That's nothing.            

A Solution

They would make great pets.

It occurred to me that there is a solution to a couple of problems that I feel strongly about.  I have gone on, at length, here about how I feel about procreation, and that it is an act of cruelty when humans bring people or animals into this world of violence, pain, and misery.  So instead of bringing babies into this world, how about adopting a pet?  They bring great joy.  Some of my happiest memories are playing with dogs I have known.  Pets improve one's quality of life.  They reduce stress.  All you have to do is pet them and cuddle with them.  People who have pets live longer than those who don't.  They make life better.  And, unfortunately, there are tons of unwanted dogs and cats languishing in shelters.  There's another way of looking at that, though: as an opportunity.  They deserve good homes. 
Perhaps adopt an unconventional pet.  I love it when people have pigs as pets.  It shows people how pigs SHOULD be treated: with love and kindness: not cruelty and violence.  I read that hens make great pets, because they are soft to the touch, and they don't peck.  God knows they have a right to peck us, considering what we've done, and continue to do, to them.   
Of course, you should only adopt a pet if you, and everyone in your home, are willing to treat that animal as well as you possibly can for the rest of his or her life.  If you want to get a pet, but you live with someone who doesn't want one, then that is a problem.  The person who doesn't want the pet could end up being abusive toward him or her if you went through with the adoption.  There's always the possibility of getting rid of the person.
And, obviously, there is the option of adopting a human kid who needs a home.  While I believe that biological parents are selfish, I think that good adoptive (non-biological) parents are heroes.
And the sound of a barking dog just reminded me-be a responsible pet parent.  I was walking by a park the other day.  A couple of proud Canadian geese parents were watching over their babies.  It was a beautiful sight.  But then I saw 2 small dogs, off leash, approaching the area were the baby geese were.  I almost said something to the pet parents.  I hope the dogs didn't' bother the geese.  The poor parents were probably scared as hell for their babies.  I imagine that the goose parents could have scared the dogs away if they needed to, but the pet parents shouldn't let them bother the geese, and that's the point I'm trying to make.   

Double Selfish Monstrosities!

Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!  That was a scream of pain, frustration, and despair.  It's official.  It's happened again.  I dread going to work.  The best thing about my workplace is dogs are allowed to be there.  Also, a very cute little girl with a lot of curly blonde hair recently blew a kiss to me.  So it only sucks 99% of the time.
I don't talk very much to my coworkers, because I don't wish to participate in certain recurring sorts of conversations.  They frequently talk about the meat they like to eat.  What am I supposed to say to that?  "I hope you fucking choke on it" comes to mind.  They also talk about their kids and grandkids.  They show pictures as well.  What do I say to that?  "Now, just how many kids have you brought into this brutal, miserable world to suffer?"  That's what I mean by double selfish monstrosities.  Eating meat is selfish, because it's cruel, and you don't need it to survive.  Bringing babies into this fucked-up, dangerous world is selfish.  Procreating is arguably the most selfish thing you can do.  Or perhaps eating meat is.  They're both way up there.  But, unfortunately, for people and animals alike, it's the norm.  It's typical.  And that's what these people are: typical.  They bore and anger the fuck out of me.      

Disgusted & Depressed

There's no escape.  I've mentioned before here how strongly I feel about two very important issues, and how I feel as though most people are on the wrong side of them.
It's wrong to eat meat.  When you buy meat, you support animal cruelty.  There's no getting around it.  At work, I have to hear coworkers talking about how much they like certain meat dishes.  I'm disgusted by it.  All I hear is "I'm cruel.  I don't care about the animals I'm eating."  I have to see them eating meat.  I watch TV and movies, and it's more of the same.  I'm disgusted by the fact that so many people have gotten together in their cruelty.  They don't think they're cruel, because most people are doing it along with them.  Vegans and vegetarians are few and far between.  Books, the Internet, and the radio aren't safe harbors either.  People content to be cruel to animals are everywhere.  I'd need to live in the wilderness to escape it.  But, like many, I'm addicted to life in this society. 
The other main issue, again, is procreation.  I was watching TV, and I figured I'd check out the independent film that PBS was going to show.  It turned out to be a documentary about the shooting in which all those kids were killed in Newtown, CT.  First of all, I don't want to watch a movie about the murders of a bunch of kids.  They showed clips from it first.  They showed parents of the murdered kids crying and complaining.  I definitely don't want to see that.  I don't feel sorry for any of those parents at all whatsoever.  Didn't it occur to anyone that these parents brought their kids into a very dangerous and violent world in which all sorts of horrible things could happen to them?  Clearly, in this society, it's more important to be a politically correct pussy than it is to be real.  When horrible things happen to kids, I never feel sorry for the parents.  The parents put the kids in harm's way by bringing them into this brutal world.  No one can do anything to my kids, because I've decided to not bring them into this fucked-up world. 
I went to Wal-Mart to see what they would charge me for a month's supply of my prescribed antidepressant: $127.  Not only can I not afford it, it would be depressing just to pay all that money for it.  It's not worth it anyway.  I still felt as though life sucks while I was taking it.  Fuck the greed in this country, and fuck it's piece of shit president: Trump.