Human

 
It occurred to me that I'm not good at being a human being.  I don't like doing many of the things that humans do: driving a car, putting on socks,  putting on shoes, putting on shirts, putting on pants, putting on underwear, taking those things off again, showering, flossing, brushing my teeth, making coffee, cooking, cleaning, dealing with shitty people, receiving bills, paying bills, seeing commercials, seeing ads, working at shitty jobs, applying for shitty jobs, doing laundry, and so on.  I'm not good at making decisions.  When you're a human, there are so many choices to make.  There are so many things to remember.  It's too complicated.
I'm much more of an animal.  I'm good at eating and lying around.  Of course I believe that humans are animals; we have so many things in common with them.  We just happen to be the worst, most destructive, animals to ever walk the Earth.  It's quite possible I'll soon be forced to live like an animal: outside.  Suicide is also an option.  Sometimes I think I'd like to leave this society, but it's hard to imagine life without toilet paper and ass washing.  I know I mentioned I don't like showers, and it's true, but they, like many things, are a necessary evil.
I want to make clear that even though I object to working at any of these places, because they serve meat, I applied for jobs there anyway, becasue I was trying to SURVIVE: McDonald's, Panera Bread, and DiBella's Subs.  I didn't hear back from any of them: no interest whatsoever.  Where's the hope?

Death Culture

 
I'm a bitcher and a moaner.  I'm a sad sack.  Hey, you, don't worry, be happy!  Don't sweat the small stuff (And it's all small stuff!).
Thanks so much.  I feel so much better.
Here's the problem; once again, we have a mass shooting in the U.S.  I've said life sucks.  You're not supposed to say "Life sucks."  You're supposed to turn that frown upside down.  Don't you think these shooters think (or thought) that life sucks?  Maybe, if they didn't think that life sucks, they wouldn't have thrown their f*cking lives away (along with others').  Same thing with terrorists.  If you're living in some shit hole in Afghanistan with nothing, what do you have to lose?  I hate that the image Americans put out is we're all billionaires and millionaires.  It fosters hate.
If you have nothing to lose, and you want to die, you might want to take others with you.  You're gonna die.  You hate society and it's inequities.  Someone who doesn't mind dying, and wants to harm others, is very dangerous and hard to stop.  
I haven't bitched and moaned about this in a while, so it's time.  Obviously, I've been brought into the world, and I resent it every day.  I hate my parents.  They brought me into a world of death, pain, disease, mass shootings, weapons, bullies, terrorism, etc.  I really could go on and on about what's wrong with this society and this world.  All you need to do is go "back in the day" with my posts.  I'm sure I've covered the subject fully.
But, seriously, do you think it's a stretch that virtually all of these mass shooters, not to mention other murder/suicide folks, thought that life sucks?  They probably hated life.  They probably hated it so much that they wanted to take others with them.
This is a world full of violence, pain, and misery, yet people continue to procreate at a rate that I find to be insane.  Biological parents are selfish.  They procreate for their own sake.  They want a baby to cheer them up.  They want a reason to live.  They want a friend.  They want to make someone that will take care of them when they're too old to take care of themselves.
Me?  I've never brought a person or animal into this f*cked-up world, and I'm proud of that every single day.  Unfortunately, it's been done to me.                

This Life Isn't for Everyone

 
In the history of the world, no person or animal has agreed to the terms of existence prior to being brought into it.  This is obvious to many.  However, it is one of the reasons why I haven't brought a person or animal into this world, and I hope I never do.
America is one of the (if not the most) freest countries in the world.  However, only the very wealthy are truly free.  The rest of us must work for a living.  This is also obvious.  But many people don't like their jobs.  Many people hate their jobs.  Not everyone can be a successful rock star, movie star, or professional athlete.  So most of us aren't really free.
Working at a job you dislike or hate isn't for everyone.  When biological parents, who aren't very wealthy, bring their sons and daughters into this world, they're forcing them to live a certain way.  Their children will have to go to school.  They will have to behave themselves.  At a certain point, they will have to enter the workforce.
A lot people can't "hack" working at a job they hate.  They try, but they just can't do it.  It's just not for them.  What happens to these people?  They become homeless.  They turn to a life of crime, and, as a result, end up dead or in prison.  And they commit suicide.  Suicide is always a leading cause of death.  In the U.S., there are more suicides than homicides.  Since 9/11, more U.S. soldiers have committed suicide than have been killed in the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.
I'm living a life of rejection.  I've been let go from lots of jobs.  I apply for jobs.  But, probably becasue I've been out of work for a long time, I remain unemployed.  I didn't ask for this life.  I did not sign up for this.  I did not give my permission to be brought into this world and deal with all the crap that one has to deal with.  When I apply for jobs, I'm competing with lots of other people for them.  This is a result of overpopulation.  I haven't contributed to the problem of overpopulation, but I must deal with the consequences regardless.
Alcohol is a demon.  I have depression.  I realize alcohol is a depressant.  Therefore, I should not drink.  I am less depressed when I don't drink.  On the other hand, I enjoy drinking.  But, once the drinking is done, the depression sets in.  These are some real problems I face:
I don't want to drink, but I don't want to be sober.
I don't want to live, but I don't want to kill myself.                     

I'm a Mess

It's true.  I'm a mess.  I don't fit into this world.  I'm not the normal person, and I don't want to be.  The normal person gets married, brings children into this wicked world, and aspires to have the best landscaping on their block.  And, of course, they want to have more money than anyone they know.  I must be crazy, I think the life of one mouse is worth more than all the money in the world, and I stand by that sentiment.
By the way, I was sure about it, and now I'm super-sure about it.  It is cruel for people to bring people and animals into this world.  This is why.  Animals bring other animals into the world, and that's fine.  They are just following natural instincts and urges.  It's completely possible that no animal has ever made the connection between sex and procreation.  They have sex because they are driven to do so.  But humans know what life has to offer on this planet: pain, depression, suicide, bullying, sickness, disease, suffering, paralysis, loss of limbs, rape, pedophilia, war, murder, violence, incest, torture, terrorism, loss of loved ones, deterioration of mind and body due to aging, and death.  But even though we're aware of all this misery, most of us choose to bring people into the world.  I've never brought anyone into the world, and I'll never want to.  Just because it's been done to me, that doesn't make it okay for me to do it to someone else.  I suppose that's what a lot of biological parents are thinking.  "It's good enough for me, so it's good enough for you."     
I can't believe I forgot to post last week.  It was shocking for me to realize that.  I blame being a mess and drinking on that.
I survive mostly for the sake of others.  I am ready to die.  I think life sucks; it's a lot more unhappiness than happiness.  But I try to survive, because I want to help animals, many of whom are living in a hell that's much worse than mine.  I also want to convince people to not bring other people and animals into this world of pain, misery, and violence.  So I have a reason to live, but how much pain can I endure?    

I hate pooping!

Nothing to do with pooping, but it should be seen.

Oh!  I hate pooping so much!  The thrill is gone, and it's been gone for a long time now.  Although, I never get tired of looking at my poop.  I could look at my poop forever and ever and ever and ever.  I hate wiping my ass; that's for sure!  I have OCD, and one of the ways it manifests itself is with excessive ass wiping.  I will wipe, wipe, wipe until I see NOTHING (except for blood, which I've seen on toilet paper plenty of times after wiping) on the toilet paper. 
What a waste of time it is!  I've spent so much of my life pooping and wiping my ass.  Some people are really into juicing.  I Googled, "If you only drink juice, will you still poop?"  The answer, unfortunately, is yes.  The consensus was that you'll have a little, wet poop, but you will poop.  It seems like there's just no way around pooping.  It is a necessary evil.
Also as a result of OCD, I hate pooping anywhere but my home.  I hate pooping regardless, but I despise doing it anywhere else but home.  Public restrooms are gross.  I barely tolerate peeing there.  Those places are germ festivals.  I wear long-sleeved shirts: even in the summer.  The main reason I do it is becasue it covers my arms, so I don't have to put sunscreen on them, which saves both time and money.  But there's another advantage as well.  Whenever I have to grab a handle to enter or exit a public restroom, I touch it with a shirtsleeve instead of my skin.
Ever think about how much poop comes out of all the asses, human and animal, in one day?  It must be tons' worth.  So much poop.  A crazy amount of poop.  There's no doubt in my mind that people have killed themselves because they didn't want to poop, or wipe, anymore.  It's one more thing about life that sucks.
It's amazing to me that people are so sex crazy.  I'm not.  A beautiful woman looks great, but, first of all, she probably won't be into my bald loser ass, and, secondly, she farts and poops, which is gross.  So keep it all in perspective.  The most beautiful people in the world fart and poop out the stink.  They're just like you and me in that regard.