Frenemy

I'm trying to let go.  I've been thinking obsessively about my former best friend.  As previously mentioned, I have OCD,  He is a very mean, angry person who has yelled and screamed at me many times for no good reason.  He has kicked me out of his house twice.  I'm very angry about all the shit I've taken from him.
As mentioned previously, I have depression.  I've read books about it.  You're supposed to have friends.  I suppose this is why I've taken so much shit from him.  I was thinking, he's a very angry asshole, but it's better than having no friends.  He knows I have depression, but, obviously, that didn't stop him from being cruel to me.
I'll tell the story of one of the times he kicked me out of his house.  He's an avid gambler.  He talks at length about it, which bores the hell out of me.  Anyway, we were watching a college football game.  As previously mentioned, I don't give a fuck about football, but it was his house, so he had control of the remote.  This happened to be a good game.  One team, that had been way behind, was making an improbable comeback.  I was cheering for them.  My former friend, B, became angry with me, because he had bet against the team.  I couldn't believe it.  He accused me of fucking with him by cheering for the team.  He became very angry.  I pointed out that, if he was losing his bet, it was his fault, and his fault alone, because he placed the bet.  He kicked me out of his house over that bullshit.
I could go on and on about what an asshole he has been to me, and perhaps I'll add to this.  But I'm just trying to let go of my obsessive anger.     

Never Give Up

sisters

Last week, I was disappointed with myself.  I'm less so now.  That was a strange incident.  I'm ready for it now.
Recently, a loud group of kids saw a groundhog or two.  They saw him and/or her go into the hole that's right next to the building I live in.  They began to have a discussion about what they should do.  One of them suggested trying to chase them.
The oldest girl in the group made me proud.  She said, "How would you like to be chased?"  It gave me hope for the future.
Then one of the other kids said, "I'd love it; I love to play tag."  They're not "playing tag," kid.  They''re terrified and running for their lives.  One of them threw something, like a rock, down the hole.  That was my cue.
"Leave them alone," I said out my bedroom window.  They looked up at me.  They seemed to be startled.  They ran away.  I did not yell.  I did not have a mean tone in my voice.  Regardless, they stopped terrifying defenseless animals.
I'm not the only person around here who loves groundhogs.  I heard something, so I looked out the window.  Two maintenance workers were driving around on a golf cart (They don't walk anywhere.).  One of the guys was saying, "Look at them!" Then he said it again.  He was referring to two baby groundhogs who were running for cover.  To my eyes, he looked like a cool, possibly tough, young guy.  But I heard his voice raise when he told his coworker to look at the groundhogs.  I believe he was delighted by the sight of the baby groundhogs.
Then, when I went downtown, I saw groundhogs grazing there.  They were doing it in an area where people were all over the place.  There was a workplace on one side and plenty of downtown traffic on the other.  They didn't have a lot of room to themselves.  Not surprisingly, they didn't seem to be as afraid of people as the suburban groundhogs that I'm used to.  Two guys looked at them and began speaking to each other in Spanish.  I kept an eye on them, but it seemed like they were just looking.  Groundhogs are a North American beastie.  Not everyone is as fortunate as I am to see them every day: except for winter.