Current Online Dating Profile

this is my current online dating profile:
"CAUTION: this was written by someone who's REAL. w/all the fakeness out there, it might be a shock to the system.
i refuse to support animal cruelty (buy meat, egg, dairy, leather, etc). if you think there's nothing wrong with supporting animal cruelty, if you never see yourself being a vegetarian or vegan, then i'm not interested in you.
If ya want to have kids, I ain't interested in ya either.
i'm not an optimist; i'm a realist.
i don't care to be a conformer. i have my own mind.
it's sad, but i find that women are more likely to judge me when it comes to how much of a loser i am as opposed to my morals & values, which i'm proud of
my experience is, if women are considering dating me, they will interrogate/judge me: fine. i will be brutally honest, because there's no point in wasting time, nor do i want to be w/someone who's obsessed w/$, status, because that's so typical."

It's All Shit

The antidepressants aren't working.  I hate life.  My life is pathetic.  I have no friends.  I don't even understand the concept of friendship.  I'm 100% sure that it's cruel to bring someone into this world.  Life is torture.  This society is so fake, so false.  People put a fake smile on, but there's so much misery.  I know I'm not the only one.  I'll be alone for Xmas again.  I'm always alone for the holidays.  I don't know what to do with my time.  I read a little.  I watch TV.  I tweet.  I exercise.  I'm just going through the motions; none of it brings any real satisfaction.  I should have killed myself a long time ago.  My life is a bad deal; it's consistently shitty.  I have very little hope that my life will get better. 

A Salute to the Real

This one goes out to the realists.  If someone gave me a "Life is good" shirt, I would never wear it outside.  Assuming it fit, and it was comfy, I would only wear it indoors, because I wouldn't want anyone to assume that I supported such an asinine notion.  The fact that I've seen so many of these "Life Is Good" shirts just goes to show how many fake and phony people are out there.  If you want to know what isn't "good" about life, watch the news, or just read more of this blog.  I don't sugarcoat shit.  By the way, when I was writing "Life is good," I accidentally wrote "Lie" instead of "Life."  How appropriate.  "Lie is good," because "Life is good" is a lie.  To be fake and phony is to be worthless.  Fake laughing at someone's joke is weak and cowardly.  That being said, I have done it, but mostly at work.  A customer tries to be funny, fails, and I laugh a little anyway, because it would be uncomfortable not to, and/or I don't want him or her to try to get me into trouble at work.  Although that would be a typically ridiculous thing to get into trouble at work about: not laughing at a pathetic attempt to be funny.  Although, a customer's total came up, and it was $4.30.  He said, "Sounds like quitting time!"  And he laughed at his (can you really call that a) joke.  I couldn't bring myself to laugh, and he had the fucking nerve to criticize me!  Not in a major way, he wasn't mean; he didn't yell, but he mildly criticized me for not laughing at that weak-ass shit!  He should take that act on the road: to comedy clubs everywhere.  He should get up on stage, and ask the audience to yell out 3-digit numbers.  "715!"  "715?  That sounds like quitting time!"
I had a job where I repeatedly failed to laugh at my coworkers attempts to be funny, and they disliked me as a result.  Don't play our little game, don't fake laugh at our little jokes, and we will hate you for it.
Which brings me to the realest tweet I ever saw; "People are loved for being fake and hated for being real." 

Human Society: Great for a Few, Horrible for Many

I've probably touched on this before, but I believe that war, terrorism, and mass shootings are generated by life in human society, which, as the title suggests, is fantastic if you're rich and shitty if you're not.  Our society is fake, false, and unfair.  People that come from stupid, shitty, loser families supposedly have the same chances for success as those who come from intelligent, caring, successful families.  It's a bold-faced lie.
Look at Donald Trump: one of the most vile, stupid, and disgusting examples of an asshole the world has ever seen.  His father lent him $14,000,000.  He owns Manhattan real estate.  If you can afford it, buying Manhattan real estate is a no brainer.  Unless it gets wiped off the face of the map, it will always be worth a lot.    
By contrast, most terrorists probably don't have a pot to piss in.  If you have nothing, your life is shit, and you see that others have everything (especially if they have it unfairly), then you might want to lash out at society.  Likewise, many of these mass shooters are society's losers.  Frequently, it's the loss of a job that will set them off.  Many people who have committed suicide couldn't stand being losers in this society. 

Fuck the Norm (part 2)!

I knew I'd have to revisit this theme, as pain throbs in my left leg.
"How are you?"  "Have a good day."  Bullshit!  "How are you?" is a bullshit way to greet someone if you don't really care how they are.  It is a question.  If you don't care to hear a real answer to it, then don't ask it.  Example: I'm at work, and a customer asks me how I am.  "Not good.  My leg hurts, and so does my foot and my back.  I have depression and OCD.  I hate this job; it's crushing my soul.  Life sucks.  (I could go further.)."  "Have a good day" is also bullshit.  How?  How are I supposed to have a good day?  Hey, if you want me to have a good day, how about giving me a shitload of money?  Or let me watch your hot girlfriend having sex.  That would help.  If you can't truly help me have a good day, then don't say that.  It's meaningless and worthless.  "Hi" and "Hello" are perfectly fine greetings.  They don't say or ask anything fake or stupid, and they waste lass time.  Fuck the norm!
Next is this annoying trend I've been noticing.  People are going bananas for Under Armor apparel around here.  I see a ton of Under Armor shirts, hats, shoes, jackets, etc.  Plenty of people are wearing multiple Under Armor garments at once; multiple members of a family are wearing them, etc.  I'll admit that, when I was a kid, I paid to advertise apparel companies by buying shirts that said "Adidas" on them, etc., but I was a KID!  That's my excuse.  I'm talking about fully-grown adults paying (probably through the nose) for the right to advertise the company that's taking their money!  Fuck the norm!
Lastly are tattoos.  It has become the norm to pay someone to mutilate your body!  Stupid!  Also, why do fat people get tattoos?  Hey, look at me!  I've got a tattoo between my stretch marks!  Don't these morons realize how shitty these tattoos will look once they get older (Plenty of them look shitty from the start.)?  Fuck the norm! 

Smiles & Lies

Smiles and lies try to hide the truth about life in our society.  Watch TV and you'll see plenty of it: especially in commercials.  Smiling people trying to sell shit to miserable people.
Post your pics of you putting your faces together smiling on Fakebook.  Don't post pics of the truth behind the façade: pain, loneliness, despair. 
At work, I dealt with some customers.  I was polite to them.  As the couple was walking away, the woman said, loudly, probably for my benefit, "Hi.  How are you?"  I think she was criticizing me for not saying "How are you?" to them.  I don't like it when cashiers ask me how I am, because I know they don't care.  Why would you want someone who doesn't know you, and doesn't care about you, to ask you how you are?  I don't understand it.  This woman, who I think is a piece of fucking shit, must like all that fake shit.  She must like living a fake and phony life.  I pity her.
Biological parenthood is where the most smiles and lies come from.  Bring a little baby into this fucked-up world to cheer your selfish ass up.  Smile at your cute little baby as you ignore all the pain, shit, and misery that person will have to go through as a result of your pathetic unprotected sex.  Lie to yourself that you haven't done a very cruel thing by subjecting your child to all the shit that life has to offer.
I'm so tired.  I'm in such pain.  It's only going to get worse.

Fakebook and Shitter

Two very popular social networking websites, that shall remain nameless here, I'll refer to as Fakebook and Shitter.  I'll admit that, on Fakebook, I have quite a few fake friends.  They're not real friends.  I don't really know them.  And I'm not the only one: not by far.  So tons of people have fake friends.  Why do I have fake friends when I claim to be so real?  I only joined Fakebook and Shitter to promote my writing.  It hasn't worked out so well.  It's no surprise, though.  The average person would rather stare at their phone than a book.
Technology has gone too far.  It's got people staring at their phones like zombies.  I'd rather look at a beautiful sky than the screen of a smartphone.  Who can get the most "likes?"  What a pathetic culture; what a pathetic society.  We're going down the tubes with this shit.  And, of course, if we do, the animals will be much better off without us.  What do they need us for?  Beatings, torture, and murders?  I don't think so.  Long after we're gone, the rain will make grass, plants, veggies, fruits, and trees grow (if we haven't completely destroyed Earth by then).  Even "man's best friend" has been devastated by humans: the price to pay for trusting evil, violent people.
Which segues into the shitty things I've had to hear at work.  A guy (I refuse to call him a man.) was buying rat traps.  "My neighbors keep feeding chipmunks, and I keep killing them," he said to me.  So confident he was in his cruelty.  Surely most people are chipmunk haters, is perhaps what he was thinking when he said that to me.  What did I say?  I either said, "oh," or I said nothing.  I'm not completely sure.  I'm trying to survive.  I need this job to do that.  I have contemplated being homeless in the wilderness and have concluded that I can't live without the resources needed to wipe and wash my ass (the OCD).  I have officially filed for bankruptcy.  There is no relying on credit anymore.
Another guy was buying quite a bit of charcoal.  He told me that he cooks a whole pig.  Again, he said it with such confidence.  What person, after all, would care about a pig?  ME!  I have cuddled with, and petted, pigs.  They, along with every other animal, deserve to be treated well.
I don't know how I make it through the day.  My pain, physical and emotional, is enormous every single day.  I was watching a good movie.  It was about spies.  This man said to a room full of them, "If you're caught, just prick your skin with this pin we've given you.  Death will be instantaneous."  I was very jealous.  I wanted one of those pins.        

Cretins

 
I've been trying to promote Veganman lately.  I've been emailing lots of vegan/animal rights websites and asking them to help get the word out.  I've gotten some positive responses.  I even got a great review from someone who read the book in one sitting.  But I've encountered cretins too.  My Googles have unintentionally brought their slimy selves to the surface.  There's a group on Facebook called "I love animals but hate animal rights activists."  It absolutely disgusted me.  They are probably all meat eaters that are fine with the way animals are currently being treated, which, in many cases, is horrendously.  Whoever liked that page, and there was a depressing amount that did, is a piece of shit, and whoever started it is a colossal piece of shit.  I briefly thought about leaving a comment, then thought better of it.  Those cretins aren't worth my time.
In fact, one of my Facebook "friends" (I don't really know her.  It just goes to show how fake and phony our culture has become.  By the way, I only joined FB to promote my writing.)  responded to a post of mine.  I came across this website that listed Rachael Ray as one of the top 10 animal rights activists: unbelievable!  The bitch cooks dead animal flesh on her show!  She's gotten rich as a result of showing people how to make dead meat delicious.  So I posted what a crock of shit that was.  This is the exchange:
Me: Unbelievable! This stupid website, beliefnet, listed Rachael Ray as one of the top 10 animal rights activists! She cooks meat on her TV show! I left an incredulous comment, which quickly got pushed past the positive ones. What a bad joke.
Her: I eat meat doesnt make me any less a protector of Animals!! 
Me: You're not protecting the animals you're eating. That's for sure
Her: Strange logic!
Me: Not at all. When you buy meat, you're supporting animal cruelty. There's no way around it.
Her: No im a meat eater and being a veggie doesnt stop animals being killed!!
Me: When you buy meat, you're paying "people" to keep animals in horrible conditions. Are you somehow not aware of the horrible ways in which "food" animals are treated? You're also paying them to murder them. We don't need meat to survive. Eating meat is cruel.
Her: (no response)
Then I found (wasn't looking for it) a website that complained about how animal rights activists are driving up the cost of meat, eggs, and so on.  I could only read so much of it.  Someone bitched and moaned that eggs were more expensive cause a law was passed that gave hens more space in their cages (They're still in CAGES!).  Also felt like responding there, but didn't.  Hey, asshole, if eggs are too expensive, how about NOT buying them, you stupid cretin!            

I'm Real

I'm the realest person I ever met.  It's not east being real.  Someone tries to make me laugh, I don't, and then I'm a jerk.  Most people will let the fake laughter flow to avoid awkwardness: not me.  I can't go along with this believing in god stuff.  I could just lie, say I believe in god and love Jesus, and then I'd be a part of this huge club.  But I refuse to lie about it.  I have depression.  I'm on antidepressants, but I don't think they are working any wonders for me.  I'm still depressed.  I had a scary thought.  Is there an antidepressant that exists that is strong enough to fool me into thinking that life doesn't suck?  I doubt it.  Everyday, I think about life.  Everyday I think that life sucks.  It  has been a lifelong study.  I keep coming to the same conclusion.
Being as real as I am can hurt your employment situation.  What if my boss tries to make me laugh, but I don't?  If he gets the chance, he might replace me with a fake laugher.  I've thought, plenty of times, "They aren't paying me nearly enough money to laugh at this bozo's jokes."  Obviously, being this real isn't good for making, and keeping, friends.  I'm currently not speaking to my best (human) friend.  I feel as though I've taken a ton of crap from him.  I don't even really understand friendship.  If I don't feel like calling someone, I won't.
I haven't been able to stop drinking.  I've been trying to drink less.  I just get so bored of being sober.  I don't care if it's bad for my health.  I don't want to live to be 100.  I'm not looking forward to my mind and body deteriorating (further than they already have).  That's what old age is: coming undone.  I took a DVD out from the library and popped it into the DVD player.  I had seen it before.  That's not the only time that happened.  That's a "senile" type of thing to do.  I'm losing my marbles, and there is no keeping them.
At this point, I no longer live for myself.  I don't want to live.  But I want to change the world, which is hard to do when you're dead.  I want to improve things for animals: especially those living under the cruel thumb of humans.  I want to convince people to adopt kids that already need a home instead of bringing more into the world.  At least I have 2 good reasons to live.