Hotsy-Totsy!

Oh, you're such a hotsy-totsy, aren't you?  I couldn't possibly fuck you, could I?  Of course not!  I'm not tall enough, too old, too bald, too much of a loser.  But here's the thing; you poop, and that's gross!  Yuck!  Yucky wucky!  Yucky poo poo!  There's poop inside you right now!  What's that, hotsy-totsy?  You don't need to poop?  It doesn't matter!  You have tubes inside you that are ALWAYS coated with poop!  Rancid poop!  Double gross!  And you eat meat, dead, rotting animal flesh, which is also gross (and cruel).  You should be so happy that anyone would want to have sex with your poopy ass, but no!  You're choosy!  Choosy woosy!
What's that?  I poop too?  Unfortunately, you are correct.  Yes, I'm gross too; believe me, I know.  That's my point.  We're both gross, so let's be disgusting together!  No?  Oh, well, I tried.       

Sex Is Disgusting

I would have made a great Puritan (except for being an atheist), because I believe sex is dirty.  However, they thought it was dirty figuratively, while, as far as I'm concerned, it's literally dirty.
The vagina is located perilously close to the bunghole.  So, what so many men, and women, want to do so badly, is to put their genitalia, and mouths (!), a few inches away from an asshole!  Gross!  There are plenty of people out there who fuck, and lick (!!), assholes!  Beyond gross!  Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Making out is gross too.  Tongues are like slugs.  Why would I want my slug to mingle with yours?  Even the tongues of hotties are slug-like.  Mouths are full of spit: so disgusting. 
Regardless, because, like everyone, I am hardwired to want sex, I do.  But I only want legitimate hotties, and they, do to my age, baldness, and financial situation (to name but a few reasons), certainly don't want me.  But, as I just mentioned, I'm not missing out on much.  And women expect to be wined and dined, etc.  If a woman was coming over, I'd have to do a shitload of cleaning.  It's not worth the effort.  I hate cleaning; I only do the bare minimum.  So I live like a slob.  And what are the chances I'd find a vegan I'm attracted to?  I don't think I can be with a meat-eating woman.  It probably just wouldn't work. 
I masturbate virtually every day.  And when I do, I fantasize about the women that I'm very unlikely to seduce, like Jennifer Lawrence.  So why should I settle for a woman that I'm not really attracted to, when, in my mind, I'm having sex with women like J Law?