What a Fucking Day

Another shit day at work. Dealing with an old fool (I have to deal with plenty of them at work.), I got a little frustrated with him & raised my voice a little. He said, "Well, don't get sore about it!" But he wasn't done. The old fool has quite a temper. He did some more snapping at me, &, as he was leaving, I laughed at him. Then he got really pissed off. He called me a jerk. Since I was at work, I said, "It takes one to know one." Outside of work, I probably would have called him an asshole. He got in my fucking face: hilarious! The guy's like 30 years older than me. I could demolish him. I stepped back, & said, derisively, "get out of my face." He said, "fuck you," & so did I. I could get fired for that; I'm sure.
But that was nothing compared to what was waiting for me in the mailbox. The IRS sent me a bill for $664. Some DUMB ASS ignored the amount of NYS tax I paid that I wrote on the form & the stub from my employer & assumed I payed 0 state income tax for the whole year: UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE! And today is the Friday before Memorial Day weekend, so this shit will be hanging over my head for 3 WHOLE FUCKING DAYS before I can call them. When it rains, it pours. If I can't convince them I don't owe that money, it will be DEVASTATING.
Also, my mother sent me a letter asking me to drive from here (Rochester, NY) to my grandma's apt (Queens, NYC) so I can spend a few days with the 2 of them. So fucking presumptuous. She's like, we'll do this, & we'll do that. I don't think so!
Everyday I'm being punished for not killing myself.
  

Always Bet on Violence

sweet, little, vulnerable groundhog

There are so many things I could be, should be, doing.  But a hawk's cries reminded me that I have wanted to write this for a while now.  A bunch of small birds were chasing a beautiful hawk.  I've seen this sort of thing plenty of times.  The first time I saw it, it didn't make much sense to me.  Why would a small bird chase a much larger one?  Why would the larger bird allow the smaller one to pursue him or her?  The answers are what they are.  I have my theories, but they're not important.  The point is violence is the way of this world.
This world has probably always been violent.  Perhaps it should be called "violence" instead of "earth."  This animal kills and eats that one, and that one kills and eats this one.  It's just the way things are.  Of course, humans have taken violence to a new level.  It's only natural that the most "evolved" species would be the most violent.  We have used our "intelligence" to make guns, biological weapons, nuclear warheads, and many other evil, deadly, and destructive weapons.  Don't have a weapon, but you want to kill and injure?  No problem.  All you need is a car or a truck, as we have seen in France, England, and, most recently, in Charlottesville, VA.  At his point, is anyone really surprised when a terrorist attack occurs?  Or a mass shooting in America?  No, this is the norm.  
Yesterday, I saw a dead turtle on a road.  I think it was a snapping turtle.  It was lying in a pool of blood.  Strangely, it had crawled away from a park, with ponds, toward a highway.  He or she was killed shortly after crawling onto the service road: sad, frustrating, and depressing.
I heard a dog barking, and I went to a window to see what was happening.  There are no pets allowed in my apt complex, but an annoying woman here has a dachshund.  She allows the dog to run around off-leash.  Then, when she's trying to find the dog, she calls out her name in an incredibly nasally voice.  It's horrible to hear.  So I went to the window, and saw, to my dismay, that the dog was barking at a groundhog.  She was very close to the groundhog.  She must have snuck up on her before she had a chance to run away.  The dog kept barking and circling the poor groundhog, who must have been scared to death.  The groundhog kept turning to face the dog.  The groundhog displayed no aggression whatsoever.  What could I do?  I yelled "Stop it!" as loud as I could at least a couple of times.  One of those times, the dog stopped barking and looked to see who said that.  I wished the groundhog would have taken the opportunity to run away from the dog, but she didn't.  Finally, the stupid woman called out the dog's name once again, which distracted the dog for real, and the groundhog made a run for it.  The dog chased her, and tried to bite her.  I don't know if the groundhog was bitten.  It's quite possible she was.  If this stupid woman had the dog on a leash, like she should, then that wouldn't have happened.  Once again, I'm in a quandary.  Do I tell the office about the woman with the dog?  What if her response would be to get rid of the dog?  That would be horrible.  I hate it when people get rid of their pets.  It can be so traumatic for the animals.  But, because of this stupid woman, this dog is free to terrorize little animals around here.  It's another no-win situation.  And that's life: a no-win situation.             
 

Life Is...

 
Life is...

a nightmare

pain

hard

torture

violent

brutal

unforgiving

relentless

ruthless

merciless

shit

cruel

sometimes boring

annoying

frustrating

intimidating

suffocating

ugly

sometimes beautiful (which can be hard to appreciate when you're miserable)

occasionally okay

ultimately horrible