Mind the Gap

Blood of my Blood.

This is a public service announcement: without guitars.  This weekend, my friend and I went to see a stand-up comedian perform at the Comedy Club in Webster, NY, which is a Rochester suburb.  I couldn't believe how loud his mic had been turned up.  I've seen a bunch of comedians there; they have had plenty of impressive talents gracing their stage.  Anyway, this comedian was so loud, that I needed to go to my car to get my earplugs, which I usually bring everywhere with me, because everyone I know plays their music and/or TV too loud for my sensitive ears.  I was running behind the Comedy Club to my car.  I didn't notice a step on the sidewalk.  I tripped over it and landed on my hands and my right knee.   The picture I'm posting with this is of the tissue I used to absorb the blood that came from my hands afterward.  My right hand was worse.  A strawberry-sized piece of skin had been completely removed from my hand as a result of the trip.  The left hand wasn't much better.  The skin had been broken in several places on the palm.
Sure, what I did was stupid.  But I wonder whether it even makes sense for that step to be where it is.  It comes out of nowhere, and I bet it's tripped lots of people.  It's dark back there.  I think they should have an outside light over that step, so people can see it.  Of course we need to watch our steps.  We should look to see exactly where we're stepping and whether it's safe or not.
The baby groundhogs continue to grow.  They really grow too quickly.   For the first time, I stretched my neck so I could get a look at them climbing into their hole in the ground from my bedroom window.  They're great, but the sad part is that new babies means in with the new and out with the old.  Groundhogs can be tough and ornery.  I think the mother always chases away other groundhogs once she's had her babies.  She wants to protect them.  She has the instinct.
I'm worried about me naming one of the babies Sweetpea.  I wonder if this will be another situation where I helped a groundhog get her superpowers.  As was the case with Bumpkin, a perfectly cute groundhog has received a perfectly cute name.  Have I done it again?  Will Sweetpea get superpowers?  Will she be able to fling fireballs from her left paw like Bumpkin can?  Time will tell.
Bumpkin, and her sisters Lucinda and Sloopy, are still in love with the new babies.  Bumpkin has indefinitely postponed her war against humans for control of the world.  She's full of peace and love.  Once again, humans have the luck of the Irish.  If not for the recent births of these 5 babies, she'd be wreaking havoc against them for sure.  

Bumpkin Apologized

Go ahead and take a break; you earned it.

She's a little rough around the edges, she has the necessary power to fiercely battle all the world's militaries simultaneously, but she's a real sweetheart.  She apologized for hitting me in the backside with one of her fireballs, which always emanate from her left front paw. 
"I'm sorry I hit you in the butt with a fireball," she said.
"Oh, Mistress Bumpkin, thank you so much.  That means so much to me," I replied with teary eyes.  It really did.  I love it when she's not mad at me; when I don't really have to worry about being deep-sixed by a groundhog.
She stood on her hind paws.  "Give me a hug," she said.
"Gladly, Madame Bumpkin, gladly," I replied.  We hugged.  It was great.  "You know I love you, Lady Bumpkin."
"I know you do," she replied.
"And I want to be with you for as long as I can."
"I know."
"Whatever I need to do to prove my worth to you; I will do."
"You'll try; I don't know if you'll succeed."
I got down on one knee in front of Bumpkin.  "Ms. Bumpkin, I hereby pledge my everlasting loyalty to you: now and forever."
"What is this crapola?"
"I'll always be on your side.  We'll always be each other's firsts.  You're my first groundhog friend, and I'm your first human friend."
"You're my only human friend.  I won't be making any more human friends; especially since I'll be slaughtering millions of them every darn day come spring."
"It will be a bloody spring indeed.  Please remember, as I've said before, friends don't kill friends."
"Don't you try to tell me who I shouldn't kill!"
"Yes, ma'am.  Sorry, ma'am."
"If you don't want me to kill you, then you should be begging me for opportunities to practice your marvelous groundhog massage technique on my body."
"Yes!  Thanks for reminding me!  Would you like a massage right now, Princess Bumpkin?"
"No, I mentioned it because I don't want a massage." 
I began to rub her little shoulders.  "I know when you're being sarcastic.  Just relax and enjoy the ride."