New Babies!

One of the new babies.

What a great spring already.  Daisy, Bumpkin's daughter, gave birth to 5 babies!  They are scared of so much.  You only have so much time to get a picture of them while feeding, because most noises scare the babies into running back to the family hole as fast as possible.  One got real cuddly with her mommy.  They are cute as hell.  I hope the system will let me upload the pics.  If not, I'll have to look into troubleshooting.  These babies need to be seen.
Bumpkin, Sloopy, and Lucinda have spent a lot of time looking at them from the windows.  They all love the babies.  Bumpkin is so moved, that she's postponed her war with humans for control of the world.  She is full of peace and love.  She's been listening to The Beatles' "All You Need Is Love" repeatedly.  She's been listening to "Strawberry Fields Forever" quite a bit too.  The sisters keep sighing and fawning all over the cute little babies.
I saw something troubling this week, though.  I'd seen plenty of squirrels shimmying across the telephone wire in front of my windows before.  But I noticed a squirrel racing across the wire.  There was a good reason for this.  She was being pursued and attacked by 2 sparrows.  What craziness.  I was rooting for the squirrel.
I heard Sloopy and Lucinda squeal with delight.  I rushed to the bedroom.  Sure enough, Bumpkin had teleported 2 of the babies into the bedroom.  At first, they were a little scared.  Suddenly, they were indoors for the first time.  But then they saw the loving looks coming from the sisters.  Bumpkin and Lucinda are cuddling with the babies.  Sloopy started to make whiny noises, so Bumpkin brought another baby up for her to cuddle with.  Now each sister had her very own groundhog baby to cuddle and play with.
"Hey Bumpkin," I said.  "Could you please bring the other 2 babies and Daisy up now?  Daisy might get worried if she can't find her babies.  Then, I'd have a baby to cuddle with too."
"Okay," she replied.  She did it.  Now there were 9 groundhogs in my apartment.  "Let's have a party," she said.
"Sure Bumpkin," I said.  Should I bring out the sod and wheatgrass?"
"But of course," replied Bumpkin, "turnips and radishes too please."
"You got it ma'am." 

It's Freaking Groundhog Day!

Happy Groundhog Day!

"Bumpkin," I said.  "Do you know what today is?"
"If you don't know what day it is, then  look at your freaking calendar.  Don't bother me with these stupid questions," she replied.
"It's Groundhog Day!" I said.
"I know that, dummy."
"Of course you did.  I should have known."
"By the way, how would you like to meet Punxsutawney Phil?"
"It would be my pleasure."
"Yo Phil!"
To my surprise, a groundhog, that wasn't Lucinda or Sloopy (Bumpkin's sisters) walked out of the bedroom that used to be mine.
"This is Punxsutawney Phil?"
"Of course.  I pulled the old switcharoo on those jerks.  Groundhogs must be free.  Any human that's holding a groundhog captive will have to answer to me."
"How did you do it?"
"Remember my clone?"
"Of course."
"After much careful observation, I came to the conclusion that my clone, in addition to having none of my superpowers, also has no feelings.  She isn't really real.  Phil is totally real though.  Also, Lucinda has a crush on him: big time.  Last night, I flew to Punxsutawney and made the switch."
"Brilliant, Miss B, simply brilliant."
"You might want to watch the ceremony this year."
"Uh-oh.  What have you done, Bumpkin?"
"You'll see."
I went into the bedroom, where Sloopy and Lucinda were watching, appropriately, Groundhog Day on the TV.  "I'm just going to stop this right here, and you can watch the rest of it later."  I picked up the remote and stopped the DVD.  Sloopy and Lucinda started making all these whiny noises.
"It's OK, Sloopy and Lucinda.  You can watch the rest later.  I just want to watch something.  Don't you want to see a real Groundhog Day ceremony?"
Sloopy and Lucinda squealed with delight.  Bumpkin really has taught them many English words.  I changed the channel, and there it was.  The guy in the top hat grabbed Bumpkin's clone and held her up in the air.  He had a big smile on his face, and he was going into his little spiel when a massive explosion disrupted the proceedings in a major way.
"Holy crap!" I exclaimed.  When the smoke cleared, it was obvious that everyone at the scene must have been blown to bits.  "Bumpkin!  How did you do that?"
"I left a giant fireball there: underground.  I programmed it to go off exactly when I wanted it to."
"But you killed your clone!  Not to mention all those people."
"Dummy, I just told you; she had no feelings.  She wasn't real.  I made her, so I can destroy her."
"I guess so."
"As for the people, they got what they deserved!  Do you know how scary it is for a regular groundhog to be among all those humans?  And how dare they keep a groundhog captive like that!  I've got a good mind to wipe Punxsutawney off the freaking map!  In fact, I think I will."  One of the windows in my apartment opened and Bumpkin flung a fireball out of it.  Once it was outside, it expanded.  The fireball, now gigantic, took off, presumably for Punxsutawney.  It didn't take long to get there.
"We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news.  Punxsutawney, PA has been completely destroyed by a massive explosion.  And out of all the days it could have happened, it happened on Groundhog Day.  Officials are not yet sure if there is a connection."
Oh, there's a connection all right.