The Second-Worst Conspiracy

The second-worst conspiracy is procreation.  There are way too many people in the world.  The law of supply and demand states that the more there is of something, the less the item in question will be worth.  This applies to people as well.
Trillions, quadrillions (or more), people throughout the years, have essentially said, "Sure, life sucks.  It's hard.  It's more shit than sugar.  Maybe, if I brought a baby into the world, that would cheer me up.  And then, when I'm old, too old to take care of myself, then that baby, now an adult, will take care of me; sign me up!  Yeah, sure, in this dangerous, violent world, all sorts of horrible things can happen to my child, but my parents did it to me!  If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for my child.  In fact, it's a kind of revenge.  Someone brought me into this hellhole to suffer, and now it's my right to do it to someone else!"  How much pain and misery has this course of action led to?
Think for a second about how the quality of life has sucked throughout the years.  Imagine life without electricity, toilets, running water in the home, or cars.  It was REALLY shitty to bring people into a world in which those things did not exist.  But procreation is still a very shitty thing to do.  I'm not going to list all the things that are wrong with this world; I've done that over and over again.  It's a very long list.  At anytime, you could be struck by a serious illness, you could be the victim of a nasty car accident, and so on.  SUICIDE IS CONSISTENTLY A LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH.  Doesn't that tell you a lot about human existence?
Even at its best, life sucks.  There's always the pooping, ass wiping, and pissing.  Things haven't been going too badly for me lately.  It looks like I'm going to have a date with a woman I met online, although there are tons of reasons why things wouldn't work out between her and I.  She mentioned, in her dating profile, that she only keeps her "positive" friends.  Well, if she reads this blog, I'm in trouble!  She also doesn't like "loud, crazy" music, and I do.  Maybe I've been feeling better because I recently purchased healthcare, so I know that will begin 1/1/18.  I also have an old prescription for antidepressants, so, if I'm willing to pay over $100 for a months' worth, I can do that.  But there is still the shitty, boring job.  There's no getting away from the knowledge that, considering my age, I make, and I have saved, very little money.  I am a loser in this society.  That's me.  It is what I am: my place in society.  There is still the need to make so many decisions. What should I be doing with my time?  I'm indecisive.  I don't like too many choices and decisions, which is what life in this society consists of.  Inevitably, there's guilt over not doing this, or not doing that.     
I mentioned that some people seem to be addicted to having kids.  I haven't had cable TV for years, but I know there are reality shows about people who have tons of kids.  People who know this blog could probably figure out that I'm disgusted by such people.  But my parents only had one kid, and I wish they hadn't.  I've already experienced too much pain and misery; I shudder to think what the future holds. 

Bumpkin's Vengeance

It's not a very good idea to bully Bumpkin or her family.

It finally happened.  Bumpkin found out about birds bullying her mother and sisters.  Let's just say it's gotten a lot quieter around here.  The chirping had been out of control.  The birds seemed to be in charge, and they never let any of us forget it.  They chirped all the time: and loudly.
Bumpkin climbed out of the family hole with revenge on her mind.  The birds, like me, have trouble telling the 3 groundhog sisters apart.  Well, 2 of them anyway.  Lucinda continues to pack on the poundage, which distinguishes her from her sisters.  Anyway, it seems like Bumpkin strategically chose when she was going to emerge from her home.  There were many birds in the apartment complex at the time.  She purposefully crawled to an area that contained many black birds, which are the sort that have bullied groundhogs around here.  Sparrows, doves, and robins seem to mind their own business, but those black birds have pecked groundhogs too nastily and too often.  Bumpkin picked a spot and began to munch on weeds and grass.  It didn't take too long for one of those angry black birds to peck her in the butt.  It took even less time for Bumpkin to turn around and decapitate the bird with one casual swipe of a paw.  Then the fireballs took over.  I had seen her hurl fireballs from her paws before, but never so many and never so quickly.  She stood up on her hindquarters and shot fireballs out of both paws like Clint Eastwood used to do with bullets in spaghetti westerns.  Those fireballs came fast and furious.  One black bird exploded into flames.  Another black bird was hit.  After a while, I lost count.  I'm pretty sure she toasted at least 30 of them.  It was chaos.  She hit them on the ground and in the air.  They tried to fly away, and she picked them off one by one.  I hated seeing those birds attack groundhogs, but I didn't enjoy seeing them trying to fly away while engulfed in flames.  What's even scarier is that I didn't see her miss even once.  I think she's been practicing.
Charred black bird bodies were still smoldering when Bumpkin returned to her first victim: the one she beheaded.  She dragged the unfortunate bird to the sidewalk.  I had a feeling I knew what was coming next.  Sure enough, next to her name, she wrote "Sloopy" "Lucinda" and "Mommy" on the sidewalk in bird blood.  As far as who shouldn't be messed with around here, she left no doubt.  How far will she go though?  Sometimes the maintenance workers cut the grass and use weed whackers.  When they do those things, they scare groundhogs away.  A maintenance worker armed with a weed whacker is no match for Bumpkin.  I don't care if they hire Chuck Norris to whack the weeds here.  Chuck Norris is tough; I wouldn't want to fight him.  But what can he do about multiple fireballs coming at him with great speed?