You Got What You Deserved (Smartphone Edition)

You're walking while your face is firmly in your smartphone.  You're not watching where you're going.  Apparently, it's the rest of the world's responsibility to get out of your way.  You step into the street.  A truck squashes your body as though it was a bug.  You got what you deserved.
You're walking on a sidewalk, and your face is in your smartphone.  You don't realize that you're walking straight toward a particularly violent ex-con, who's having a difficult time acclimating to his new-found freedom and longs for the simplicity of prison life.  Since he doesn't mind being incarcerated again, he punches your face viciously just before you were going to bump into him, which is only the beginning of the brutal beating you will suffer at his hands.  You got what you deserved. 
You're surfing the web while you're driving on a highway.  You get into a nasty accident, which is 100% your fault.  The other driver in the accident is severely injured, so he sues your ass.  Your injuries are worse than his, though, and you will never walk again.  You got what you deserved. 

Life Sucks.

Pain

Sure, I have depression and OCD.  But, virtually every day, I come to the conclusion that life sucks.  I wish I had never been born.  I wish I could just die peacefully and painlessly in my sleep tonight.  But I cling to life because I have hope.  Also, as Matthew McConaughey's character said in the very good TV show, True Detective, "I don't have the constitution to commit suicide."  At least I think I don't.  I wish I did.  I'm very torn.  I want to die, and I feel like continuing to live is just more punishment.  But I want to change the world by helping animals and convincing people to not bring people and animals into this world of brutality and misery. 
I can't get a job.  Even McDonald's wouldn't give me an interview after I applied.
I have no energy.  I walk, becasue I feel compelled to exercise, but also because I have to walk to get food and other supplies I need.
I don't have a car.  I live in a place where you need a car.
I'm living off credit cards and going further and further into debt.  This is very stressful.
It's not just me.  Tons of people are living lives they hate.  How many of us are truly living the lives we want to?  Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Paul McCartney, Pete Townsend, Derek Jeter,  and Messi come to mind. 
The good times never last.  You go out with friends, then it winds down and you're alone again.
I'm the result of a teen pregnancy.  My father left when I was 2 years old, so I was raised by a woman in her early 20's.  That's less than ideal.  I'm a mess.  At least I've never brought anyone into this cruel world.   
My pain is both physical and emotional: everyday.  Life is pain.  Life is misery.  This is my experience.  If it isn't yours, you're lucky.
Before you accuse me of being a bitcher or a moaner, do your research.  Suicide is always one of the leading causes of death.  The CDC asked the media to not report suicides, because that just leads to more (copycat) suicides.  I read that, in the U.S., the number of suicides has increased every single year since 1999.       

Taking the Plunge

Groundhogs are hibernating.

It's time.  Over and over again now I've read, seen, and heard that a diet that contains no alcohol, processed foods, refined sugars, lactose, caffeine, and GMO foods is the way to go for physical, mental, and emotional well being.  I currently have some processed foods in my home.  That's fine.  I will finish them.  I think it's wrong to waste food.  The plan is to not purchase or acquire anymore.  I plan to not buy anymore sugar, coffee, chips, bread, etc.  So what does that leave?  All vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, beans, and whole grains.  Although I also plan to do without wheat and gluten.
This decision has been reinforced by what I've been watching lately on PBS.  I usually don't watch these sorts of programs, but I watched 3 self-help/diet shows.  I forget the name of one of the guys, but the other 2 were hosted by Deepak Chopra and Joel Fuhrman.  What all 3 men had in common was they recommended a diet rich in unprocessed, whole foods like veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, and beans.  I was most impressed by Dr. Fuhrman's presentation.  I plan to read at least one of his books: especially the one that contains a lot of whole foods recipes in it.
I went out for a walk yesterday.  As soon as I left my building, I noticed a squirrel foraging in the snow behind a bush that some sparrows live in (year round).  My neighbors have made a habit of putting food there for the animals.  I suppose that's why the squirrel was foraging there.  They forage on the grass.  What do they do when it's covered with snow?  I went back upstairs and got a whole, still-in-the-shell walnut.  I tossed it behind the bush.  Unfortunately, we got about 5 inches of snow last night.  I hope a squirrel will get that nut.  I don't know anything about nuts freezing.  Even if it did freeze, I can picture a smart squirrel lying on top of it to defrost it.
Also, while out walking yesterday, a man offered to give me a ride in his car.  It was cold out, and it was snowing.  I was very close to home, so there was no chance I would accept his offer.  I said "no thanks."  Almost immediately, I thought, this guy is probably a good Samaritan, but, it's also possible that he's a serial killer.  Even for a full-grown male, like me, getting into a car with someone you don't know could be a fatal mistake.  Crazier things have happened.  Of course, it didn't help that I had just recently watched the movie version of The Lovely Bones, which involves a girl trusting a man that she shouldn't have.