Life Is a Pain in the Ass

 
Until death,
Teeth will need to be brushed.
Teeth will need to be flossed.
Hands will need to be washed.
Arms will need to be washed.
Genitals will need to be washed.
Asses will need to be washed.
Feet will need to be washed.
Legs will need to be washed.
Faces will need to be washed.
Bald heads will need to be washed.
Necks will need to be washed.
Armpits will need to be washed.
Sweeping will need to be done.
Dusting will need to be done.
Mopping will need to be done.
Work will need to be done.
Laundry will need to be done.
Suffering will need to be done.
Misery will be experienced.
Pain will be felt.
Bodies will deteriorate with age.
Minds will deteriorate with age.
Loneliness will be experienced.
Sickness will be dealt with.
Diseases will be contracted.
Shoelaces will need to be tied.
Death will be dealt with.
Fingernails will need to be cut.
Toenails will need to be cut.
Hair will need to be washed.
Hair will need to be cut.
Hair will need to be combed.
Windows will need to be opened.
Windows will need to be closed.
Dishes will need to be washed.
Ovens will need to be cleaned.
Batteries will have to be replaced.
Car problems will need to be dealt with.
Warts will need to be dealt with.
STDs will need to be dealt with.
Phones will need to be charged.
Bills will need to be paid.
Presents will need to be bought.
Cards will need to be sent.
Asses will need to be wiped.
Toilets will need to be flushed.
Shopping will need to be done.
Food will need to be eaten.
Food will need to be prepared.
Toilets will need to be cleaned.
Tubs will need to be cleaned.
Garbage must be thrown out.
Grass will need to be cut.
Leaves must be raked.
Bushes will need to be trimmed.
Coffee must be made.
Sunscreen will need to be applied.
Shaving must be done.
Saving must be done.
Lights must be turned on.
Lights must be turned off.
TVs must be turned on.
TVs must be turned off.
Music must be turned on.
Music must be turned off.
Music will need to be turned up.
Music will need to be turned down.
Commuting will need to be done.
Vacuuming will need to be done.
Clothes must be worn.
Clothes must be taken off.
Deodorant must be applied.
Peeing will need to be done.
Pooping will need to be done.
Farting will need to be done.
Bleeding will need to be done.
Zits will need to be popped.

Sex is Overrated

Sex really is overrated.  Have you ever thought about how simple it is?  It is the act of inserting a pole into a hole.  It doesn't get much more simpler than that.  Yet people go bananas over sex.  It's somewhat understandable.  We're hardwired to want to have sex and procreate.  That's how the species continues.  I'm a big fan of hot women.  Last night, I watched a movie in which Gwyneth Paltrow was wearing black lingerie.  It was hot.
On the other hand, we have intellect and reasoning.  We can choose.  We can waste a lot of time and money chasing people to have sex with, or we can masturbate whenever we want to (within reason).  I'm a big fan of masturbation.  I do it nearly every day.  If I wasn't on Prozac, I'd probably do it more.  I find Prozac to be a bit of a sex drive reducer.  Masturbation is great.  It cuts to the chase.  What's the best part about sex?  Orgasm, of course.  That's what jerking off is all about.  As a matter of fact, I jacked off to the aforementioned scene in which Gwyneth Paltrow was cavorting about in black lingerie.  It was very satisfying.    
Sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy.  This leads to kids being born that aren't really wanted.  This leads to lives full of pain.  Sex can lead to diseases: like AIDS, chlamydia, herpes, and gonorrhea.  If one can't keep their urge under control, one might rape, which can ruin the lives of the victim and the rapist.  Some people are sexually attracted to children.  If they act on this attraction, more lives will be marred.  Countless lives have been ruined by sex.
I've written this here before, but I'm so glad I've never gotten a woman pregnant.  I'm so glad I've never brought someone into this cruel world to suffer.  I'm sure I'll never want to.  Too many people, and animals, have suffered horrible existences in this cold world of brutality.
My advice to you is to realize the ways in which sex can ruin your life and the lives of others.  Protected sex is preferable to unprotected sex, but protection can fail.  The only sure way to avoid unwanted pregnancy and STDs is to abstain from having sex.  Fear of getting a woman pregnant is part of the reason why I didn't have sex from the ages of 27-44: 17 years.  I have no regrets about that.