Tragedy

 
I'll begin with the animals.  Innumerable animal lives have been tragic.  Humans have played a huge part in that: using them any way they see fit.  How many cows would have been great mothers, but weren't given a chance, because their calves were taken away shortly after birth, so people could take the milk instead?  How many pigs, chickens, and turkeys would have made great pets?  I've seen pigs that were pets (on TV).  I saw a pig push a soccer ball around.  I saw a pig put a toy back in the toy box once she was finished with it.  I have cuddled with pigs and given them belly rubs.  When I began to rub their bellies, they acted just like dogs do; they rolled onto their sides so they could get proper belly rubs.  Of course, most pigs aren't pets.  Many of them are kept in gestation crates, where they have no room to walk anywhere, or even turn around.  That's their reality until it's time to be murdered.  Hens make great pets too.  There's an organization called HenPower, which brings hens to senior citizens living in nursing homes.  Hens make great pets, because they're soft, and they don't bite (even though they have every right to bite people considering what we've done to them).  Turkeys have made great pets too.  I saw one running with the family dog and a human friend.  How many great animal friendships would have developed if we hadn't separated them for our own selfish reasons?  The way people have treated countless animals is horrible: denying them a chance to live natural, happy, peaceful lives.
Then there are people who have lived tragic lives.  The cemeteries are full of them.  So many people had so much promise, but life didn't treat them fairly.  As I've mentioned before, people come from 3 basic sorts of families: those that are abusive, those that are unsupportive, and those that are very helpful.  When ti comes to people who have lived tragic lives, none immediately come to mind. That's because many of the lucky people are the rich and famous ones.  Donald Trump had a rich daddy.  I used to act; people told me I was good at it.  So I can't help focusing on actors who have made it as a result of nepotism: Charlie Sheen, George Clooney, and Angelina Jolie are only a few of them.  I could go on and on with that list.
I can't help thinking that my life will end in tragedy: for me, a big one, but, for the world, it wouldn't even register.  I've been told that I'm funny.  I know I haven't shown that side here.  But I've written a lot of comedic material.  Lately, I've been reviewing it and trying to organize it.  I may not have time to do anything with it.  Time, and money, is running out for me.  It turns out that time really is money. When my credit card won't let me have any more cash advances, I'm looking at homelessness or suicide.        
I keep trying to find a job.  I recently "tried out" for a job as a pants presser in a dry cleaner shop.  I was shown how to do it.  It involved 2 machines and an iron.  I dressed up; I shouldn't have.  It was hot there.  Apparently, I didn't do very well.  They didn't call me back.  I tried my hardest, though.  First prize, you live.  Second prize, you die.             

Day of the Groundhog

The day of the groundhog is approaching.

This is what the future will be like.  Groundhogs, thanks to Bumpkin, will rule the Earth.  They will all be free to do whatever they want, whenever they want.  No longer shall they run and hide in fear from humans.  They will all be free to graze, walk, sit on their butts, and fornicate wherever they wish to do so.  Their time is coming.  As Bumpkin said, humans have had their chance, and now it's the groundhogs' turn.
One of Bumpkin's plans is to free all the animals that are being imprisoned in zoos.  The cages won't go to waste though.  Bumpkin will fill them with all different kinds of humans.  In this cage, you'll see a UPS guy.  In the next, you'll find a plumber.  Then you'll come across a police officer and so on.  The zoos will be open to all species of animals: as long as they can behave themselves.  And by behave themselves, Bumpkin means they better not attack any other animals who are trying to enjoy the human zoo, or they will have to answer to her.
Bumpkin feels connected to all the animals of the world.  It seems possible that groundhogs will enjoy preferential treatment though.  They will all certainly enjoy her protection.  For instance, I wouldn't want to trade places with a dog that has attacked a groundhog.  In the new order, violence will be met with violence.  It makes sense to me.  That's why I don't go around attacking animals or people.  If I commit violence against another sentient being, then, logically, I can expect some violence to come my way.
Bumpkin won't tolerate any violence whatsoever.  There will be no valid excuses.  All living earthlings, including predators, must become vegans.  She'll give you 2 choices: become vegan or be eradicated.  She's seen enough of animals ripping each other apart on the Discovery Channel.  It grosses her out and makes her sick.  She won't allow anyone to eat any eggs either.  Those eggs were meant to hatch: not be eaten by some fat ass.  Milk products will also be a no-no.  Cow's milk, obviously, exists to feed their calves, and in the future, it will.  No longer will humans tug at cow's udders or use machines to do it.  Anyone who persists in this sort of behavior will be wiped from the face of the Earth.
Will Bumpkin alter the natural order of things here on Earth?  Absolutely.  Will overpopulation be a problem?  I don't think so.  Based on what I've seen, there seems to be no limit to her superpowers; they just keep getting stronger every day.  I think she has the ability to send plants and animals to other planets, solar systems, and universes.  Whenever it becomes too crowded on Earth, she'll just send more people, animals, and plants to other planets and moons.  And there, with Bumpkin's assistance, they will thrive. 
Change is coming.  Get ready for it.