Fuck the Oscars

Since tonight is oscar night, I can't help mentioning that I don't give a fuck.  Awards shows suck.  I haven't voluntarily watched one in years.  I've only seen some, because it's what "friends" were watching (They aren't friends anymore.).  These shows are boring as hell.  The winners get up there and thank a bunch of people.  That's what they all do: boring!
It's beyond me why regular people (People who aren't rich.) would want to watch multi-millionaires get their asses kissed all night long.  Apparently, getting paid all that money for playing pretend isn't enough.  What are they doing?  They memorize lines and repeat them while moving or sitting on their asses.  It's not rocket science.  They even get to do sex scenes and make out with hotties: nice work if you can get it! 
I just recently saw Captain Fantastic, which is the movie that Viggo Mortensen is nominated for best actor for.  His performance was nothing special. 
The only award I pay any attention to is best picture, because I am a movie fan.  However, not all of the winners are worth seeing.  Forrest Gump and The English Patient sucked, and Crash wasn't very good. 
I've mentioned nepotism here before, because I haven't been the beneficiary of any.  A lot of actors have "made it," because they are related to successful actors, directors, etc.  I saw part of a show in which they were showing what some famous actors were doing before they were famous.  They showed Jeff and Beau Bridges acting, as kids, on their father's (Lloyd Bridges) TV show Sea Hunt.  I'm sure they earned those acting jobs, and it had nothing to do with nepotism (sarcasm).    

Snow!

Winter wonderland

Nemo dumped a lot of snow on Rochester over the past couple of days.  It's a winter wonderland!  Even better, my guests have never seen snow before.  Bumpkin used her superpowers to levitate herself, so she could look out the window at the falling snow.  Lucinda looked at me and made lots of whiny noises. 
"What does she want, Bumpkin?"
"She wants you to pick her up so she can look out the window."
"It would be my pleasure."  I bent down to pick her up, and she opened her front legs wide with anticipation.  I picked her up and held her close to me.  Lucinda looked out the window and squealed with delight.  I felt something tugging at my left pajama pants' leg.  I looked down and saw Sloopy looking at me with her front legs open wide.
"Bumpkin, I think Sloopy wants to look out of the window too.  Could you give her a boost?"
"But of course."  Just like that, Bumpkin used her powers to levitate Sloopy so she could see the snow.  Sloopy squealed delightedly.
"That's enough looking.  Let's go outside!"  Bumpkin said.  That led to the loudest squeals I ever heard Sloopy and Lucinda emit.  I began to get bundled up for the cold weather.
"I don't have any clothes that would fit you guys, but I do have some extra hats.  You're welcome to wear them."
"We will wear the hats," said Bumpkin.  I got them out and tossed them onto the floor.  Bumpkin chose a black knit hat, Sloopy selected a blue one, and Lucinda grabbed a multi-colored hat.  They put them on.  They looked so cute, but their heads are so much smaller than mine.  The hats covered their entire heads and then some.  Lucinda and Sloopy began to whine, because they couldn't see.  Bumpkin immediately used her powers to make holes in the hats for their eyes and mouths.  Lucinda and Sloopy cheered. 
"Let's go!" said Bumpkin.  I opened the door for them, and my groundhog friends exited the apartment.  It was beautiful outside.  All 3 sisters began to run around in the snow.  I made a snowball and tossed it playfully at Lucinda.  I missed.
"Hey!  What the freak do you think you're doing, buster?  I would think you'd know better by now than to attack one of my sisters!"
"Whoa!  Hold on a second, Bumpkin!  Before you eradicate me with one of your fireballs of destruction, please let me say something."
"I'm listening.  This better be good, buster."
"Sometimes, when it snows, friends throw snowballs at each other.  It's just for fun; it's not attacking."
"OK.  I forgive you."
"Thank you, Miss Bumpkin."  I noticed that many snowballs were rising out of the snow on the ground.  I had a feeling about what was going to happen next.  Sure enough, I was pelted with over 100 snowballs at once.  I was knocked down immediately.  They continued to hit me while I was down.  It was like an avalanche.  I soon was completely covered with snow.  I couldn't breathe.  My life flashed before my eyes. 
When I came to, I was in my bed. 
"Sleeping beauty has awoken," said Bumpkin.  "Here, have some of this."  A mug floated toward me and I grabbed the handle.  The aroma emanating from it was quite familiar to me: hot chocolate.  I took a sip.
"Delicious cocoa, Bumpkin.  Thank you."
"It's the least I could do.  I killed you: by accident.  No harm done though.  Obviously, I brought you back to life."
"Wow.  Thanks for bringing me back to life Bumpkin."
"What are friends for?"

Bumpkin Apologized

Go ahead and take a break; you earned it.

She's a little rough around the edges, she has the necessary power to fiercely battle all the world's militaries simultaneously, but she's a real sweetheart.  She apologized for hitting me in the backside with one of her fireballs, which always emanate from her left front paw. 
"I'm sorry I hit you in the butt with a fireball," she said.
"Oh, Mistress Bumpkin, thank you so much.  That means so much to me," I replied with teary eyes.  It really did.  I love it when she's not mad at me; when I don't really have to worry about being deep-sixed by a groundhog.
She stood on her hind paws.  "Give me a hug," she said.
"Gladly, Madame Bumpkin, gladly," I replied.  We hugged.  It was great.  "You know I love you, Lady Bumpkin."
"I know you do," she replied.
"And I want to be with you for as long as I can."
"I know."
"Whatever I need to do to prove my worth to you; I will do."
"You'll try; I don't know if you'll succeed."
I got down on one knee in front of Bumpkin.  "Ms. Bumpkin, I hereby pledge my everlasting loyalty to you: now and forever."
"What is this crapola?"
"I'll always be on your side.  We'll always be each other's firsts.  You're my first groundhog friend, and I'm your first human friend."
"You're my only human friend.  I won't be making any more human friends; especially since I'll be slaughtering millions of them every darn day come spring."
"It will be a bloody spring indeed.  Please remember, as I've said before, friends don't kill friends."
"Don't you try to tell me who I shouldn't kill!"
"Yes, ma'am.  Sorry, ma'am."
"If you don't want me to kill you, then you should be begging me for opportunities to practice your marvelous groundhog massage technique on my body."
"Yes!  Thanks for reminding me!  Would you like a massage right now, Princess Bumpkin?"
"No, I mentioned it because I don't want a massage." 
I began to rub her little shoulders.  "I know when you're being sarcastic.  Just relax and enjoy the ride."