Fuck Social Media!

Yes, I'm on Facebook & Twitter; I admit it!  But what have they gotten me?  Facebook has probably hurt me.  That is where I reconnected with my aforementioned frenemy, who, as a bad influence, convinced me to go back to drinking and smoking weed regularly, even though I told him right from the start that I didn't want to rekindle those old, self-destructive habits.  That cost me a lot of money and brain cells.  It also led to me being arrested for the first time!  Thanks, Facebook frenemy!  I take full responsibility for my actions, but I'm 99.9% sure I wouldn't have gone back to drinking and smoking weed regularly, and have gotten arrested, without my frenemy's influence.  If I ever get into a no-holds-barred argument with him, I'll try to remember to ask him if he's taught his teenage daughter yet that you can't have fun without drugs and alcohol.
I joined Facebook and Twitter (and began blogging) when I read a book about getting one's writing published.  The authors of the book suggested that, in this (good-for-nothing) modern society, one needs to utilize social media to promote one's writing, so that explains that.  But, even though I have written 3 books, Veganman (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZSHNT5I), American Loser (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HQSO9RO) & Farts and Literature (featuring Bald D-Bag) (https://www.amazon.com/Farts-Literature-featuring-Bald-D-Bag-ebook/dp/B074MCFPVD/ref=sr_1_2?s=digita), that I think are good, I am not a successful writer (not even close).
I have tweeted a lot of tweets about animal cruelty (https://twitter.com/TheBaldVegan).  It can be a good way to express oneself.  But what has all this tweeting accomplished?  NOTHING!  It's still socially acceptable for BILLIONS of people to needlessly, and selfishly, support animal cruelty by buying meat, leather, fur, etc.
Facebook and Twitter (Even the names are shit.) are colossal time wasters.  I don't waste as much time with them as most people probably do, because I don't have a smartphone.  I suppose F & T are what these morons are looking at most of the time: or Instagram, Snapchat, etc.; it's all SHIT!  Fuck social media!  Fuck life in this worthless modern society!  I have fallen into these traps a little bit.  Has anyone liked or retweeted my tweet?  Has anyone liked what I put up on Facebook?  I have checked.  I just did it a few seconds ago!  The result: no new likes or retweets (what I deserve for taking the time to check something so pathetic).  People taking, and posting, selfies makes me sick!  Even just the word "selfie" makes my skin crawl.  It says so much about what's wrong with this society that there's this very commonly-used word that's all about people using their goddamn smartphones to take pictures of themselves to put onto worthless, time-wasting social media.  I'm sorry.  Did I say it was worthless?  Hell, no!  Not to stalkers and perverts.  I'm sure they have used social media to their advantage.  At least one person used Craigslist to commit a murder.  Does anyone doubt that predators have used dating websites to commit rape?
I woke up this morning to see that someone unfollowed me on my jokey Twitter account (https://twitter.com/TheBaldDBag), which has been a total fucking failure!  I had hoped that it would generate interest in my comedic book, Farts and Literature.  NOT ONE PERSON HAS BOUGHT IT.  MY LIFE IS A SHITTY JOKE.  You come up with some good jokes, you put them out there, and hardly anyone gives a fuck, because there are TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THE WORLD: all desperate for attention.  Who needs this shit?  It's garbage!  By the way, of course I returned the favor and unfollowed the prick. 

Hibernation

Bumpkin's Butt

Groundhogs hibernate, and this winter, 3 of them are hibernating in my apartment: Sloopy, Lucinda, and Bumpkin.  Hopefully, it will only be a winter thing.  However, once one has lived indoors, living outdoors presumably loses some of its charm.  Thankfully, groundhogs are small.  I only have 1 bedroom.  I'm glad I bought that futon.  All 3 sisters fit quite comfortably on it.  I'll probably have to buy another TV.  All of us like to watch 30 Rock and The Office, but we don't agree on everything.  Bumpkin likes to watch CSI, Sloopy's favorite show is Dancing with the Stars, and all of them like any show that features food and how to cook or prepare it: especially Lucinda.  I hope that Bumpkin doesn't find out about cable while she's staying here.  I don't have cable.  If she becomes aware of it, I suppose she'll force me to order it, and then I can probably look forward to hours of Food Network channel watching everyday.  I don't like to watch the Food Network.  There is enough temptation out there.  Delicious food is advertised on TV, on the radio, and in magazines.  It might be mentioned in a book you're reading or by a friend at any time.  Intentionally watching scrumptious food on TV is a bad idea in my opinion.  You're liable to make yourself hungry even when you really aren't. 
I'm doing enough shopping and cooking as it is.  The sisters want to try every vegetarian dish they see prepared on TV.  Bumpkin, since she's the only one of the sisters who can write, is always adding foods to the shopping list.  She's also constantly jotting down recipes for me to try.
Groundhog poop has been a problem; as I expected it would.  They were pooping everywhere but the futon.  I doubt I'll get any of my security deposit back when I eventually move.  Although, Bumpkin could help me get every penny of it if she wanted to do so.  After cleaning poop off the carpet many times, I bought some kitty litter and a litter box.  I explained, to Bumpkin, the purpose of these items.  Fortunately, she was receptive to the idea, and she showed her sisters, through example, how to use the litter box.  So things have definitely improved.  But they just eat more and more.  And, obviously, the more they eat, the more they'll poop.  I've never had a cat before.  I'm not used to changing a litter box 8 times a day.  It seems like it's only going to get worse.  
What will happen when they become groundhog adolescents?  Are they going to have several groundhog boys over?  Are they going to have sleepovers with their friends?  What if Bumpkin learns how to use my computer?  Will she be meeting groundhogs on Craigslist?  Will she spend so much time chatting that I'll never get to use my own computer anymore?  Why, oh why, did I cause all of this by naming Bumpkin Bumpkin and subsequently allow the dark netherworld to bestow her superpowers upon her?