Contempt

I find it very difficult to live in this society, because I have contempt for
-mentally-competent adults that selfishly support animal cruelty by buying meat, leather, fur, etc.
-mentally-competent adults that have procreated
-mentally-competent adults that have brought animals into this world
-mentally-competent adults that spend a lot of time with their faces in their smartphones.
So, once again, obviously, I am not targeting children or the mentally disabled.  I get along with the sorts of people I have just mentioned, mostly because I have to.  I get along quite well with a coworker who eats meat and has kids.  I like her.  Interestingly, we were talking one day, and she admitted, unsolicited, that life is shitty.  Do you regret having kids?  That's the question I wanted to ask but didn't.  I need to do whatever I need to do to get through the day at work.  If I hated, and scowled at, all my coworkers that eat meat, have procreated, and have their faces in their phones every chance they get, I'd be hated.  I have no friends, so I need to try to get along with my coworkers as well as I can.  But whenever I see them eating meat, or hear them talking about their favorite meat dishes, I can feel the contempt bubbling up inside me.  Likewise when I see them with (or hear them talking about) their kids.  Seeing them with their faces in their phones reminds me of the contempt too.
So, again, leaving it all for the wilderness seems like a good idea.  I wouldn't have to be around people I have contempt for.  But the same issues come to mind: bugs bugging me, lack of heat, showers, and toilet paper.  It seems like I can't win.     

Unbelievable!

I work in a large hardware store.  Yesterday, I saw a strange sight.  A little girl was holding a guinea pig in a piece of cloth.  Later, the girl, the guinea pig, and, I assume, her parents approached me.  The man had a question for me.  I noticed that the girl hit the guinea pig on the face at least a few times.  She did this with the palm of her hand.  I didn't say anything, for which I am ashamed of myself.  I should have said something.  I don't know much about guinea pigs.  The guinea pig did not make a noise while this was happening, nor did she try to squirm away.  Maybe she didn't hit her hard.  It's no excuse.  I was at work.  Fear of being fired may have been the reason why I didn't act.  That is my only explanation.  But I was a coward.  I have said things to other people before about how they, or their kids, are treating animals.  Animals need people to take a stand and help them when they need it.  I let that tiny, defenseless animal down.  Is she living a life of fear and pain, because this little girl is terrorizing her?  Do the parents not care if the girl treats the guinea pig like a toy, and not a living animal that can feel pain and fear?  And, once again, there is another reason to not bring kids into this world.  Many of them abuse, terrorize, and torture animals.
I had hoped I would get another chance, but I didn't see that family again.  If I do see them again, I hope I will have the courage to say something.  The man was a tough-looking, muscle-bound guy, but I shouldn't be afraid.  Right is right, and wrong is wrong.     
But, again, as an animal lover, how can I possibly enjoy myself while tons of horrible shit is happening to animals all the time?
 

Joy Denied

Yesterday, as I was looking at a cute baby, I couldn't help thinking that I have never experienced the joy of holding my own baby (Because I have no kids.).  And, hopefully, I never will.  I'm not nearly selfish enough to bring a baby into this world.  And on another day in which my body is racked with pain, my neighbors have woken me up, and I'm preparing to go to my job that is unsatisfying (to say the least), I know that I have made the right choice to not bring someone into this hell. 

Computer Blues

 
I have not been able to open my documents using the Microsoft Word Starter 2010 program that came preinstalled on my computer for days now.  I'm usually pretty good at finding answers to my computer problems: not this time.  Perhaps it had something to do with the recent "free" upgrade to Windows 10 that Microsoft offered to me.  If I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have taken the bait.  I have been able to use Libreoffice to open documents that I don't care that much about.  But I was updating Veganman before this happened, which was written using MS Word Starter 2010.  I'm nervous about opening, working on, and saving it using Libreoffice.  I don't want it to get messed up or changed.  I'm hoping it'll be OK (if I have to do it that way), because I can't find a solution to this dilemma.
So I think it's likely I'll change my previous position and rat on my next-door neighbor.  These kids are so f*cking loud.  Their mother is loud too.  She obviously doesn't care to be a good parent and keep her kids under control.  I've seen 2 kids, and I've seen 3 kids.  I assume she has 3 young children.  She's a shitty parent.  That's how I feel about it.  She allows her kids to bother the neighbors.  She acts as though she, and her kids, are entitled to be here.  We'll see about that.  I don't want to be a snitch, but I don't want to deal with this shit either.  Since snitches are so hated, doesn't it take balls to be one?  If I can improve my living situation by making a phone call, why wouldn't I?  That's me.  I don't care what other people think.  I don't care what other people do.  I think and do what I feel like thinking and doing.
Have I mentioned how much I hate pooping?  I hate yawning almost as much.  That's how I start the day: pooping and yawning.  Yawning while pooping.  Do I even have to explain why pooping sucks?  I hope not.  It sucks even more for me because of my OCD; it makes me wipe excessively.  Yawning sucks.  It's boring.  Sometimes, my mouth opens so widely, that it hurts my jaw.              

Tiny Leopard-Print Shoes

How could I?  Sure, there's a violation,but I can't unsettle children.  It's not right.  My neighbor has been harboring peoplein his apartment that, I believe, aren't on the lease.  At least 2 young children, and their mother, have been joining my neighbors: a married couple.  There has been extra noise to deal with.  The kids have been loud as early as 7:00 am in the hallway, which I've heard.  First of all, it's not cool to snitch.  Secondly, it's not cool to mess with the lives of kids.  I need to tell myself there things, because I don't like the situation.  I need to try to stop myself from calling the rental office about this situation.  It helps to picture the tiny leopard-print shoes I saw in the hallway outside my neighbor's door.  They must belong to one of the girls that's staying there.  I haven't walked a mile in her shoes, and I never will.  My feet couldn't fit into them. 

Family

 
There has been much negativity posted here and with good reason.  But this one will be at least partially different.  I've been clear about my opinions when it comes to biological parents.  This is an f-upped world; therefore, it is f-upped to bring someone into it.  That being said, I'm feeling warm and fuzzy toward my mother, my grandma, and my mother's "boyfriend" (He's older than a boy.).
My car died approximately a year ago.  I don't have the money to buy another.  I could have bought one on credit, but I was really just overwhelmed by the thought of it.  Besides, I'm living on credit cards, and I'm constantly going further into debt.  I have resented my parents for bringing me into this world: especially in the way they did-2 kids fooling around and not using protection.  It's far from an ideal situation.  So I was ignoring my mother for a while.  I've ignored her for years.  But she emailed me, asked me how I was, and I honestly told her.  Not too long after, she asked me if I wanted her car.  If I did, she'd buy another one.  I needed help, so I accepted her generous offer.  After some excited waiting, I finally found out that she had bought a used car and was ready to give me her old car.
So I took the bus to New York City.  I took the subway to Queens, which is where my grandma has lived for decades.  I took the elevator to her apartment, and reunited with my mother and my grandma.  They were both kind and generous to me.  My grandma threw money at me.  Then my mother and I went to her house on Long Island.  I was exhausted, so I went to bed early.  The next day, we had a great morning.  We got along very well.  I was so appreciative of what they had done for me.  My mother let me know that grandma had made it all possible by providing her with the money to buy her car, so she could give me her old one.  My mother's boyfriend did some work on the car and told me some things I needed to know about it.
I made the trip back home a couple of days ago.  I hit crazy traffic in NYC (shocker!), but I got home safely, and now I have a car.  I am very thankful toward my grandma, mother, and her boyfriend.  I am understanding why people say family is so important.    

Never Give Up

sisters

Last week, I was disappointed with myself.  I'm less so now.  That was a strange incident.  I'm ready for it now.
Recently, a loud group of kids saw a groundhog or two.  They saw him and/or her go into the hole that's right next to the building I live in.  They began to have a discussion about what they should do.  One of them suggested trying to chase them.
The oldest girl in the group made me proud.  She said, "How would you like to be chased?"  It gave me hope for the future.
Then one of the other kids said, "I'd love it; I love to play tag."  They're not "playing tag," kid.  They''re terrified and running for their lives.  One of them threw something, like a rock, down the hole.  That was my cue.
"Leave them alone," I said out my bedroom window.  They looked up at me.  They seemed to be startled.  They ran away.  I did not yell.  I did not have a mean tone in my voice.  Regardless, they stopped terrifying defenseless animals.
I'm not the only person around here who loves groundhogs.  I heard something, so I looked out the window.  Two maintenance workers were driving around on a golf cart (They don't walk anywhere.).  One of the guys was saying, "Look at them!" Then he said it again.  He was referring to two baby groundhogs who were running for cover.  To my eyes, he looked like a cool, possibly tough, young guy.  But I heard his voice raise when he told his coworker to look at the groundhogs.  I believe he was delighted by the sight of the baby groundhogs.
Then, when I went downtown, I saw groundhogs grazing there.  They were doing it in an area where people were all over the place.  There was a workplace on one side and plenty of downtown traffic on the other.  They didn't have a lot of room to themselves.  Not surprisingly, they didn't seem to be as afraid of people as the suburban groundhogs that I'm used to.  Two guys looked at them and began speaking to each other in Spanish.  I kept an eye on them, but it seemed like they were just looking.  Groundhogs are a North American beastie.  Not everyone is as fortunate as I am to see them every day: except for winter.        

Leave the Rabbits Alone!

baby groundhog

I had seen some kids playing around here.  They were chasing and terrorizing wild rabbits.  I never saw them hurt any rabbits, but I saw them poking at them with sticks.  Obviously, you would be terrorized if you were being chased by giants, and you couldn't understand what they were saying or what they wanted.  They can play amongst themselves, and not be living nightmares for little wild animals.  I haven't hesitated in the past to intervene in such situations, but I regretted not saying anything the first time I saw it.  I had another chance today.  I said something, but it wasn't loud enough, so they didn't hear me.  I saw a girl throw a tennis racket at a rabbit.  The next time they came around, they heard me.  All I said was, "Leave the rabbits alone!"  And they did.  Unfortunately, it's only natural for humans to want to make life miserable for animals.  If protecting them is the right thing to do, then do it.  I certainly wouldn't have touched those kids.  All I'm willing to do is talk to them or yell at them.  Heroes of mine include Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr, both believed in non-violent resistance.
On a more positive note, I have come to realize there are at least five baby groundhogs living right next to my building.  So far, Veronica is my choice for mother of the year.  She was out grazing with one of her babies.  Suddenly, she ran toward the family hole in the ground.  That's something I've seen groundhogs do plenty of times.  This time was different.  On her way to the hole, she made several high-pitched noises with her mouth.  It was instantly obvious why she did that.  It was for the sake of her baby, who immediately followed her mother to the hole.  What was all this about?  I looked around and saw an animal I had never seen around here before: a large raccoon.  Veronica watched the raccoon carefully from her position, which was right at the hole.  It's possible she had never seen one before.  Even after the raccoon had been gone for several minutes, she continued to look around cautiously.  Her baby even helped out.  She stood on her hind legs and looked around.  I'm not sure if she even knew what she was looking for, but her intentions were good.  Baby groundhogs are among the cutest animals I've ever seen.               

I Got Time to Blog

Groundhog.

It was so smart of me to mention the standup comedy contest.  I just failed to advance to the finals.  But it was only my second time doing it, and it went much better than the first time.  It was a good crowd, though.  I was lucky to perform in front of a house that was nearly full.
I've previously mentioned here that I've seen nasty birds pecking at, and, I assumed, bullying groundhogs.  But I recently saw something quite strange.  A bird went so far as to jump onto the back of a groundhog, who seemed to do nothing to get the rider off of her.  The bird pecked at the groundhog, and I couldn't help wondering if the purpose of the pecking is to remove bugs from the groundhog's fur.  After all, as cute as they look, I don't know how clean they are.  They live outside: mostly underground, so I suppose they have to deal with their share of parasitic bugs.
I'm so happy to have met a very nice vegan woman.  We had a date, and it went very well.  It's more important that someone I'm dating be vegan or vegetarian than anything else.  It doesn't hurt that she's very pretty with a great smile.  I'm so glad she let me cuddle with her.  For those that don't know, touching, even non-sexual, is so incredibly beneficial to those being touched.  Massage, for instance, can do a world of good to someone.  It can help heal physical ailments.
Once again, I felt the need to intervene on behalf of my beloved groundhogs.  I heard kids talking around the area where the groundhog home is.  I looked out the window, and a kid was trying to fill the hole they live in with debris.
"Stop doing that," I said out the window.
The 2 kids looked up at me.  "Why?"  one of them asked defiantly.
"Cause there are animals living in there," I replied.
"Do they bite?" the kid asked.
I did not answer that.  I should have.  They certainly bite each other; that's for sure.
This kid did something strange.  He proudly pulled a $10 bill from his pocket and showed it to me.  "I'll give you $10 if I can fill this hole," he said with all kinds of braggadocio, as though $10, in his world, equaled a million dollars.
I declined his offer, and eventually, they left.  I went out there to clear whatever he had put in the hole.  The branch was the easy part, but he also had thrown a rock down there that I wasn't able to reach: even with my baseball bat.  But I was overjoyed to see that, later, the groundhogs had gone out anyway.  That rock hadn't stopped them, and that was the important thing.  

Animals Improve Life

Look at that foot.

Animals improve life, so we should treat them well and not murder them.   It wasn't a human that cheered me up today.  When I was watching a groundhog eat, then she stood on her hind legs to look around, I chuckled.  When I saw rabbits chasing each other, since I assumed (hoped) it was playful rather than aggressive, it also delighted me.
I wish I could have a pet.  Where I live right now, they aren't allowed, but there are more reasons than that for me to not have one.  I love dogs and cats so much.  I think it's a shame when cats never get to  go outside, though.  Neither should people let their cats go totally footloose and fancy free, because they are predators, and they're liable to kill mice and birds for no good reason.  If I had a cat, I believe I would walk him or her on a leash if he or she didn't mind it.  I don't live my life in fear.  I'm not afraid of death, so why should I be afraid of anything else?  If someone wants to make fun of me because I'm walking a cat, they can go to hell.  I don't care about them or what they think of me or anything.  If you're a guy, and you're worried that you're not appearing macho enough, then how manly are you really?  It's the real manly guy who doesn't care what other people say or think, but if someone crosses the line and touches him (or his pet), when he has no business doing so, he will be ready to strike.
I really feel like I have nothing to lose.  I'm not a rock star, movie star, or highly-paid athlete, therefore I'm not very happy about my life.  I don't fear death.  I'm thinking, more and more, I shouldn't take ANY crap.  If somone feels the need to attack me in any way, why shouldn't I reciprocate in a similar fashion?
Of course, there is violence, intimidation, and bullying in the animal world.  It's just the way it is.  This is an angry world.  That's why I'm glad I've never brought anyone into it.  This place is way too violent, vulgar, and vile for my kids.
I'm on a mission to try to help animals as long as I live.  It's the best reason for living I've been able to come up with.   

Bad Groundhog Mommy

What happened to your cheek, baby?

Betsy is a bad groundhog mommy.  As far as she is concerned, her daughters can't go out while she is out.  One of my favorite groundhogs ever, Runty, cautiously approached her mother.  I saw trouble brewing.  Sure enough, she chased after Runty.  Runty ran like her life was at stake; maybe it was.  Betsy chases all of her daughters around.  I guess they're not cute enough for her anymore, and maybe she thinks they should leave the area.  It's a real shame.  Young groundhogs have so much to fear around here.  Of course, yesterday was Independence Day, which meant that idiots were setting off fireworks.  I hate that crap.  I saw the poor, scared groundhogs.  Why must we terrorize the animals of this world so much?
Sometimes the young groundhogs cry when their mommy is chasing them.  I don't blame them.  They have so much to fear.  The damn out-of-control kids around here seem to want to terrorize animals more than anything else.  Thank goodness I'm here to protect them.  I've told kids to leave animals alone twice, and I'll do it as much as I need to.  If their fathers have a problem with that, they better watch it.  I don't care how tough he thinks he is, I won't back down when it comes to protecting animals.  It's wrong for the little bastards to chase and throw rocks at wild animals.  I'll put the fear of god into cruel kids if I need to.
I feel bad for the stray cats in the area, but they scare the hell out of the young groundhogs too.  They're so cute, but they live in a world that frightens them so much.
Betsy is not the only bad groundhog mommy; Sheila was too.  I saw her attack one of her youngsters.  This is such a violent world.  Kill or be killed, they say.  I'm all for peace.  I'll attack no person or animal for no reason.  But if I need to defend myself, or another, I'm ready.  I'm in shape, and I know how to fight.  I won't start trouble, but I'll end it if I have to.
The groundhogs are smart.  I watched Betsy run to the fence which marks the end of the apartment complex.  Then she went under it and into no man's land, which is a narrow wilderness area that stands between this apt. complex and a Wal-Mart.  She'd be safe there.  I wonder if a groundhog dug that hole that goes under the fence.  They are good diggers.  I love 'em all.   

Good Deed for the Day

I won't let them hurt my groundhog friends.

We should be guardian angels for all the animals out there who need our help.  I heard some kids talking.  Their voices were coming from an area that contains the hole/home for a mother and her 5 baby groundhogs.  I had to see what they were doing.  I looked out the window.  They were throwing rocks and glass toward the hole.  I said "Leave them alone!"  The kids looked at me.  "What are you doing?"  I asked.
"Filling it up," said one of the kids.
I said, "No, don't do that.  There are little animals living in there.  Leave them alone."   The oldest of the kids looked at me with what seemed to be defiance, but I think they listened to me.  Then they ran off to somewhere else.
I had to go down and see if things were okay for my groundhog friends.   It wasn't okay.  The kids had thrown many rocks, pieces of glass, and sticks into the hole.  I can't believe how efficiently they blocked the hole.  Of course I removed as much as I could, and I tossed the rocks and glass underneath a nearby bush, because this was the second time I saw people throwing rocks at groundhogs, so if I hide them, maybe they'll have nothing to throw at them.
It must have been a very traumatic experience for my groundhog friends.  These kids put so much debris in that hole, and blocked it so completely, that if they couldn't dig their ways out, they might have starved to death.  Maybe they'd even be forced to cannibalize each other. 
So you see how animals can use our help.  Everything happens for a reason.  It's not just chance that I, someone who loves animals, would live right next to a groundhog hole.  I am my brother's keeper.  I think only one groundhog has come out so far today.  Poor things must be terrorized.  It's such a shame that people, especially kids, would attack animals.  It's such typically crappy human behavior. 
Anyway, maybe I'll have a chance to do more good things, but I've guess I've done at least one good deed today.  I got those kids to leave the groundhogs alone, and I cleared lots of rocks and glass out of their way so they could get out the usual way.  Try to do good deeds for animals, it feels good.

The Face of Evil

How could a grown man try to hurt little babies like these?

Evil lurks behind many different faces.  I saw one this week.  Fortunately, I happened to be looking out my bedroom window as an elderly man walked across the grass toward the groundhog hole/home that's right next to the building I live in.  I suppose he saw the groundhogs frantically scamper into their home once they saw him coming.  He began by making a sudden move to frighten them.  Then he picked up rocks and began throwing them at point blank range into the hole at the baby groundhogs: not on my freaking watch.
"What are you doing?"  I yelled out the window to him.
He stopped throwing rocks and looked around to see who said that.  He saw me at the window.  He seemed guilty; like he'd been busted.  He smiled and said something that I didn't entirely catch, but I think he said something about how they damage the ground or some such garbage.  They're on this Earth, so they obviously belong here, and they have the right to live here in whatever way they see fit.
My adrenaline was pumping, so I don't remember if I told him to leave the animals alone.  I think I did, but my memory is a little fuzzy.  This guy's cruelty blew me away.  I think he's just a bully.  Now he's old and feeble, so he can't bully someone like me, so instead he terrorizes some baby groundhogs.  What's even worse about it is there's at least one bully among the babies.  One time, I watched from my window as a baby groundhog kept trying to get into the hole, but it seemed like at least one of the babies wasn't letting her enter.  So it's possible that one or more of the babies was having trouble getting to safety while this coward was throwing rocks at them.
Today, I heard a bunch of kids running around.  They were chasing and terrorizing rabbits.  I didn't like it, but as long as they were just chasing them, I'd figured I'd stay out of it.  When I saw that the largest of the kids was throwing rocks at a rabbit, I knew it was time to intervene.  I went downstairs and walked toward the kids.  They noticed.me.
"Don't hurt any animals," I said to them.  "Don't throw anything at them."
The largest boy said, "Okay."  So I went back inside.
I realize I can get into a lot of trouble, but I don't want to passively watch as people try to hurt animals.  I'm against fighting; it's stupid.  But if I see someone beating an animal, my plan is to tell them to stop.  And if they don't stop, I might have to take action.  And in such a situation, it's highly likely that I would be the one in trouble with the police.  But our legal system exists mostly to protect people: not animals.  Pets have some rights, though they are obviously abused on a massive scale.  Wild animals and "food" animals like pigs, cows, and chickens have very little in the way of rights.  And all I'm really referring to is the right to not be beaten, tortured, and killed.      

Let's Fight Bullying

I won't let them bully you Lucinda.

I did it again.  Yesterday, I looked out the window and saw Sloopy eating grass.  I also couldn't help noticing that there were many birds all around her.  I don't know exactly what kind of birds they are.  I've previously referred to them as black birds, but I doubt that's really accurate.  They're not black; they're multicolored, but mostly brown.  It's easier to list what they're not.  They're not crows, ravens, robins, sparrows, cardinals, doves, hawks, falcons, or eagles.  They are aggressive.  They attack each other.  One had something in her beak, and was trying to enjoy it, but the other brown birds kept chasing her wherever she went.
Anyway, because these brown birds were surrounding sweet Sloopy, I decided to watch for a little while.  It didn't take long for one of them to approach Sloppy from behind.  I didn't like the looks of it.  Sure enough, the bird started by pecking her tail.  I was ready to go, but I held off a bit.  I wasn't sure if Sloopy could feel her tail being pecked.  Soon after, the bird pecked her in the butt.  That's it!  "Leave her alone!" I yelled out the open window  Sloopy ran for cover and several birds flew away.  I regret that when I do this, I frighten the groundhogs I'm trying to protect, but at least it puts a temporary end to the bullying.  Until I come up with a better idea, it will have to do.
I was bullied when I was a kid.  It was so bad, that I may never forget it.  I don't remember anyone stepping in to help me.  I would have appreciated it.  This is a violent and cruel world; it always has been.  I encourage you to try to end bullying when you see it.  You'll feel better if you do.  Years ago, I was in Central Park, and I saw some kids throwing rocks at some ducks in a pond.  I wanted to tell them to stop doing it, but I was afraid.  I was thinking that one or more parents of these kids might become irate if I tried to tell their kid what to do.  I regret being a coward in that situation.  There would have been nothing wrong with me telling those kids to stop throwing rocks at the ducks.  They had no business doing that.  The ducks didn't deserve to be attacked like that.  Sometimes, there really is a right and a wrong in a given situation.  The kids were in the wrong, and they needed someone to tell them that.  I was in the wrong for not doing anything about it.  I hate fear.  I'm always trying to overcome it.  "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."  FDR said that, and it's one of the quotes that I agree with the most.
I'm not suggesting becoming a vigilante, like Batman, to fight bullying.  I'm just suggesting that we speak up and stand up for what is right and against what is wrong.  Calmly and politely asking someone to stop bullying an animal or another person would probably get the best result.  Even if it doesn't end the bullying, at least you took a stand and tried to stop something that shouldn't be happening.  At least it probably gave the bully some food for thought.  He or she will probably realize to some degree that he or she can't necessarily bully with impunity.   Of course, if a situation is out of control, and a person or an animal is being beaten mercilessly, and verbal attempts to stop the abuse haven't worked, then the abuser might need to hear a warning.  And if he or she doesn't heed that warning, then it might be time to take action to protect a person or an animal who needs it.  I'd rather be the person that took action than the guy who watched a man stab a woman to death.