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| Three of the five babies. |
Bumpkin continues to wage war against the humans for control of the world. "I'm not doing this for myself. I don't need to be fighting a war against all the Earth's humans, I'd rather surf the web, watch TV, or go out with boy groundhogs, but humans are destroying this planet with their ways. People pollute, they're greedy, violent, sadistic, selfish, and brutal. Us animals have lived under your thumbs for too long. It's our turn. Animals must be given control of the world or I will take it: no matter how many human lives must be lost. I shall punctuate my remarks by launching a fireball that will destroy a vessel within a fleet of Japanese whalers that is attempting to kill whales," said Bumpkin.
She used her powers to open the screen, another fireball of destruction emerged from her left front paw, which promptly flew out of the window, grew in size while hovering outside the window, then abruptly headed off, at great speed, toward its target.
"That's it. Interview over," declared Bumpkin.
"Yes, ma'am," said local TV broadcaster Lia Lando.
The crew began to pack up their junk. This interview had been shot in my apartment. So much for keeping a low profile. I think the only way I'll get my security deposit back is if Bumpkin uses her powers to help me.
"Will you get out of here already?" Bumpkin queried.
"Sure, we're just packing up our stuff. It takes a little while," said Lia.
"No it doesn't," said Bumpkin. The crew's equipment began to fly out of the window and land on the grass outside the building. In a matter of seconds, all their stuff was out of my apartment. "Now get lost," she commanded. They all left. Lia Lando is the most beautiful woman I've ever had over; that's for sure. I doubt a more beautiful woman will ever grace this unit again.
"Bumpkin, my apartment is going to be a huge target now. What are we gonna do?"
"I don't know how many times I have to say this. The harder they come, the harder they'll fall. You are fortunate enough to be the safest human on Earth, as long as you don't test my patience too much, because you have my protection, cause you're on my team and...What do you even do around here?"
"Well, for one thing, you and your sisters have been living in my apartment for several months now. Also, you told me I'm the best groundhog masseuse of all time."
"That's right," replied Bumpkin. "It's time to justify your existence."
"Yes, ma'am," I said, as I made my way over to her and began to rub her tiny shoulders.
"Turn on the news," she said.
"Sure Mistress Bumpkin," I replied. I stopped massaging her just long enough to turn the TV on.
"Once again, if you're just joining us, we have breaking news of a Japanese whaling vessel exploding in the middle of a whale hunt. The vessel has been completely destroyed," said a pretty female newscaster.
Sorry no photo. Something must be wrong with blogger today. I've tried over and over again, and they won't let me post a photo today. I'll fix it when I can. Cheerio!
