Betrayed!

Betrayed by the procreators!  I pathetically, and futilely, vie for attention with my feeble efforts, but can I get enough?  No!  I'm a human ant in a world that contains 7.5 BILLION human ants!  Good luck to you, sad little ant! 

Arrested

I used to be able to say that I've never been arrested: not any more.  I am a memoirist, so, for now, I'm thinking I'll save the full story for another one of my seldom-read eBooks.  Suffice it to say that I'm at the lowest point in my life so far, and that's saying something. 
I've been dealing with the aftermath: court appearances, appointments with lawyers, and asking my job to let me go to these things.  I have a long road of pain-in-the-ass shit ahead.
Also, this has been a very shitty weekend as far as my asshole neighbor fucking with me goes. 
I'm thinking I don't care about my life anymore.  Because of the depression I have, I've thought that the further I slide to the bottom, the better.  I'd rather be dead than alive.  I'm only alive because I'm a coward: too scared to commit suicide.  Life is a nightmare.  It really is.  And when I read stuff written by intelligent people, they back me up on this.  It really is insane that people procreate they way they do and continue this cycle of misery, pain, and suffering.  But I'm just repeating myself. 
Fuck life in society on this planet.  Life is shit (in society) on this planet.  I'd throw it all away and be homeless in the wilderness if I wasn't addicted to toilet paper and showers.  Fuck you society, for getting me addicted to toilet paper and showers: the only good things you came up with.

Death Culture

 
I'm a bitcher and a moaner.  I'm a sad sack.  Hey, you, don't worry, be happy!  Don't sweat the small stuff (And it's all small stuff!).
Thanks so much.  I feel so much better.
Here's the problem; once again, we have a mass shooting in the U.S.  I've said life sucks.  You're not supposed to say "Life sucks."  You're supposed to turn that frown upside down.  Don't you think these shooters think (or thought) that life sucks?  Maybe, if they didn't think that life sucks, they wouldn't have thrown their f*cking lives away (along with others').  Same thing with terrorists.  If you're living in some shit hole in Afghanistan with nothing, what do you have to lose?  I hate that the image Americans put out is we're all billionaires and millionaires.  It fosters hate.
If you have nothing to lose, and you want to die, you might want to take others with you.  You're gonna die.  You hate society and it's inequities.  Someone who doesn't mind dying, and wants to harm others, is very dangerous and hard to stop.  
I haven't bitched and moaned about this in a while, so it's time.  Obviously, I've been brought into the world, and I resent it every day.  I hate my parents.  They brought me into a world of death, pain, disease, mass shootings, weapons, bullies, terrorism, etc.  I really could go on and on about what's wrong with this society and this world.  All you need to do is go "back in the day" with my posts.  I'm sure I've covered the subject fully.
But, seriously, do you think it's a stretch that virtually all of these mass shooters, not to mention other murder/suicide folks, thought that life sucks?  They probably hated life.  They probably hated it so much that they wanted to take others with them.
This is a world full of violence, pain, and misery, yet people continue to procreate at a rate that I find to be insane.  Biological parents are selfish.  They procreate for their own sake.  They want a baby to cheer them up.  They want a reason to live.  They want a friend.  They want to make someone that will take care of them when they're too old to take care of themselves.
Me?  I've never brought a person or animal into this f*cked-up world, and I'm proud of that every single day.  Unfortunately, it's been done to me.                

I am not a human being; I'm an animal

I hereby officially renounce my human status.  I am no longer a human.  Hopefully, I will retain my humanly rights.  I'm lucky to not be a pig, chicken, cow, fish, lobster, cow, or turkey.  Obviously, most people don't care about the way these animals are treated.
Which is why I don't want to be a human.  Every single day I'm reminded how insane this "human" society is.  I'm a vegan.  Most people eat meat, which means they don't care about the animals they're eating.  HUMANS DON'T NEED TO EAT MEAT TO SURVIVE.  In fact, it's much healthier to eat vegan whole foods: veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds, and whole grains.  Most people procreate, which means they don't care about their sons and daughters.  This is a f**cked-up, violent world.  I love my kids too much to bring them into this world.  There is so much pain, misery, and suffering in this world.  To continue this cycle of misery is practically the definition of insanity.   
Animals are innocent.  They are following their natural instincts.  They don't understand things the way humans do.  Their societies aren't nearly as crazy as human society is.  They kill because they are hungry or to protect themselves or their young uns.  Obviously, humans are the biggest murderers in the history of the world.  Even the dinosaurs didn't kill at the levels that humans do ("food" animals, the holocaust, war, terrorism).          
I am so crazy, that I briefly considered crawling instead of walking.  I decided against it because it would probably be too painful and uncomfortable (knees on asphalt).
So people don't think they're animals.  That's crazy.  People have so much in common with animals: mouths, heads, teeth, blood, lips, lungs, brains, drinking water, eating food, sleeping, peeing, pooping, living, dying, skin, noses, limbs, etc.  People are animals.  They're just the worst animals to ever walk the Earth.  The most violent.  The most selfish.  The most destructive.  Good riddance.     

I'm a Mess

It's true.  I'm a mess.  I don't fit into this world.  I'm not the normal person, and I don't want to be.  The normal person gets married, brings children into this wicked world, and aspires to have the best landscaping on their block.  And, of course, they want to have more money than anyone they know.  I must be crazy, I think the life of one mouse is worth more than all the money in the world, and I stand by that sentiment.
By the way, I was sure about it, and now I'm super-sure about it.  It is cruel for people to bring people and animals into this world.  This is why.  Animals bring other animals into the world, and that's fine.  They are just following natural instincts and urges.  It's completely possible that no animal has ever made the connection between sex and procreation.  They have sex because they are driven to do so.  But humans know what life has to offer on this planet: pain, depression, suicide, bullying, sickness, disease, suffering, paralysis, loss of limbs, rape, pedophilia, war, murder, violence, incest, torture, terrorism, loss of loved ones, deterioration of mind and body due to aging, and death.  But even though we're aware of all this misery, most of us choose to bring people into the world.  I've never brought anyone into the world, and I'll never want to.  Just because it's been done to me, that doesn't make it okay for me to do it to someone else.  I suppose that's what a lot of biological parents are thinking.  "It's good enough for me, so it's good enough for you."     
I can't believe I forgot to post last week.  It was shocking for me to realize that.  I blame being a mess and drinking on that.
I survive mostly for the sake of others.  I am ready to die.  I think life sucks; it's a lot more unhappiness than happiness.  But I try to survive, because I want to help animals, many of whom are living in a hell that's much worse than mine.  I also want to convince people to not bring other people and animals into this world of pain, misery, and violence.  So I have a reason to live, but how much pain can I endure?    

Sex is Overrated

Sex really is overrated.  Have you ever thought about how simple it is?  It is the act of inserting a pole into a hole.  It doesn't get much more simpler than that.  Yet people go bananas over sex.  It's somewhat understandable.  We're hardwired to want to have sex and procreate.  That's how the species continues.  I'm a big fan of hot women.  Last night, I watched a movie in which Gwyneth Paltrow was wearing black lingerie.  It was hot.
On the other hand, we have intellect and reasoning.  We can choose.  We can waste a lot of time and money chasing people to have sex with, or we can masturbate whenever we want to (within reason).  I'm a big fan of masturbation.  I do it nearly every day.  If I wasn't on Prozac, I'd probably do it more.  I find Prozac to be a bit of a sex drive reducer.  Masturbation is great.  It cuts to the chase.  What's the best part about sex?  Orgasm, of course.  That's what jerking off is all about.  As a matter of fact, I jacked off to the aforementioned scene in which Gwyneth Paltrow was cavorting about in black lingerie.  It was very satisfying.    
Sex can lead to unwanted pregnancy.  This leads to kids being born that aren't really wanted.  This leads to lives full of pain.  Sex can lead to diseases: like AIDS, chlamydia, herpes, and gonorrhea.  If one can't keep their urge under control, one might rape, which can ruin the lives of the victim and the rapist.  Some people are sexually attracted to children.  If they act on this attraction, more lives will be marred.  Countless lives have been ruined by sex.
I've written this here before, but I'm so glad I've never gotten a woman pregnant.  I'm so glad I've never brought someone into this cruel world to suffer.  I'm sure I'll never want to.  Too many people, and animals, have suffered horrible existences in this cold world of brutality.
My advice to you is to realize the ways in which sex can ruin your life and the lives of others.  Protected sex is preferable to unprotected sex, but protection can fail.  The only sure way to avoid unwanted pregnancy and STDs is to abstain from having sex.  Fear of getting a woman pregnant is part of the reason why I didn't have sex from the ages of 27-44: 17 years.  I have no regrets about that.