Plans

no explanation: except for the obvious: insanity

I've been meaning to do this for a while. I've tweeted that I can't do my job anymore, and it's true. it's so incredibly boring and repetitive. Not only do I see the same coworkers, but the same customers as well. I hate seeing those faces. I need a change.
Today, I sat on the counter while I had no customers in my fucking face, and a coworker said there was an email about sitting on counters and reading. Before I left, I briefly looked for that email, but didn't find it. I was, after all, wanting to get the fuck out of there ASAP as I always am when the day is finally over. I'll look for it tomorrow night when I'll have plenty of time.
I have no reason to doubt the email was sent. It seems like it's targeting me specifically. I sit on the counter, and I read when I get a chance to. What does the typical person do when they get a chance? They stare at their fucking phones. They text, surf the web, etc. Not me. I recently finally bought a smartphone, because the phone I had died. But I only have an inexpensive talk plan on it: no text and no Internet. I began sitting on the counter, because I have a lot of pain in my feet and legs, and standing all day doesn't help. I suppose I should probably tell them that. Maybe I should also tell them I have depression and OCD, and maybe that's why they think I'm a miserable "asshole."
So now I'm thinking compromise. I won't stop reading when I get a chance: no fucking way.  Seems like, all of a sudden, the store manager has a problem with it. The assistant store managers don't.  So maybe I'll just do what I used to do: lean on the counter.  But if the pain is too great, then I'll go back to sitting on the counter (There are 2, so I'm facing the 1 I'm using.).
There's the possibility of applying for another job in the store. Instead of being a cashier, I'd work in a department (If they'd hire me. I applied for a head cashier job, which I was def qualified for, & I didn't even get an interview: just an email saying "no thanks."). But then I wouldn't be able to stand on the anti-fatigue mats I stand on most of the time; I'd be walking on the concrete floor.  As I mentioned, I already have a lot of pain in my feet and legs. So I think I have to leave. God, I hate looking for a job; I really despise it. And I'm "unskilled," so my chances of getting a good job, that I like, are slim to none. What if I got a job where I have to sit all day? That's probably, in the long run, worse than standing all day. It's not good to bend your spine too much. It seems like we were meant to be "straight:" standing or lying down.
I feel best outside. I've thought about living in the wilderness. But the reality is I'm addicted to living in society with it's comforts (That we pay so dearly for.).  It's not realistic.
So, once again, death. I've contemplated suicide. I've threatened to do it. I've attempted to do it.  Living is pain. It's suffering.
Maybe I'll quit my job and do some traveling. I'll make sure to pack the nylon rope I bought to hang myself about 10 years ago. I don't know how long the trip would last. Being on the road by myself seems lonely, and, from what I remember, it is. I don't like driving at all; the intelligent, sensitive person is stressed out by it, because it's so dangerous. 
So all signs point to death. Even when I'm not working, I'm miserable. Work just takes it to another level.  

Uh

 

It's been a while. I'm still unhappy, depressed, suffering, in pain, miserable, etc. I still love animals (people, not so much). Again, I'm active on Twitter; my account is here: https://twitter.com/TheBaldVegan

This is where my 1st eBook, a memoir, is on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/American-Loser-Memoir-Coming-Achieving-ebook/dp/B00HQSO9RO/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1529065613&sr=1-5&keywords=american+loser

This is where my 2nd eBook, an animal-liberation thriller, is on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Veganman-Started-Liberation-Worlds-Animals-ebook/dp/B00ZSHNT5I/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1529065845&sr=1-1&keywords=veganman&dpID=514D0eG7tML&preST=_SY445_QL70_&dpSrc=srch

This is where my 3rd eBook, a comedic collection, is on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Farts-Literature-featuring-Bald-D-Bag-ebook/dp/B074MCFPVD/ref=sr_1_2?s=digita

I use pen names.


 

Antinatalism

It's been a while. As I've mentioned previously, I've been more active on Twitter, & the account is here: https://twitter.com/TheBaldVegan In fact, I've been sort of addicted to the instant gratification one can get from posting there.
It was there that I recently discovered the word "antinatalism." This is from Wikipedia:
"Antinatalism is a philosophical position that assigns a negative value to birth. Antinatalists argue that people should refrain from procreation because it is immoral. In scholarly and in literary writings, various ethical foundations have been adduced for antinatalism.  Some of the earliest surviving formulations of the idea that it would be better not to have been born come from ancient Greece.  The term "antinatalism" is in opposition to the term "natalism" or "pro-natalism", and was used probably for the first time as the name of the position by Théophile de Giraud (born 1968) in his book L'art de guillotiner les procréateurs: Manifeste anti-nataliste."
So those who know me from here know that I am an antinatalist.  It turns out that there are quite a few people like me. I didn't know that.  It seemed like I was surrounded by breeders.  Of course I am, but there is a whole community of people who, like me, think it's cruel to bring someone into this world of pain, fear, misery, violence, suffering, addiction, depression, suicide, death, disease, disabilities, hostility, stupidity, frustration, etc.
I'm still not working on my next book. I have no hope that anyone will have any interest in it, so it seems like a waste of time.