Quit Smoking or Die!

Don't smoke cigarettes; eat grass instead!

Cigarette-smoking is so stupid.  I think it's great that smokers have been forced out of so many places.  I love to see them freezing their asses off outside in the cold.  They deserve it.  What is the upside to cigarette-smoking?  Smokers really can't expect non-smokers to see it at all.  The downside to smoking is obvious to a non-smoker like myself.  Every aspect about it seems to be a drawback.  I really don't think I could have a girlfriend who smoked cigarettes.  I hate being around people who reek of cigarette smoke.
Any self-respecting government would have completely outlawed cigarettes by now.  It's the right thing to do.  Of course it won't happen as long as tobacco companies contribute mightily to politician's campaigns.  Regardless, this is what I think should happen.  Obama should announce that he's going to deliver an urgent address to the nation tonight, and several TV networks should broadcast it.  Then he should inform the American public that smoking cigarettes is illegal as of tomorrow.  Additionally, if the cops see anyone smoking, they have the right, and obligation, to shoot them dead on sight.  It would probably be a good thing for the cops.  I suppose many of them became police officers so they could shoot at people.  They're probably bored by the reality of being a cop, and it's likely that they rarely, if ever, get to discharge their firearms in the line of duty.
Besides, it's obvious that smokers want to die anyway.  Every one of them is committing suicide: just very slowly.  This way, we'll see who really wants to quit and who really wants to die.  Besides, there's no doubt that smokers are doing horrible things like smoking while they're pregnant, smoking near pregnant women, smoking near children, and the like.  As every sane adult should know, smokers harm not only their health, but also the health of those around them.  This is what makes many of them such a menace.
Don't worry, smokers.  This scenario will never happen anyway.  But a responsible government would ban cigarette smoking, since it has outlawed several other dangerous and addictive substances.  I haven't had a successful career so far.  This society frequently makes me feel like a loser, but at least I'm not a cigarette smoker.