Hibernation

Bumpkin's Butt

Groundhogs hibernate, and this winter, 3 of them are hibernating in my apartment: Sloopy, Lucinda, and Bumpkin.  Hopefully, it will only be a winter thing.  However, once one has lived indoors, living outdoors presumably loses some of its charm.  Thankfully, groundhogs are small.  I only have 1 bedroom.  I'm glad I bought that futon.  All 3 sisters fit quite comfortably on it.  I'll probably have to buy another TV.  All of us like to watch 30 Rock and The Office, but we don't agree on everything.  Bumpkin likes to watch CSI, Sloopy's favorite show is Dancing with the Stars, and all of them like any show that features food and how to cook or prepare it: especially Lucinda.  I hope that Bumpkin doesn't find out about cable while she's staying here.  I don't have cable.  If she becomes aware of it, I suppose she'll force me to order it, and then I can probably look forward to hours of Food Network channel watching everyday.  I don't like to watch the Food Network.  There is enough temptation out there.  Delicious food is advertised on TV, on the radio, and in magazines.  It might be mentioned in a book you're reading or by a friend at any time.  Intentionally watching scrumptious food on TV is a bad idea in my opinion.  You're liable to make yourself hungry even when you really aren't. 
I'm doing enough shopping and cooking as it is.  The sisters want to try every vegetarian dish they see prepared on TV.  Bumpkin, since she's the only one of the sisters who can write, is always adding foods to the shopping list.  She's also constantly jotting down recipes for me to try.
Groundhog poop has been a problem; as I expected it would.  They were pooping everywhere but the futon.  I doubt I'll get any of my security deposit back when I eventually move.  Although, Bumpkin could help me get every penny of it if she wanted to do so.  After cleaning poop off the carpet many times, I bought some kitty litter and a litter box.  I explained, to Bumpkin, the purpose of these items.  Fortunately, she was receptive to the idea, and she showed her sisters, through example, how to use the litter box.  So things have definitely improved.  But they just eat more and more.  And, obviously, the more they eat, the more they'll poop.  I've never had a cat before.  I'm not used to changing a litter box 8 times a day.  It seems like it's only going to get worse.  
What will happen when they become groundhog adolescents?  Are they going to have several groundhog boys over?  Are they going to have sleepovers with their friends?  What if Bumpkin learns how to use my computer?  Will she be meeting groundhogs on Craigslist?  Will she spend so much time chatting that I'll never get to use my own computer anymore?  Why, oh why, did I cause all of this by naming Bumpkin Bumpkin and subsequently allow the dark netherworld to bestow her superpowers upon her?