Fuck the Oscars

Since tonight is oscar night, I can't help mentioning that I don't give a fuck.  Awards shows suck.  I haven't voluntarily watched one in years.  I've only seen some, because it's what "friends" were watching (They aren't friends anymore.).  These shows are boring as hell.  The winners get up there and thank a bunch of people.  That's what they all do: boring!
It's beyond me why regular people (People who aren't rich.) would want to watch multi-millionaires get their asses kissed all night long.  Apparently, getting paid all that money for playing pretend isn't enough.  What are they doing?  They memorize lines and repeat them while moving or sitting on their asses.  It's not rocket science.  They even get to do sex scenes and make out with hotties: nice work if you can get it! 
I just recently saw Captain Fantastic, which is the movie that Viggo Mortensen is nominated for best actor for.  His performance was nothing special. 
The only award I pay any attention to is best picture, because I am a movie fan.  However, not all of the winners are worth seeing.  Forrest Gump and The English Patient sucked, and Crash wasn't very good. 
I've mentioned nepotism here before, because I haven't been the beneficiary of any.  A lot of actors have "made it," because they are related to successful actors, directors, etc.  I saw part of a show in which they were showing what some famous actors were doing before they were famous.  They showed Jeff and Beau Bridges acting, as kids, on their father's (Lloyd Bridges) TV show Sea Hunt.  I'm sure they earned those acting jobs, and it had nothing to do with nepotism (sarcasm).    

Teller of Truths

A teller of truths in a world of smiles, lies, and bullshit is what I am.

Don't Bring Them Into This World

If you don't want your children to be bullied, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be perturbed, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be frustrated, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be insulted, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be humiliated, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be harassed, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be beaten, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be injured, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to live with disabilities, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to live with autism, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to live with severe peanut allergies, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be kidnapped, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be molested, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a stalker, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be raped, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be suffocated, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be strangled, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be shot, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be stabbed, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to drown, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be murdered, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be tortured, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to become paralyzed from the waist or neck down, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to lose one or more body parts, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be casualties of war, don't bring them into this world
If you don't want your children to be victims of terrorism, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of genocide, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a car accident, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a tsunami, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of an earthquake, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a hurricane, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a flood, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a tornado, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a fire, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to get struck by lightning, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of an avalanche, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a volcano eruption, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a landslide, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of rockslide, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a mudslide, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of a sinkhole, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be victims of an infrastructure failure (sudden bridge collapse), don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to get cancer, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to feel pain, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to suffer, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be miserable, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to have to deal with shitty, selfish neighbors, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be overwhelmed with all the shit, as people living in society, they have to remember, think about, and do, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to suffer from loneliness, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to suffer from desperation, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to spend much of their lives working at jobs they hate, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to eventually be too tired to work, which, of course, would compromise their ability to put food on the table and keep a roof over their heads, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be discriminated against, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be hated, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be fired, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be unemployed, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to live in poverty, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be homeless, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to envy the talent and success of others, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to feel as though others are rubbing their success and money in their faces, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to feel as though you're a loser, because you're not successful, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to live in fear, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be looked down upon, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to have to deal with shit, both figurative and literal, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be depressed, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be depressed, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to become alcoholics, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to become drug addicts, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to become insane, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be arrested, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to go to prison, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to be convicted, incarcerated, and executed for a crime they didn't commit, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to pray for death, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to hate you for bringing them into this world, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to commit suicide, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to experience the deterioration of their minds and bodies as a result of aging, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to deal with the deaths of friends and loved ones, don't bring them into this world.
If you don't want your children to die alone, don't bring them into this world.

If you want to keep your children safe, don't bring them into this world.
 

Alcohol & Drugs: Destroyers of Lives

Drugs and alcohol may have ruined my life.  As I've mentioned here before, there certainly were problems before I became acquainted with drugs and alcohol, but they have definitely taken a toll on my life. 

Considering the first time I got drunk, I should have stopped right then and there.  I had never gotten drunk before.  My mother was at her night job, so I was alone in the house.  I was a high school student at the time.  I knew nothing about alcohol.  I started with a drinking glass full to the brim with blackberry brandy: straight and warm.  I drank it down.  Then I got to work on a quart of vodka: also straight and warm.  I almost finished it, and I probably would have, but I stopped because my mother returned.  I could have drank myself to death.  I vomited in my sleep that night.  I could have choked to death on it; many people have died that way.
Usually, when people first drink alcohol, they don't like the taste of it.  If we only followed our instincts and stopped right after that first sip, which is the smart thing to do. 
Even when I was a drinker, I thought liquor stores were evil places, and they are.  They supply the alcoholic with what he or she needs to kill themselves. 
I used to smoke weed.  I've wasted so much money on it.  After many wasted years, I finally quit smoking it.  But, thanks to Facebook, I reconnected with an old college friend (the guy I wrote about in the "Frenemy" post), and, he, being a bad influence, got me back to smoking it again.  Even a moment of clarity didn't get me to stop when I should have.  I was watching a movie that I ultimately didn't like much called Old Joy.  However, I took something very important away from it.  The movie involved 2 friends hanging out in the woods.  One of them smoked weed, and the other one didn't.  Even though I was smoking at the time, I thought it was pathetic that one of them needed to get his little pipe out and smoke over and over again while the other guy didn't.  I don't want to be the guy that needs it; I want to be the guy who doesn't need it. 
Smoking weed made me cough violently plenty of times, which hurts.  When we cough as a result of smoking, it's the body's way of saying it doesn't like smoke, that it's not good.  Smoke blackened my lungs.  Being high is fine, but not coming down from it, which, of course, is inevitable.  Then you need more.  More and more and more: it's never enough.  It's a big trap.  And it contributed to my depression.  I was depressed coming down from it, and depressed the day after smoking: sometimes 2 days after.  In college, the only semester I got good grades in is the one before I smoked weed for the first time.  After that, they went down and stayed there. 
People who drink risk getting a DWI.  If a sober person gets into a fight with someone who's drunk, who do you think the police are going to believe?
People who smoke weed put themselves in a weak position.  My new neighbors smoke it.  They opened the hall window, probably because they're paranoid and worried about getting caught.  I closed the window.  I have nothing to worry about.  I'm free, because I'm living a clean life.
If you're reading this, I care about you to some degree, because writers want people to read their writing.  Don't drink or do drugs.  They have ruined countless lives.  Life is hard enough without sabotaging yourself, which is I believe is what we do when we abuse alcohol and drugs.
I've been sober since 7/31/16 and clean longer than that.     

Things People Care About More Than Animals

This is a list of things people care about more than animals (especially animals like pigs, cows, and chickens, etc.)-money (obviously), TVs, football, golf, basketball, baseball, NASCAR, soccer, tennis, ping pong, Tiddlywinks, god, Jesus, flags, Scandal, phones, The Price Is Right, what they look like, wallpaper, cars, Wheel of Fortune, soap operas, shoes, shoelaces,  tools, furniture, bug spray, hammocks, paperweights, Jeopardy, their weight, letter openers, their lawns, pens, Frisbees, hula hoops, jewelry, crystals, alcohol, drugs, bubblegum, bubble bath, sex, The Walking Dead, etc.
I could go on and on here, but the point is obvious.  To the average person, animals' lives are practically worthless.  I may have mentioned this here before, but I'll probably never forget this line from a movie called The Boost.  James Woods' character bought a car and a dog for his wife.  He said something like, "A $50,000 car and a $2 mutt: go figure."  I think this was meant to be a funny line, but it makes me very sad, because it's true.  Dogs are pretty much free to adopt, but they're put to sleep because they're not wanted.  It seems to me like the only way to enjoy life with all this suffering going on is to have no conscience.
 

Dead Souls

"I see dead people," is a line from a movie that a lot of people like.  I see a lot of dead souls, which you can see in people's eyes.  I work with people who's souls are on life support.  Like many people, they spend a lot of time working a boring job that they don't like, which kills the soul.  They stare at their smartphones, and they live for their time in front of the TV. 
"You can be anything you want to be," is 99.9% bullshit.  How many people would like to be Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, LeBron James, or Stephen Curry?  Lots.  But only 4 of them are.  The vast majority of us have to settle for jobs, careers, and lives that we don't really want. 
My soul is mostly dead.  My writing gives me hope.  As previously mentioned, I'm working on a comedic book, which is close to being finished.  I'm excited about that, but I can't help reminding myself that, due to overpopulation, I'm living in a world of billions, many of whom are desperate for attention.
I'm grateful for the page views this blog gets.  It's dark, but perhaps people appreciate the no-bullshit realism here.  I have tons of things to write about here, but, as I just mentioned, my main focus is my next book, as it should be.  Several people have told me I'm funny (unsolicited), so I suppose that comedy is my forte.  That's all for now.

Frenemy

I'm trying to let go.  I've been thinking obsessively about my former best friend.  As previously mentioned, I have OCD,  He is a very mean, angry person who has yelled and screamed at me many times for no good reason.  He has kicked me out of his house twice.  I'm very angry about all the shit I've taken from him.
As mentioned previously, I have depression.  I've read books about it.  You're supposed to have friends.  I suppose this is why I've taken so much shit from him.  I was thinking, he's a very angry asshole, but it's better than having no friends.  He knows I have depression, but, obviously, that didn't stop him from being cruel to me.
I'll tell the story of one of the times he kicked me out of his house.  He's an avid gambler.  He talks at length about it, which bores the hell out of me.  Anyway, we were watching a college football game.  As previously mentioned, I don't give a fuck about football, but it was his house, so he had control of the remote.  This happened to be a good game.  One team, that had been way behind, was making an improbable comeback.  I was cheering for them.  My former friend, B, became angry with me, because he had bet against the team.  I couldn't believe it.  He accused me of fucking with him by cheering for the team.  He became very angry.  I pointed out that, if he was losing his bet, it was his fault, and his fault alone, because he placed the bet.  He kicked me out of his house over that bullshit.
I could go on and on about what an asshole he has been to me, and perhaps I'll add to this.  But I'm just trying to let go of my obsessive anger.     

Smiles & Lies

Smiles and lies try to hide the truth about life in our society.  Watch TV and you'll see plenty of it: especially in commercials.  Smiling people trying to sell shit to miserable people.
Post your pics of you putting your faces together smiling on Fakebook.  Don't post pics of the truth behind the façade: pain, loneliness, despair. 
At work, I dealt with some customers.  I was polite to them.  As the couple was walking away, the woman said, loudly, probably for my benefit, "Hi.  How are you?"  I think she was criticizing me for not saying "How are you?" to them.  I don't like it when cashiers ask me how I am, because I know they don't care.  Why would you want someone who doesn't know you, and doesn't care about you, to ask you how you are?  I don't understand it.  This woman, who I think is a piece of fucking shit, must like all that fake shit.  She must like living a fake and phony life.  I pity her.
Biological parenthood is where the most smiles and lies come from.  Bring a little baby into this fucked-up world to cheer your selfish ass up.  Smile at your cute little baby as you ignore all the pain, shit, and misery that person will have to go through as a result of your pathetic unprotected sex.  Lie to yourself that you haven't done a very cruel thing by subjecting your child to all the shit that life has to offer.
I'm so tired.  I'm in such pain.  It's only going to get worse.

Fuck American Football

One of the most annoying things one has to deal with in this country is the popularity of American football, which I couldn't care less about.  As a lover of animals, I'm truly offended that the average American cares so much more about these meaningless football games than the extreme, widespread suffering that people are forcing animals to endure.
At work, I've seen guys standing around, talking so seriously about football, as though it mattered more than nothing, which it doesn't.  The only people that should care about football are those who are profiting from it: the players, coaches, owners, commentators, etc. 
It's not as though I never cared about it.  I was a big sports fan when I was a kid.  Then, one year, my baseball team, the Yankees, won the World Series again.  I watched the players jumping around like happy children, and it did nothing for me.  What happens when "your team" wins?  Does a million dollars get directly deposited into your bank account?  Of course not.  I essentially went from being a pro sports fan to not caring about it at all in that moment.
At work one day, in the break room, a coworker was watching a football game on TV, but that wasn't enough.  He felt the need to talk to me about the game, even though I was trying to read a book.  Apparently, the book in my hands wasn't enough of a clue that I didn't give a fuck about the game.
Football is boring.  The playoff game that my coworkers were going crazy over yesterday wasn't even close.  One team clobbered another.  How many times has a quarterback handed the ball off to a running back, who ran for a few yards before being tackled?  Over and over and over again.

What a Wonderful World

What a wonderful world to bring babies into.  Terrorists driving trucks through crowds of people is the new norm.  If you haven't already, imagine the brutality of what happened in Berlin and Nice: people's bodies being smashed, crushed, dragged, and brutalized.
I remember hearing that there was a baby boom after 9/11.  Apparently, people are so fucked-up, that when terrorists hijacked passenger jets and used them to knock the Twin Towers down, they thought, what a great world to bring babies into!
Life is pain, fear, shit, boredom, frustration, and agony.

Cruel Holidays

The holiday season is when humans celebrate their dominance of animals and nature.  They put turkey carcasses and hams on their tables.  They cut down living trees so they can put them in their homes for a matter of days or weeks.  Then they unceremoniously toss them to the curb.  How much of this sort of death and destruction occurs during the holiday season?
It's too easy to be cruel to animals.  Meat is everywhere.  It's advertised.  It's acceptable to be cruel: especially if you're not getting blood on your hands.  Meat is too far removed from the animal it once was.  Perhaps they should put pictures of lambs on lamb meat in stores and on menus in restaurants. 
A coworker showed me pictures of 2 dead deer her friends had murdered.  She was so happy about it.  Also at work, a customer asked another customer, with a smile on his face, if he had killed deer, because he was buying a freezer.  He had killed deer.  A customer was buying a squirrel trap to catch a "dirty, rotten, stinking" (definitely his words, not mine.  I love squirrels.) squirrel, which he thought was funny.  I shudder to think what he would do to a squirrel if he caught one.
At work, we have a wall of cruelty, that's covered with gift cards to restaurants that serve meat: Burger King, Red Lobster, steakhouses, etc.
I don't have much of a reason to live.  At work, I'm surrounded by people who think nothing of being cruel to animals, whether directly or indirectly.  They talk about the meat they enjoy with smiles on their faces; they never let me forget it.  At home, I have to hear my loud, shitty neighbors.  Whenever I am, I'm always in pain and tired.  I've had a runny nose for weeks, if not months.  The skin on my hands is dry and cracking open as a result of the cold weather.  On the way to work, in a blizzard, I lost control of my car twice.  I'm lucky I didn't hit anything.