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| So little, so cute, so deadly |
Bumpkin is still causing mayhem around these parts. For the second time, that I know of, she has fired a large and powerful fireball from one of her paws that has destroyed something. In this case, it was a car. The car exploded and went up like a tinderbox. By the time the firemen put it out, the car was a total loss. You couldn't even tell what make or model it was. Again, the police came. Naturally they'll want to investigate the cause of the blast. Once again, I told them that Bumpkin the groundhog was responsible for the destruction, but I don't think they believe me. I realize they probably think I have a screw loose in my head or something, but they'll see. Once she takes the city, she'll seize the county, then the minds and wills of all human beings living within the great state of New York: the Empire State. Though soon to be renamed "New Bumpkin: the Bumpkin State." She already has every soul in my apartment complex, including mine, under her powerful spell. She simply does not have to spend much time grazing anymore. She has a battalion of brain-controlled zombies to do her bidding. Whenever I hear her voice in my head, giving me a command, I follow it to the letter. Most of the time, she's ordering me to pick grass, dandelions, and other sorts of weeds for her, her sisters, and her mother to consume as an in-hole snack. Groundhogs eat weeds. Let the groundhogs be free to do what they want, and they will eat weeds and keep the grass from getting too long.
Bumpkin used to be content to frolic in the grass with her mother and sisters, but now it seems like nothing will be able to quench her thirst for power. I really think she intends to rule the world eventually. With each and every giant fireball fired from a cute young groundhog paw, she gets more powerful and closer to her goal of total and complete domination of all the humans on the face of the planet.
“Nothing will be able to quench her thirst for power.”
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