They Will Dance on Your Grave

"We will dance on your graves."

They look so cute.  They're baby groundhogs, they're sisters, and they're dancing.  Look a little closer though.  I asked Bumpkin and Sloopy why they were dancing.  Bumpkin said, and I quote, "We're practicing dancing on the graves of our enemies."  How has it gotten to this point?   It's not enough to impale and destroy, she also has to dance on her victim's graves?  And must she drag Sloopy into it, who I always thought was sweet.  I think she is, but, unfortunately, Bumpkin is probably controlling Sloopy to some extent, if not completely.  Sloopy hasn't been blessed (or cursed?) with the superpowers that have recently been bestowed upon Bumpkin by the dark netherworld. 
Bumpkin likes a lot of music, but lately she's been into Gangsta Rap.  She likes 'Pac, Jay-Z, and Eminem.  The dance her and Sloopy were doing was a sort of gangsta strut or gangsta stroll, as it were.  They stood up on their hindquarters (love that word), lowered their front legs, and did a slow gangsta roll, homie.  At least that's what Bumpkin called it.  It sounded about right to me; that's what it looked like, come to think of it.  But she could be wrong, we mustn't forget, she's superpowerful, but she's still just a wee-lil' baby groundhog after all.  So she could be wrong as far as what the dance she and Sloopy were doing is literally called, but she might be right too.  For a baby groundhog, she's a pretty smart cookie.  She'd likely destroy you in a trivia contest; she's a very quick study.  Of course, once she destroys you in trivia, she might elect to destroy your body and soul simultaneously.  And if she does, you're toast.  I've seen it before.  Consider yourself warned.  Do you want to become a fresh Bumpkin victim?  Maybe she'll write Sloopy's name in blood the next time she murders.  Her's was the first name to be written in blood on a sidewalk in my apartment complex.  I assume Sloopy will be next.  She seems to be closer to Bumpkin than their other sister, Lucinda, is.  Lucinda is, of course, very cute, but she's a little pudgy too.   She takes after her mother in that way.  Mother, like daughter, is a natural zaftig beauty.  There is photographic evidence to support these claims.  Trust me, if you are ever fortunate to have juvenile groundhogs living right next to you, you'd likely fall for them.  I love them.