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| A young Bumpkin grazing with her mommy: Sheila |
"I'll attack Canada first," declared Bumpkin. "That place is so freaking cold that I'll be doing them a favor by putting them out of their misery. That place is fit for neither groundhog nor beastie. Who says I don't have a heart?"
"That's nice of you, Bumpkin. It is a God-forsaken land during winter. You might want to toast Minnesota and Maine with your fireballs for the same reasons; it can get really cold in those states."
"Don't try to tell me what to do! I know all about that anyway, buster! I watch the weather channel."
"I'm sorry, Bumpkin. You're right. It's your war: not mine."
"Darn right, mister! It's my war! And I suggest you try to remain on the right side of it."
"Yes, ma'am. I know you will kill as many humans as you need to in order to win. And killing people is as easy as pie for you."
"Easy as pie? How does that make sense?"
"Well, it's just an expression that people say. It's means it's easy."
"What's so easy about pie? That's what I'm asking."
"I don't know."
"Then stop saying that, dummy."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Where was I? Oh yeah. After I attack Canada, I'll launch many super-sized fireballs that will kill humans anywhere and everywhere, but harm no animals. I want to let the humans know that the whole world is under attack, and there is no safe harbor."
"Good idea, mistress Bumpkin."
"You're darn tootin' mister."
"Then what?"
"Then I'll get on TV, and tell the humans how they can avoid further bloodshed."
"How can they do that/"
"By surrendering, butthead."
"Of course. What if they don't surrender?"
"I'll kill as many people in Switzerland as possible while not harming animals."
"They're neutral."
"I know."
"Good idea, Bumpkin. Annihilate a neutral country; that will have them thinking."
"Of course. Believe me, I know what I'm freaking doing."
The plan is coming together
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