I hate my job. My neighbors ruin my home life, so I never get to enjoy myself. I'm always in pain. My ears are always ringing. Life is shit. Suicide should be easy. I should be able to go to any drugstore and buy pills that will kill me, peacefully and painlessly, in my sleep. I don't want a painful, fearful suicide. I don't think I deserve that. I have no friends. I could call my aforementioned frenemy, but, as I've mentioned before, he judges, criticizes, and yells at me for no good reason. I hate life. I want to die.
I'm a bald vegan writer. I wrote 3 eBooks that are available on Amazon: "Farts & Literature" & "Veganman" (both by Sean Duffy), & my memoir, "American Loser" by Zach Murphy (I use pen names.). The links to them are in a nearby post. I love all animals: people, not so much. I'm a childfree atheist who believes in antinatalism. I have OCD & depression, or is life horrible? Society is an evil entity. Photo is of a wild groundhog outside my home
Wow, I thought your life was going much better for you? You found a job, got your drinking under control, and published another book. Dude, that's A LOT!
ReplyDeleteMy life has not improved at all. In fact, I completely stopped posting anything on that other blog you used to visit: Too much drama and darkness.
As for people and the world in general, I prefer to remain a recluse. Most people will tell you lies, and I've never been very good at figuring out when somebody is being truthful or dishonest.
Anyway, I think about suicide every single day, but I don't have the guts to go through with it. I still take meds and see a therapist, but I remain as depressed and anxious as ever - and OCD is reducing me to a poor man's Howard Hughes.
The one good thing is I've started a brand new blog: My goal is to try taking a more positive approach to coping with so much madness (my own and the world's). What do I have to lose?
My first post is about a great book you might want to read (the hero is a cat). There's also a movie based on the book, which I am impatiently waiting to get my hands on: I cannot afford to buy books or see movies at a theater, so I am forever at the mercy of my public library.
I'm glad you are moving forward in your life. Sometimes (when the pain becomes too great) it's difficult to know when we are making progress. At least you're not adding to the world's suffering, and that's more than can be said about most people.
Don't be a stranger,
Dylan
Thanks for your comment, Dylan. I appreciate it. I also frequently think about suicide, but probably lack the guts to do it. This society is pure shit. Maybe the answer is to leave it and live in the wilderness.
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