Kill Me, Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want you to kill me, mom!  I, of course, don't mean you personally.  You can't do anything right!  You can't even screw in a lightbulb without quitting and asking someone else to do it!  Pathetic!  Maybe that's all part of the reason why I'm a fucking mess that's praying for death!  I want you to find whatever doctor replaced Dr. Kevorkian, and get him or her to do it!  I already tried to hang myself, and I failed!  I'm worried that if I jump, I'll survive!  And then I'd really be fucked (with every bone in my body broken)!  No, I want to die, peacefully and painlessly, in my sleep.  You brought me into this world to suffer, and now I want you to take me out of it!  I'm sure I've had enough!  Do it!