Sacrifice

Ways in which I sacrifice-
I've never held my son or daughter in my arms, because I refuse to bring anyone into this f*cked-up world.
I make sacrifices for animals.  For instance, I could probably make a good living as a chef or cook (My mother made me start cooking when I was quite young.), but I refuse to prepare meat for people.  I pay more for things that are cruelty-free.  I haven't eaten exactly what I wanted since 2002.
Perhaps, one day, I'll make the ultimate sacrifice for animals.

If you eat beef, hamburger, or steak, you're killing cows and me.
If you eat ham, bacon, or pork, you're killing pigs and me.
If you eat any animal, you're killing that animal and me.

Life Is...

 
Life is...

a nightmare

pain

hard

torture

violent

brutal

unforgiving

relentless

ruthless

merciless

shit

cruel

sometimes boring

annoying

frustrating

intimidating

suffocating

ugly

sometimes beautiful (which can be hard to appreciate when you're miserable)

occasionally okay

ultimately horrible

Pigs

 


Any day now, any day now, I shall be released

Reasons to Live

 
Reasons to live:
Music
An appreciation for nature, which includes animals
A desire to change the world for the better

Smile

 

I've always liked this ditty.  When you read the lyrics, you might think it's insane.  Smile at everything?  Like a funeral, mass shooting, or terroritst attack?

 

Smile

Nat King Cole

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile

(Don't Fear) the Reaper

 
One of my all-time favorite songs: (Don't Fear) the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult, who are from the same island I am-the long one.  Simultaneously beautiful and morbid.

All our times have come
Here, but now they're gone
Seasons don't fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain
(We can be like they are)
Come on baby
(Don't fear the reaper)
Baby take my hand
(Don't fear the reaper)
We'll be able to fly
(Don't fear the reaper)
Baby I'm your man
La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la
Valentine is done
Here but now they're gone
Romeo and Juliet
Are together in eternity
(Romeo and Juliet)
40, 000 men and women every day
(Like Romeo and Juliet)
40, 000 men and women every day
(Redefine happiness)
Another 40, 000 coming every day
(We can be like they are)
Come on baby
(Don't fear the reaper)
Baby take my hand
(Don't fear the reaper)
We'll be able to fly
(Don't fear the reaper)
Baby I'm your man
La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la
Love of two is one
Here but now they're gone
Came the last night of sadness
And it was clear she couldn't go on
Then the door was open and the wind appeared
The candles blew and then disappeared
The curtains flew and then he appeared
(Saying, "Don't be afraid")
Come on baby
(And she had no fear)
And she ran to him
(Then they started to fly)
They looked backward and said goodbye
(She had become like they are)
She had taken his hand
(She had become like they are)
Come on baby
(Don't fear the reaper)

Death Culture

 
I'm a bitcher and a moaner.  I'm a sad sack.  Hey, you, don't worry, be happy!  Don't sweat the small stuff (And it's all small stuff!).
Thanks so much.  I feel so much better.
Here's the problem; once again, we have a mass shooting in the U.S.  I've said life sucks.  You're not supposed to say "Life sucks."  You're supposed to turn that frown upside down.  Don't you think these shooters think (or thought) that life sucks?  Maybe, if they didn't think that life sucks, they wouldn't have thrown their f*cking lives away (along with others').  Same thing with terrorists.  If you're living in some shit hole in Afghanistan with nothing, what do you have to lose?  I hate that the image Americans put out is we're all billionaires and millionaires.  It fosters hate.
If you have nothing to lose, and you want to die, you might want to take others with you.  You're gonna die.  You hate society and it's inequities.  Someone who doesn't mind dying, and wants to harm others, is very dangerous and hard to stop.  
I haven't bitched and moaned about this in a while, so it's time.  Obviously, I've been brought into the world, and I resent it every day.  I hate my parents.  They brought me into a world of death, pain, disease, mass shootings, weapons, bullies, terrorism, etc.  I really could go on and on about what's wrong with this society and this world.  All you need to do is go "back in the day" with my posts.  I'm sure I've covered the subject fully.
But, seriously, do you think it's a stretch that virtually all of these mass shooters, not to mention other murder/suicide folks, thought that life sucks?  They probably hated life.  They probably hated it so much that they wanted to take others with them.
This is a world full of violence, pain, and misery, yet people continue to procreate at a rate that I find to be insane.  Biological parents are selfish.  They procreate for their own sake.  They want a baby to cheer them up.  They want a reason to live.  They want a friend.  They want to make someone that will take care of them when they're too old to take care of themselves.
Me?  I've never brought a person or animal into this f*cked-up world, and I'm proud of that every single day.  Unfortunately, it's been done to me.                

I Never Signed Up for This

 
I never agreed to live in a world of...
violence
hatred
rage
rape
disease
aggression
terrorism
injury
pain
molestation
intimidation
domination
humiliation
discrimination
frustration
shit
piss
vomit
blood
mucus
garbage
death
depression
suicide
shitty jobs
commuting
driving
accidents
carnage
unemployment
obsolescence
multiple allergies
flossing
tooth brushing
gargling
bruising
showering (boring)
hand washing
dish washing
ass wiping
toilet cleaning
sink cleaning
stove cleaning
dusting
shoelace tying
door opening
door closing
window opening
window closing
vacuuming
sweeping

weapons
muggings
robberies
home invasions
war
burglaries
lay offs
greed
dishonesty
cheating
users
abusers
bullies
evil
evil doers
evil deeds
backlash
blow back
revenge
money lovers
people who don't care about animals
people who regularly, and thoughtlessly, contribute to animal cruelty by buying meat, eggs, dairy, leather, fur, etc.

What Makes Me Cry

Taken in Paris after the November 13, 2015 attacks.

What makes me cry?  In alphabetical order, life, movies, music, and terrorist attacks.

Prose & Poetry

 
Do Not Weep, Maiden, for Death Is Kind

What I want to do most is sleep.  That is how I know I want to die, for death is eternal sleep.  There is  no waking from it.  Every morning, I'm disappointed to have woken.  What I really want is to die, peacefully and painlessly, in my sleep.
Perhaps no one believes the person who threatens suicide will do it .  So many people have bitched and moaned about life and suicide, but most of them won't do it.
I was recently told, during a mental health appointment, that alcohol is a depressant.  I knew that already.  My response?  Life, existence, is a depressant, and it is much more powerful than alcohol.
Now that I've accepted death, I feel a certain peace: a peace that passeth all understanding.
Except for animals, I don't care anymore.  I've heard that (I don't care anymore.) in at least 2 songs (Phil Collins and Wilco).
As I wrote in my memoir, Memoir of an American Loser (under my pen name-Zach Murphy), suicide, for me, is like a blanket that sits on a high shelf in a closet.  It's ready to be employed whenever I'm sure the world is too cold to bear.
And if I kill myself, don't weep for me.  Weep for yourself, and the rest of the living (with the obvious exception of Isis members), because there is no pain and suffering in death: only in life.
I hope my writing survives: my 2 books, one about people's horrible treatment of animals (Veganman) and the other a humorous, bittersweet memoir about the pain of life (Memoir of an American Loser), this blog, and, to a lesser degree, what I've posted on Facebook and Twitter.  There's a lot of other stuff too, but it either isn't finished, or there's no place for it at this time.

Life Sucks: a poem

Life sucks
Life ducks?
Life trucks?
Life tucks?
Life bucks?
Life f*cks?
Life clucks?
Life pucks?
Life mucks?
Life luck's?
Life lux?
No, life sucks

Computer Blues

 
I have not been able to open my documents using the Microsoft Word Starter 2010 program that came preinstalled on my computer for days now.  I'm usually pretty good at finding answers to my computer problems: not this time.  Perhaps it had something to do with the recent "free" upgrade to Windows 10 that Microsoft offered to me.  If I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have taken the bait.  I have been able to use Libreoffice to open documents that I don't care that much about.  But I was updating Veganman before this happened, which was written using MS Word Starter 2010.  I'm nervous about opening, working on, and saving it using Libreoffice.  I don't want it to get messed up or changed.  I'm hoping it'll be OK (if I have to do it that way), because I can't find a solution to this dilemma.
So I think it's likely I'll change my previous position and rat on my next-door neighbor.  These kids are so f*cking loud.  Their mother is loud too.  She obviously doesn't care to be a good parent and keep her kids under control.  I've seen 2 kids, and I've seen 3 kids.  I assume she has 3 young children.  She's a shitty parent.  That's how I feel about it.  She allows her kids to bother the neighbors.  She acts as though she, and her kids, are entitled to be here.  We'll see about that.  I don't want to be a snitch, but I don't want to deal with this shit either.  Since snitches are so hated, doesn't it take balls to be one?  If I can improve my living situation by making a phone call, why wouldn't I?  That's me.  I don't care what other people think.  I don't care what other people do.  I think and do what I feel like thinking and doing.
Have I mentioned how much I hate pooping?  I hate yawning almost as much.  That's how I start the day: pooping and yawning.  Yawning while pooping.  Do I even have to explain why pooping sucks?  I hope not.  It sucks even more for me because of my OCD; it makes me wipe excessively.  Yawning sucks.  It's boring.  Sometimes, my mouth opens so widely, that it hurts my jaw.