New Babies!

One of the new babies.

What a great spring already.  Daisy, Bumpkin's daughter, gave birth to 5 babies!  They are scared of so much.  You only have so much time to get a picture of them while feeding, because most noises scare the babies into running back to the family hole as fast as possible.  One got real cuddly with her mommy.  They are cute as hell.  I hope the system will let me upload the pics.  If not, I'll have to look into troubleshooting.  These babies need to be seen.
Bumpkin, Sloopy, and Lucinda have spent a lot of time looking at them from the windows.  They all love the babies.  Bumpkin is so moved, that she's postponed her war with humans for control of the world.  She is full of peace and love.  She's been listening to The Beatles' "All You Need Is Love" repeatedly.  She's been listening to "Strawberry Fields Forever" quite a bit too.  The sisters keep sighing and fawning all over the cute little babies.
I saw something troubling this week, though.  I'd seen plenty of squirrels shimmying across the telephone wire in front of my windows before.  But I noticed a squirrel racing across the wire.  There was a good reason for this.  She was being pursued and attacked by 2 sparrows.  What craziness.  I was rooting for the squirrel.
I heard Sloopy and Lucinda squeal with delight.  I rushed to the bedroom.  Sure enough, Bumpkin had teleported 2 of the babies into the bedroom.  At first, they were a little scared.  Suddenly, they were indoors for the first time.  But then they saw the loving looks coming from the sisters.  Bumpkin and Lucinda are cuddling with the babies.  Sloopy started to make whiny noises, so Bumpkin brought another baby up for her to cuddle with.  Now each sister had her very own groundhog baby to cuddle and play with.
"Hey Bumpkin," I said.  "Could you please bring the other 2 babies and Daisy up now?  Daisy might get worried if she can't find her babies.  Then, I'd have a baby to cuddle with too."
"Okay," she replied.  She did it.  Now there were 9 groundhogs in my apartment.  "Let's have a party," she said.
"Sure Bumpkin," I said.  Should I bring out the sod and wheatgrass?"
"But of course," replied Bumpkin, "turnips and radishes too please."
"You got it ma'am." 

They're Back!

Brand new baby groundhog: spring of 2013.

"Will you cut it out already?" I said to the sparrow perched on the telephone line.  She had been chirping the same way over and over and over again.  It's amazing how loud a tiny bird can be.  It's also amazing how annoying they can be.  She just kept on chirping.
"Enough!"  I yelled out the window at her.  I think she heard me, but still she chirped continuously.  This time, I went right up to the window and screamed at her.  She just kept chirping.
"What the heck is going on over there?"  yelled Bumpkin from the bedroom.  "We're trying to watch Groundhog Day here!"
"I'm sorry, Bumpkin," I replied.  "But this bird is driving me nuts!"
Suddenly, the screen slid open, and one of Bumpkin's fireballs of destruction zoomed past me and out the window.  It hit the sparrow and exploded.  The bird had been disintegrated completely.
"Thanks Bumpkin," I said.  Now that that bird was gone, I could hear all the other birds chirping and singing.  One of them was singing a sort of intricate tune.  The problem was it was a very short tune, and she just kept repeating it endlessly.
"Shut up!"  I yelled out the window.  That had no effect whatsoever.
"Hey buster, I told you we're trying to watch a movie in here!" said Bumpkin.
"I'm sorry, but these birds are driving me crazy with all the noise they make.  They never stop; they just keep chirping and singing, chirping and singing till infinity!"
"Do you want me to kill 'em all?" asked Bumpkin.
"No, I guess not," I said.  "Can you think of any other solutions?" I asked.  I immediately noticed that the case that holds my ear plugs opened up.  The ear plugs flew across the room toward me.  Then they gently lodged themselves into my ear canals.
"Thanks Bumpkin, but I was listening to music.  I can't hear the birds now, but I also can't hear the music."
"Shush!"  yelled Bumpkin.  "You always do this when your ear plugs are in.  Your voice gets way too loud!"
I took them out of my ears.  "Sorry Bumpkin, but it seems like there's just no solution to this problem.  Do you think you could ask them to be quiet?"
"I can try, but their bird brains might be too small to properly receive my telepathic request."
"I'd be most grateful if you could give it a shot, Mistress Bumpkin."
"If I do, will you quit your whining?"
"I promise."
"Okay, here it goes."
The birds continued to chirp and sing.
"Did you do it?" I asked.
"Yes, I did it.  I told you I didn't think it would work.  Now will you quit your complaining?"
"Yes, ma'am."  You can't win with these birds.  They're cute, but they're way too noisy.    

A Trip to the Zoo

Baby groundhog: spring 2013.

"We're going to the zoo today," Bumpkin announced.  Sloopy and Lucinda squealed with delight; I did not.  "You're going too, buster," Bumpkin said to me.
"Okay," I said.  "I don't like zoos, but I know you don't like them either.  So I have a feeling that you have a plan in mind."
"You better believe it, buster," Bumpkin replied.
So I opened the car doors for my groundhog friends, and they clambered into the car.  "Who's driving?  You or I?" I asked Bumpkin.
"You," she replied.
That made sense.  We live quite close to the Seneca Park Zoo.  We were off.  Bumpkin used her powers to roll the passenger-side window down all the way.  It wasn't very warm out, so I was a little worried about what she had in mind.  Sure enough, she wasted no time in launching one of her fireballs out the open window.  I heard the explosion and looked toward it.  She had completely destroyed a steak house.  I just kept driving.  Phoosh!  Another fireball left the car.  This one hit a restaurant.  Again, it was leveled.
"You don't like restaurants very much today, do you Bumpkin?"
"I wouldn't have destroyed them if they were vegan restaurants, but any restaurant that serves animal meat must be vanquished.  So many humans are just fine with the mass murder of animals for food and other reasons.  Those days are over.  Any human who eats animal meat needs to stop immediately or take a dirt nap.  Humans don't need to eat meat.  They do it out of selfishness.  They don't care about the animals that they're eating; that's for sure."
We finally made it to the zoo.  There was a line of cars waiting to get in to the parking lot.  My car suddenly went airborne, courtesy of Bumpkin no doubt, and soared over all the other cars.  She set us down gently in the middle of the zoo; then she got out of the car.  She left the ground and began to fly.  Whenever she passed an animal, she used her powers to open the cage.  Once the animal left the cage, he or she levitated and flew away.  Lions, seals, rhinos, tigers-they were all freed, and they all flew off in different directions. It didn't take her long to free every single animal in the zoo.  She returned to the car.
"That was very nice of you to free those animals, Bumpkin.  Where did they go?"
"I sent all of them to their natural habitats; where they belong."
"Good intentions, Bumpkin, good intentions.  But these animals are used to being fed by people, they might have a lot of trouble dealing with their new surroudings."
"As usual, I'm way ahead of you buster.  I've already sent instructions, telepathically, to animals that are living freely in the areas where these will be sent.  These free animals will take these newly liberated animals under their wings and take good care of them.
"Amazing, Bumpkin, just amazing.  Is there anything you can't do?"
"No." 

Once again, I tried to post a picture with this, but the system wouldn't let me.

Beware!

Groundhog baby.

"The biggest problem right now is all the animals that are being mistreated by people," Bumpkin said.  "They need help, and they are my biggest priority."
That is why her, her sisters (Sloopy and Lucinda), and I got into my car.  Before I could even start her up, the car went airborne: courtesy of Bumpkin's superpowers.  We went straight up into space.  After a brief period of warp-speed space travel, my car abruptly took a nose dive.  We slowed down just in time for a perfectly smooth landing.  A building stood before us that looked like a warehouse.  However, in the next moment, the building levitated to reveal all the chickens that had been crammed into that space.  They had been living in complete darkness every moment of every day, because it's a way in which people manipulate chickens for their own selfish purposes.  The chickens began to walk around freely.  The building that Bumpkin had levitated went further up into the sky, where she completely incinerated it with one of her fireballs.
"Hey, what the hell is going on around here?!"  This was the guy who had been keeping these poor chickens in miserable and overcrowded conditions.  He was a big, stupid-looking guy.  Bumpkin hit him in the chest with a fast fireball.  It knocked him back several feet.  He landed on his back: dead.  His chest was smoldering.
I saw a massive amount of chicken wire headed our way.  Bumpkin used it to line the nearby streets.  She probably did that to keep the chickens off the roads: to keep them safe.  These chickens were free.  After doing some squinting, they were getting used to the sun.  They were free to walk on dirt and grass: not a warehouse or cage floor.  After making sure they had enough food and water to last them a while, we were off to our next destination.
"What will happen to those chickens, Bumpkin?"
"I've texted PETA and Farm Sanctuary to let them know what happened.  They will send real animal lovers here to take care of them."
Next thing I knew, my car was hovering in front of a large office building.  I recognized the name in front of the building; it was a huge corporation that has made a lot of money while making many chickens miserable.  Here today, gone tomorrow.  Bumpkin leveled the building with one of her giant fireballs.  The animals of the world finally have the liberator they needed so badly.