Sunday, May 5, 2013

Beware!

Groundhog baby.
"The biggest problem right now is all the animals that are being mistreated by people," Bumpkin said.  "They need help, and they are my biggest priority."
That is why her, her sisters (Sloopy and Lucinda), and I got into my car.  Before I could even start her up, the car went airborne: courtesy of Bumpkin's superpowers.  We went straight up into space.  After a brief period of warp-speed space travel, my car abruptly took a nose dive.  We slowed down just in time for a perfectly smooth landing.  A building stood before us that looked like a warehouse.  However, in the next moment, the building levitated to reveal all the chickens that had been crammed into that space.  They had been living in complete darkness every moment of every day, because it's a way in which people manipulate chickens for their own selfish purposes.  The chickens began to walk around freely.  The building that Bumpkin had levitated went further up into the sky, where she completely incinerated it with one of her fireballs.
"Hey, what the hell is going on around here?!"  This was the guy who had been keeping these poor chickens in miserable and overcrowded conditions.  He was a big, stupid-looking guy.  Bumpkin hit him in the chest with a fast fireball.  It knocked him back several feet.  He landed on his back: dead.  His chest was smoldering.
I saw a massive amount of chicken wire headed our way.  Bumpkin used it to line the nearby streets.  She probably did that to keep the chickens off the roads: to keep them safe.  These chickens were free.  After doing some squinting, they were getting used to the sun.  They were free to walk on dirt and grass: not a warehouse or cage floor.  After making sure they had enough food and water to last them a while, we were off to our next destination.
"What will happen to those chickens, Bumpkin?"
"I've texted PETA and Farm Sanctuary to let them know what happened.  They will send real animal lovers here to take care of them."
Next thing I knew, my car was hovering in front of a large office building.  I recognized the name in front of the building; it was a huge corporation that has made a lot of money while making many chickens miserable.  Here today, gone tomorrow.  Bumpkin leveled the building with one of her giant fireballs.  The animals of the world finally have the liberator they needed so badly.        

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