Worse Than I Thought

I think these youngsters have been chased away from here.

I realized today, with sadness, that Betsy might have chased all of her children away except for Runty.  Lately, I've only seen her fat ass and Runty.  It's so sad the way groundhogs come and go around here.  Well, it's not sad when they arrive, but it certainly is when they go.  I haven't seen 4 of her children in quite a while. 
I gave Runty that name because he has the thinnest fur of any groundhog I've ever seen.  I have previously referred to Runty as a female, but I have a feeling he's a male.  I assumed he was female, because that's the way I do things.  If I don't know the sex of an animal, I assume that he or she is a female, because lots of people seem to be more protective of their sisters, mothers, wives, girlfriends, and daughters.  I saw a documentary about one of the founders of PETA: Ingrid Newkirk.  She said that animals are never its; they're hes or shes.  I agree wholeheartedly. 
There's plenty of grass for lots of groundhogs, but I guess Betsy doesn't feel that way.  I suppose her children aren't cute enough for her anymore.  I love her, but I don't love her mothering technique.
I sure hope Runty's fur grows in well eventually.  I don't want him to be too cold when winter comes.  Who could he snuggle with?  His mother Betsy?  Perhaps not.  She might be the worst groundhog mother I've ever seen. 
I did read what this guy wrote.  He wrote that groundhogs kill em' all and let god sort them out.  I've seen plenty of groundhog on groundhog violence, and I think I've seen lots of battle scars on little groundhogs.  It's so sad.  They're so cute, but they're lives are filled with fear and violence.  Again, I draw the line when it comes to human on groundhog violence.  I'm willing to get into a fistfight to protect a groundhog or any animal.  They're my brothers and sisters.  They belong on this planet at least as much as we do.
Okay now, black people have demanded their rights and gotten them.  Same thing with women: and now gay people.  It's the animal's turn: all of them.

Bad Groundhog Mommy

What happened to your cheek, baby?

Betsy is a bad groundhog mommy.  As far as she is concerned, her daughters can't go out while she is out.  One of my favorite groundhogs ever, Runty, cautiously approached her mother.  I saw trouble brewing.  Sure enough, she chased after Runty.  Runty ran like her life was at stake; maybe it was.  Betsy chases all of her daughters around.  I guess they're not cute enough for her anymore, and maybe she thinks they should leave the area.  It's a real shame.  Young groundhogs have so much to fear around here.  Of course, yesterday was Independence Day, which meant that idiots were setting off fireworks.  I hate that crap.  I saw the poor, scared groundhogs.  Why must we terrorize the animals of this world so much?
Sometimes the young groundhogs cry when their mommy is chasing them.  I don't blame them.  They have so much to fear.  The damn out-of-control kids around here seem to want to terrorize animals more than anything else.  Thank goodness I'm here to protect them.  I've told kids to leave animals alone twice, and I'll do it as much as I need to.  If their fathers have a problem with that, they better watch it.  I don't care how tough he thinks he is, I won't back down when it comes to protecting animals.  It's wrong for the little bastards to chase and throw rocks at wild animals.  I'll put the fear of god into cruel kids if I need to.
I feel bad for the stray cats in the area, but they scare the hell out of the young groundhogs too.  They're so cute, but they live in a world that frightens them so much.
Betsy is not the only bad groundhog mommy; Sheila was too.  I saw her attack one of her youngsters.  This is such a violent world.  Kill or be killed, they say.  I'm all for peace.  I'll attack no person or animal for no reason.  But if I need to defend myself, or another, I'm ready.  I'm in shape, and I know how to fight.  I won't start trouble, but I'll end it if I have to.
The groundhogs are smart.  I watched Betsy run to the fence which marks the end of the apartment complex.  Then she went under it and into no man's land, which is a narrow wilderness area that stands between this apt. complex and a Wal-Mart.  She'd be safe there.  I wonder if a groundhog dug that hole that goes under the fence.  They are good diggers.  I love 'em all.   

Groundhog Chronicles

A young groundhog

I've seen some strange stuff in the groundhog world lately.  Unfortunately, the mother groundhog chased one of her kids around.  It might be real aggressive behavior, but I've seen the same thing, a generation ago, when Sheila attacked Sloopy.  Then I saw a bird perched on a groundhog's back for possibly close to a minute.  I can't stand mean birds stalking groundhogs.  Birds love to attack cute little groundhogs, and they're too loud, they need to get their act together.  I have, in the past, assumed the birds were just bullying the groundhogs.  But it seems possible that the birds are eating bugs/parasites off of the groundhogs.
Another strange thing I saw was the mother doing a little maintenance on the family hole in the ground.  I saw her digging dirt out of the hole.  She also seemed to go under the bush where I hid all the rocks and glass, so people wouldn't throw them at groundhogs, and she dragged most of it out to put around the hole/home.  I think she's trying to protect their home, but she doesn't realize she's setting up bullies with things to throw at her and her kids.  It's a shame.  It's a shame she's setting them up, but more so for those who would take the bait.
Attacked by humans twice, that I know of, the groundhogs continue to flourish.  After all, they have my protection.  I'd gladly lay my life down for any one of the 6 groundhogs living around here.  They are great. I saw a couple of youngsters wrestling the other day.  They are so cute.  I watched them carefully.  I didn't want to see one dominating the other for sure.  What I was glad to see if that both of the groundhog wrestlers went on to their backs, the submission position, which, to me, meant that one wasn't dominating the other.  Maybe they love each other and are playing for fun.   They are so freakin' cute.  They get scared of lots of things.  Lots of noises and such, it sends them running to a bush near the building to hide.  I fully love all the groundhogs in the world.  I challenege you to treat animals as well as you can.  They live under our thumb, and we don't treat them well.  Things need to change.  Become vegetarian, it's easy, or vegan.

Good Deed for the Day

I won't let them hurt my groundhog friends.

We should be guardian angels for all the animals out there who need our help.  I heard some kids talking.  Their voices were coming from an area that contains the hole/home for a mother and her 5 baby groundhogs.  I had to see what they were doing.  I looked out the window.  They were throwing rocks and glass toward the hole.  I said "Leave them alone!"  The kids looked at me.  "What are you doing?"  I asked.
"Filling it up," said one of the kids.
I said, "No, don't do that.  There are little animals living in there.  Leave them alone."   The oldest of the kids looked at me with what seemed to be defiance, but I think they listened to me.  Then they ran off to somewhere else.
I had to go down and see if things were okay for my groundhog friends.   It wasn't okay.  The kids had thrown many rocks, pieces of glass, and sticks into the hole.  I can't believe how efficiently they blocked the hole.  Of course I removed as much as I could, and I tossed the rocks and glass underneath a nearby bush, because this was the second time I saw people throwing rocks at groundhogs, so if I hide them, maybe they'll have nothing to throw at them.
It must have been a very traumatic experience for my groundhog friends.  These kids put so much debris in that hole, and blocked it so completely, that if they couldn't dig their ways out, they might have starved to death.  Maybe they'd even be forced to cannibalize each other. 
So you see how animals can use our help.  Everything happens for a reason.  It's not just chance that I, someone who loves animals, would live right next to a groundhog hole.  I am my brother's keeper.  I think only one groundhog has come out so far today.  Poor things must be terrorized.  It's such a shame that people, especially kids, would attack animals.  It's such typically crappy human behavior. 
Anyway, maybe I'll have a chance to do more good things, but I've guess I've done at least one good deed today.  I got those kids to leave the groundhogs alone, and I cleared lots of rocks and glass out of their way so they could get out the usual way.  Try to do good deeds for animals, it feels good.

Stoned to Death

Fear not the bad man anymore, baby groundhog.

Bumpkin found out about what the evil elderly man did to the baby groundhogs; he threw rocks at them.  I'm sure he never imagined how he sealed his fate with the first rock he threw.  He angered the most powerful sentient being in the history of the world.  She got up early and waited for the nasty man to walk by.  She stared out the window for hours.  She saw him.  She levitated rocks from all over the area.  Once they were in the air, they hurtled at great speed toward the man.  He was shocked.  He was pelted over and over again with rocks.  He tried to cover his head and run, but he was constantly being hit by rocks.  Bumpkin did not want him to run away.  He was going to die; that was certain.  Bumpkin wanted him to die within sight of the hole where the baby groundhogs and their mother were attacked by him.  She sent 2 rocks at hyper velocity toward the man's kneecaps.  The rocks shattered them.  He had no choice but to crumple to the ground.  Rocks continued to hit him mercilessly.  He continued to cover his head with his arms.
"Suffer if you want to," said Bumpkin.  She increased the speed of the rocks that hit him.  Blood stained the man's white shirt.
Sweetpea poked her sweet little head out of the hole to see what was going on.
"That's right, Sweetpea," Bumpkin said.  "Come on out and watch the bad man die.  He won't try to hurt you or your sisters anymore.  He's going to die."
Sweetpea came out of the hole and so did her mother and sisters.  They watched as the man's body continued to be struck by rocks.  Sweetpea scampered over to the man.  By this time, he had lost a lot of blood.  Sweetpea dipped her front left paw into a pool of blood and began to write on the sidewalk.
"I knew it," said Bumpkin.  "I knew that Sweetpea is far from being the average groundhog."
Sure enough, Sweetpea wrote her name on the sidewalk using the bad man's blood.  When she was finished, she calmly crawled onto the grass and began to eat.
"Now the circle is complete," said Bumpkin.  "Sweetpea and I have enough power between us to conquer the universe.  I'm sure of it."
The man continued to bleed.  In fact, he bled out and perished where he fell.
"Good riddance," declared Bumpkin.   

The Face of Evil

How could a grown man try to hurt little babies like these?

Evil lurks behind many different faces.  I saw one this week.  Fortunately, I happened to be looking out my bedroom window as an elderly man walked across the grass toward the groundhog hole/home that's right next to the building I live in.  I suppose he saw the groundhogs frantically scamper into their home once they saw him coming.  He began by making a sudden move to frighten them.  Then he picked up rocks and began throwing them at point blank range into the hole at the baby groundhogs: not on my freaking watch.
"What are you doing?"  I yelled out the window to him.
He stopped throwing rocks and looked around to see who said that.  He saw me at the window.  He seemed guilty; like he'd been busted.  He smiled and said something that I didn't entirely catch, but I think he said something about how they damage the ground or some such garbage.  They're on this Earth, so they obviously belong here, and they have the right to live here in whatever way they see fit.
My adrenaline was pumping, so I don't remember if I told him to leave the animals alone.  I think I did, but my memory is a little fuzzy.  This guy's cruelty blew me away.  I think he's just a bully.  Now he's old and feeble, so he can't bully someone like me, so instead he terrorizes some baby groundhogs.  What's even worse about it is there's at least one bully among the babies.  One time, I watched from my window as a baby groundhog kept trying to get into the hole, but it seemed like at least one of the babies wasn't letting her enter.  So it's possible that one or more of the babies was having trouble getting to safety while this coward was throwing rocks at them.
Today, I heard a bunch of kids running around.  They were chasing and terrorizing rabbits.  I didn't like it, but as long as they were just chasing them, I'd figured I'd stay out of it.  When I saw that the largest of the kids was throwing rocks at a rabbit, I knew it was time to intervene.  I went downstairs and walked toward the kids.  They noticed.me.
"Don't hurt any animals," I said to them.  "Don't throw anything at them."
The largest boy said, "Okay."  So I went back inside.
I realize I can get into a lot of trouble, but I don't want to passively watch as people try to hurt animals.  I'm against fighting; it's stupid.  But if I see someone beating an animal, my plan is to tell them to stop.  And if they don't stop, I might have to take action.  And in such a situation, it's highly likely that I would be the one in trouble with the police.  But our legal system exists mostly to protect people: not animals.  Pets have some rights, though they are obviously abused on a massive scale.  Wild animals and "food" animals like pigs, cows, and chickens have very little in the way of rights.  And all I'm really referring to is the right to not be beaten, tortured, and killed.      

Mind the Gap

Blood of my Blood.

This is a public service announcement: without guitars.  This weekend, my friend and I went to see a stand-up comedian perform at the Comedy Club in Webster, NY, which is a Rochester suburb.  I couldn't believe how loud his mic had been turned up.  I've seen a bunch of comedians there; they have had plenty of impressive talents gracing their stage.  Anyway, this comedian was so loud, that I needed to go to my car to get my earplugs, which I usually bring everywhere with me, because everyone I know plays their music and/or TV too loud for my sensitive ears.  I was running behind the Comedy Club to my car.  I didn't notice a step on the sidewalk.  I tripped over it and landed on my hands and my right knee.   The picture I'm posting with this is of the tissue I used to absorb the blood that came from my hands afterward.  My right hand was worse.  A strawberry-sized piece of skin had been completely removed from my hand as a result of the trip.  The left hand wasn't much better.  The skin had been broken in several places on the palm.
Sure, what I did was stupid.  But I wonder whether it even makes sense for that step to be where it is.  It comes out of nowhere, and I bet it's tripped lots of people.  It's dark back there.  I think they should have an outside light over that step, so people can see it.  Of course we need to watch our steps.  We should look to see exactly where we're stepping and whether it's safe or not.
The baby groundhogs continue to grow.  They really grow too quickly.   For the first time, I stretched my neck so I could get a look at them climbing into their hole in the ground from my bedroom window.  They're great, but the sad part is that new babies means in with the new and out with the old.  Groundhogs can be tough and ornery.  I think the mother always chases away other groundhogs once she's had her babies.  She wants to protect them.  She has the instinct.
I'm worried about me naming one of the babies Sweetpea.  I wonder if this will be another situation where I helped a groundhog get her superpowers.  As was the case with Bumpkin, a perfectly cute groundhog has received a perfectly cute name.  Have I done it again?  Will Sweetpea get superpowers?  Will she be able to fling fireballs from her left paw like Bumpkin can?  Time will tell.
Bumpkin, and her sisters Lucinda and Sloopy, are still in love with the new babies.  Bumpkin has indefinitely postponed her war against humans for control of the world.  She's full of peace and love.  Once again, humans have the luck of the Irish.  If not for the recent births of these 5 babies, she'd be wreaking havoc against them for sure.  

New Babies!

One of the new babies.

What a great spring already.  Daisy, Bumpkin's daughter, gave birth to 5 babies!  They are scared of so much.  You only have so much time to get a picture of them while feeding, because most noises scare the babies into running back to the family hole as fast as possible.  One got real cuddly with her mommy.  They are cute as hell.  I hope the system will let me upload the pics.  If not, I'll have to look into troubleshooting.  These babies need to be seen.
Bumpkin, Sloopy, and Lucinda have spent a lot of time looking at them from the windows.  They all love the babies.  Bumpkin is so moved, that she's postponed her war with humans for control of the world.  She is full of peace and love.  She's been listening to The Beatles' "All You Need Is Love" repeatedly.  She's been listening to "Strawberry Fields Forever" quite a bit too.  The sisters keep sighing and fawning all over the cute little babies.
I saw something troubling this week, though.  I'd seen plenty of squirrels shimmying across the telephone wire in front of my windows before.  But I noticed a squirrel racing across the wire.  There was a good reason for this.  She was being pursued and attacked by 2 sparrows.  What craziness.  I was rooting for the squirrel.
I heard Sloopy and Lucinda squeal with delight.  I rushed to the bedroom.  Sure enough, Bumpkin had teleported 2 of the babies into the bedroom.  At first, they were a little scared.  Suddenly, they were indoors for the first time.  But then they saw the loving looks coming from the sisters.  Bumpkin and Lucinda are cuddling with the babies.  Sloopy started to make whiny noises, so Bumpkin brought another baby up for her to cuddle with.  Now each sister had her very own groundhog baby to cuddle and play with.
"Hey Bumpkin," I said.  "Could you please bring the other 2 babies and Daisy up now?  Daisy might get worried if she can't find her babies.  Then, I'd have a baby to cuddle with too."
"Okay," she replied.  She did it.  Now there were 9 groundhogs in my apartment.  "Let's have a party," she said.
"Sure Bumpkin," I said.  Should I bring out the sod and wheatgrass?"
"But of course," replied Bumpkin, "turnips and radishes too please."
"You got it ma'am." 

They're Back!

Brand new baby groundhog: spring of 2013.

"Will you cut it out already?" I said to the sparrow perched on the telephone line.  She had been chirping the same way over and over and over again.  It's amazing how loud a tiny bird can be.  It's also amazing how annoying they can be.  She just kept on chirping.
"Enough!"  I yelled out the window at her.  I think she heard me, but still she chirped continuously.  This time, I went right up to the window and screamed at her.  She just kept chirping.
"What the heck is going on over there?"  yelled Bumpkin from the bedroom.  "We're trying to watch Groundhog Day here!"
"I'm sorry, Bumpkin," I replied.  "But this bird is driving me nuts!"
Suddenly, the screen slid open, and one of Bumpkin's fireballs of destruction zoomed past me and out the window.  It hit the sparrow and exploded.  The bird had been disintegrated completely.
"Thanks Bumpkin," I said.  Now that that bird was gone, I could hear all the other birds chirping and singing.  One of them was singing a sort of intricate tune.  The problem was it was a very short tune, and she just kept repeating it endlessly.
"Shut up!"  I yelled out the window.  That had no effect whatsoever.
"Hey buster, I told you we're trying to watch a movie in here!" said Bumpkin.
"I'm sorry, but these birds are driving me crazy with all the noise they make.  They never stop; they just keep chirping and singing, chirping and singing till infinity!"
"Do you want me to kill 'em all?" asked Bumpkin.
"No, I guess not," I said.  "Can you think of any other solutions?" I asked.  I immediately noticed that the case that holds my ear plugs opened up.  The ear plugs flew across the room toward me.  Then they gently lodged themselves into my ear canals.
"Thanks Bumpkin, but I was listening to music.  I can't hear the birds now, but I also can't hear the music."
"Shush!"  yelled Bumpkin.  "You always do this when your ear plugs are in.  Your voice gets way too loud!"
I took them out of my ears.  "Sorry Bumpkin, but it seems like there's just no solution to this problem.  Do you think you could ask them to be quiet?"
"I can try, but their bird brains might be too small to properly receive my telepathic request."
"I'd be most grateful if you could give it a shot, Mistress Bumpkin."
"If I do, will you quit your whining?"
"I promise."
"Okay, here it goes."
The birds continued to chirp and sing.
"Did you do it?" I asked.
"Yes, I did it.  I told you I didn't think it would work.  Now will you quit your complaining?"
"Yes, ma'am."  You can't win with these birds.  They're cute, but they're way too noisy.    

A Trip to the Zoo

Baby groundhog: spring 2013.

"We're going to the zoo today," Bumpkin announced.  Sloopy and Lucinda squealed with delight; I did not.  "You're going too, buster," Bumpkin said to me.
"Okay," I said.  "I don't like zoos, but I know you don't like them either.  So I have a feeling that you have a plan in mind."
"You better believe it, buster," Bumpkin replied.
So I opened the car doors for my groundhog friends, and they clambered into the car.  "Who's driving?  You or I?" I asked Bumpkin.
"You," she replied.
That made sense.  We live quite close to the Seneca Park Zoo.  We were off.  Bumpkin used her powers to roll the passenger-side window down all the way.  It wasn't very warm out, so I was a little worried about what she had in mind.  Sure enough, she wasted no time in launching one of her fireballs out the open window.  I heard the explosion and looked toward it.  She had completely destroyed a steak house.  I just kept driving.  Phoosh!  Another fireball left the car.  This one hit a restaurant.  Again, it was leveled.
"You don't like restaurants very much today, do you Bumpkin?"
"I wouldn't have destroyed them if they were vegan restaurants, but any restaurant that serves animal meat must be vanquished.  So many humans are just fine with the mass murder of animals for food and other reasons.  Those days are over.  Any human who eats animal meat needs to stop immediately or take a dirt nap.  Humans don't need to eat meat.  They do it out of selfishness.  They don't care about the animals that they're eating; that's for sure."
We finally made it to the zoo.  There was a line of cars waiting to get in to the parking lot.  My car suddenly went airborne, courtesy of Bumpkin no doubt, and soared over all the other cars.  She set us down gently in the middle of the zoo; then she got out of the car.  She left the ground and began to fly.  Whenever she passed an animal, she used her powers to open the cage.  Once the animal left the cage, he or she levitated and flew away.  Lions, seals, rhinos, tigers-they were all freed, and they all flew off in different directions. It didn't take her long to free every single animal in the zoo.  She returned to the car.
"That was very nice of you to free those animals, Bumpkin.  Where did they go?"
"I sent all of them to their natural habitats; where they belong."
"Good intentions, Bumpkin, good intentions.  But these animals are used to being fed by people, they might have a lot of trouble dealing with their new surroudings."
"As usual, I'm way ahead of you buster.  I've already sent instructions, telepathically, to animals that are living freely in the areas where these will be sent.  These free animals will take these newly liberated animals under their wings and take good care of them.
"Amazing, Bumpkin, just amazing.  Is there anything you can't do?"
"No." 

Once again, I tried to post a picture with this, but the system wouldn't let me.

Beware!

Groundhog baby.

"The biggest problem right now is all the animals that are being mistreated by people," Bumpkin said.  "They need help, and they are my biggest priority."
That is why her, her sisters (Sloopy and Lucinda), and I got into my car.  Before I could even start her up, the car went airborne: courtesy of Bumpkin's superpowers.  We went straight up into space.  After a brief period of warp-speed space travel, my car abruptly took a nose dive.  We slowed down just in time for a perfectly smooth landing.  A building stood before us that looked like a warehouse.  However, in the next moment, the building levitated to reveal all the chickens that had been crammed into that space.  They had been living in complete darkness every moment of every day, because it's a way in which people manipulate chickens for their own selfish purposes.  The chickens began to walk around freely.  The building that Bumpkin had levitated went further up into the sky, where she completely incinerated it with one of her fireballs.
"Hey, what the hell is going on around here?!"  This was the guy who had been keeping these poor chickens in miserable and overcrowded conditions.  He was a big, stupid-looking guy.  Bumpkin hit him in the chest with a fast fireball.  It knocked him back several feet.  He landed on his back: dead.  His chest was smoldering.
I saw a massive amount of chicken wire headed our way.  Bumpkin used it to line the nearby streets.  She probably did that to keep the chickens off the roads: to keep them safe.  These chickens were free.  After doing some squinting, they were getting used to the sun.  They were free to walk on dirt and grass: not a warehouse or cage floor.  After making sure they had enough food and water to last them a while, we were off to our next destination.
"What will happen to those chickens, Bumpkin?"
"I've texted PETA and Farm Sanctuary to let them know what happened.  They will send real animal lovers here to take care of them."
Next thing I knew, my car was hovering in front of a large office building.  I recognized the name in front of the building; it was a huge corporation that has made a lot of money while making many chickens miserable.  Here today, gone tomorrow.  Bumpkin leveled the building with one of her giant fireballs.  The animals of the world finally have the liberator they needed so badly.